Where can I rent a pontoon boat to take me to Ho Chi Minh City and back?

Question

With NO questions about the um, cargo. Or why they're all screaming and crying and huddled together like so many wet rats.

Answer 1

You see. This is why I don't do cellars...you just moved in and you are already doing the dirty work??

Answer 2

I have a very nice yacht you can use. Very well appointed with designer padded walls. How many pieces of cargo, I, errr mean guests will you need room for. How much luggage will be involved. I need a little help with delivering my special 'baby powder' products. So I might have to swing by Columbia on the way. Hope that's ok..

Answer 3

ask for Hi ..  he's the one with only one arm,  give him the password 'dice'  and he will introduce you to Mr Big, the expat.  You'll know him because he is VERY short.  He'll ask you to go with him down a very dark alley, but don't worry he's only testing your commitment.  

Eventually, you will come to the river, swim to the other side and you will find the boat you seek.

Say warm, sweet and sticky sent you and the boats captain will ask you if I am one of your contacts.  Say 'yes' and you have the boat and crew, say 'no' or lie and he will shoot you,  VERY slowly.

Answer 4

If you don't want the hassle of the 'cargo', you could just rip the roof off of your grass hut and float on over to Ho Chi Minh City.

Answer 5

^ He said "dong." Sort of.

The public market sells ether if you want to deal with the crying and such. It also is a good mosquito repellant.

<----huffer

Answer 6

go down to the river and ask for Duong Nguyen.  he will get you everything you need.

Answer 7

HOW many times do I have to tell you -- Disney does NOT have a theme park there yet!

Answer 8

Meet me at the hotel after dinner. I have one all lined up so I can send my pharmaceuticals to the States...

Answer 9

at the fish net surplus bait and tackle shop  down by the river.

I know I suck

cheers.,..,.,.,.,