Where did I go wrong? ?

Question

My husband has been keeping to himself for quite awhile now, texting and smsing and reading emails in his room. When I asked why, he said nothing was wrong. He said I asked too much and that he didn't see the need to answer any of my queries. I didn't say anything to him this morning as I was busy with the laundry and since he didn't like my asking him anything anymore. He slammed the door on his way out. What the ?????

Answer 1

Wow...something seems to be up. I know a few months ago my husband was ALWAYS on the computer. I asked him why and he said "none of your business" so I got his password and checked out his email. Come to find out he had been secretly talking with an ex, calling her from work and email. So I would definitely look into what is going on with him. It sounds like he is trying to hide something from you.

Answer 2

hi friend

be careful cuz i know a lot of cases of husband of friends of mine

that goes to websites  to see webcam girls u know

u should check the historic and maybe his cc  hah

im nt being paranoic but we have to be smart with marriage cuz there r so many "lil" issues that can destroy 1 mariage

muahhhhhhhhhh

i dont want u to get mad at him but try to find out whats going on

if u love him u guys will be fine........

Answer 3

He is defiinty cheating. How you handle it is up to you. Good time to end if if you want out. I did and am happy now!

Answer 4

Seems like he may have a mistress in his life and you really need to sit him down and ask him some serious questions and the sooner the better.

Answer 5

one thing that you cant let go of in this relationship is communication. Right now, that's very important. Don't back away just because something is wrong. This is the most important time to  talk to him and find out what you did wrong instead of online people trying to guess what you did or what hes doing. Just sit down and say "honey, we need to talk." Don't pussyfoot around that will only make the tension worse.

Answer 6

can't really give you any ideas why he is behaving this way. you know him better than any of us would. if you are concerned with his behavior ask him whats going on. i know you told us that he doesn't want you to ask him any questions. so if he wont help you solve this problem  then take matters into your own hands and do what we women do best. snoop! check his call history on the cellular phone bill and or check his history on his computer (when he's not at home of course) good luck and i hope you don't find anything.

Answer 7

do what I did...set up an email account in another name. Email him as someone that just wants to talk. He will answer your emails with everything you want to know. He just wont know that he is writing to you. It is kinda hilarious when you think about it. I have a laptop and we share it. I log into "my" emails that he is unaware that I have and thinks he is writing to someone 500 miles away. If he only knew that he is writing to our own computer. All your questions will be answered and you may find out his intentions with other women.

Answer 8

Sounds like he might be doing something he doesn't want you to know about on the internet.  You should probably either check and see if he's deleting everything or not.  If he is, then he is probably hiding something.  Which would be insulting and difficult to deal with.  You should talk to him about it.  The more the tension builds the worse you will feel.

It's nothing you did wrong...some guys can just be a**es like that sometimes....I wouldn't blame myself...you can't control what his actions are....if you've been a great girlfriend then he's being a CRAPPY boyfriend...ya know?

He might just be doing it for attention or he might seriously be unhappy with your relationship and you should def. at least tell him you feel as if something is going on.  If worse comes to worst...ask for his passwords...if he has a huge problem with it....then I wouldn't stand for it because you know he's lying.  A relationship WILL NOT survive without trust or some one breaking and stomping on that trust.

Or you could just tell him get over it, or your not dealing with it anymore.  I'm sure he'd feel the same way if it were you.

Sounds fishy....be cautious.

Answer 9

You didn't do anything wrong. Something is up with you and you can sense it. Keep your eye on him.  

Answer 10

Wow, sounds like you 2 need a heart to heart talk. Don't ask him (yet) about the emails and texting, but just sit down next to him on the couch when he gets home from work and ask him about his day or whatever. s***w the laundry and everything else and pay attention to him for a little while. Make him feel important, stroke his ego, let him know he has your undivided attention. Keep doing this and eventually he will open up to you, it may take a few days of this. Whatever you do, please don't nag him or ask him to do anything for you during this time with him, ask him some other time. Make it all about him. Men love that. But generally, they do want to make their women happy, so when we are making them happy, they are happy to please. It's just a give and take kind of thing. Swallow pride for a bit (I know it's hard to do) and just make it all about him. If he says he just wants to watch tv, sit there with him, rub his head, or give him a neck massage, whatever, eventually he will come around and open up to you. Men have a big ego. There's nothing wrong with that. They are different than we are. But they want to feel loved and important too.  :)  You are awesome, just keep trying with him.  communication is the hardest part of marriage.

**If he doesn't open up on his own but you've spent a couple of days getting him to 'let down his guard' then ask him about the suspicious behavior. Internet p**n and webcam relationships are very very common in today's day and age and many many marriages deal with that, and sadly, it causes strife in a lot of relationships, so be careful.**

Answer 11

Sounds like he has someone else and you need to find out what is going on.  He is preoccupied with someone else.

You did not necessarily do anything wrong.  I worked so hard to keep my marriage working and did so much for him but he just "needed" that "strange" and nothing I did was good enough.

Answer 12

You already know the answer to the question you asked. There is a certain amount of privacy in marriage--but this is beyond that.

When he slams the door and gets mad at you, he is pulling the power or control deal on you. He doesn't answer you because he knows he is wrong. He gets mad to shut you up--and apparently it is working. He is also abusing you mentally. Do you think you deserve that? He obviously does.

You can let this eat away at you or call a halt to it. The longer you let his controlling behavior continue, the worse it will become, and the more frustrated you will become. Draw the line, take a stand, and make sure you have a friend or friends to help you with emotional support.

Don't run him down to friends and family members either. If things turn around and work out for your marriage, others don't need the messy details. When people love you, it is not easy for them to forgive the one that hurt you. It is your life, and you have to make your own decisions on what to accept and what not to accept. Right now though, you need help. Things won't get better until he is forced to make a decesion--clean up his act or hit the road.