Where do I even begin to fight his decision?

Question

I live in WA, my ex-husband lives in NY, and has our kids with him for the summer. (not court-ordered in any way, shape or form) Now that the summer's almost over and school is about to begin, he's repeatedly stating that he's not sending them home to me. I have full physical custody of our children. Where do I even begin to fight this? I'm so distraught I just don't know what to do, if anyone can please point me in the right direction I'd greatly appreciate it.

Answer 1

Call the court that gave you custody and tell them exactly what is going on.  They should be able to point you in the right direction.  I think you are even entitled to call the police and inform them (but don't hold me to that just yet).  You have full custody and he has nothing.  He has to by law bring them back.  

Answer 2

You can start by calling the police, If what you have stated is true -- that you have full, legal custody.  If you don't wish to bother with that, you can fly  to NY, and pick them up even at school.  Don't even tell the school that you are divorced... go  during lunch or earlier, not at the end of the day.....  Have a copy of your divorce papers with you, but don't show them to the secretaries.....  If they are your children, have a policeman outside waiting just in case the principal gives you a hard time, or the office staff.... but the less fuss, the better.

"Hi, I'm Mrs. Jones.  Johnny and Sarah have early dental appointments today... I've come to pick them up a bit early today...."  Then hope to h**l when they see you they don't make so big a happy fuss that the secretarial staff is alerted.

Otherwise, you two are in for big buckos and big legal battles.

This is about all I can come up with given what you have written.

Answer 3

if you have papers that state you have custody of the kids you should be able to go th NY and get a police officer to go with you and take your kids back.  If its court ordered that you have sole custody the cops can help you.

try this site i found

www.thelaw.com

I definitely wouldnt let them go again if he doesnt want to give them back!

Answer 4

You have omitted to tell us the age of your children, or the financial position of the children's father. Are the children of an age where they may prefer at this stage in their lives to be with their father.  These are some of the things that you should be taking into account. Please do not embark on one of these hideous battles over the children. It is so damaging to every one involved, and always, I repeat always ends in tears for all concerned. No one wins in this situation so you must talk and talk and talk some more.First of all what precipitated this action from the children's father. Without this knowledge we can only make nice noises to you which does not solve anything. All this talk about phoning the police etc, is not very constructive and will only cause you more grief if the kids take the side of their father. Talk is the only way to resolve this question. Are you just thinking of yourself or are you thinking and doing what is best for your children.I see this sort of thing in my law office all the time and I can tell you that this is a case where you"catch more flies with honey than vinegar". So go to a lawyer and determine your rights, not forgetting the children's rights or their fathers rights. Keep calm and do not rise to any provocation and be very careful of the words and language that you use in any discussion with the childrens father, it could come back to bite you. One bit of advise from someone who has made a living from these unfortunate situations, if you want a solution that will sit well with all parties concerned, do not try to sue or "police" your way through this, try talk first and if at first that does not work try it again. Remember this, your children will have long memories and if you harm their father, it may take a lot of forgetting. I wish you luck.

Answer 5

Only if NY will honor a court order from WA about custody will it matter.  Interstate cooperation can be a real thorn.  Some states just refuse to cooperate and will do nothing.  New York happens to be one of the more progressive states, and has the money to be progressive.

You will have to go back to court, get a judge to sign an order to be sent to the State of New York requesting that the children be returned to your legal custody.  He can go to court to fight it and he may or may not win.  Even if you win the custody battle, NY may not be willing to make him give them back to you.  This is a civil not a criminal matter.  So long as he is supporting them, and he has possession of them, the state is less likely to actually force him to return them to you, even with a WA court order...NY can just ignore it if they want to.  So you need legal advice from a NY lawyer who can tell you just what your chances are.

Otherwise, if you don't have the money to hire a NY lawyer and a WA lawyer, I'd say your chances are slim on getting them back, even with a court order from both states...and he knows it.

Answer 6

  I think the best thing to do is get a lawyer  the best you can afford . Then your going to have to go after him on his turf . But one thing did he file custody on the kids in NY? If not go there call the police and walk in and take them .    

Answer 7

Do you have court papers saying you have full custody?  If so, then his refusal to return is kidnapping.  Much like a father who takes his daughter for a trip to another state for a week without permission when his visitation rights clearly explain that he's only to have her for the weekend...not a whole week.  I'd try contacting the police first.

Answer 8

okay just relax and imagine how your kids feel being tossed around and watching they're parents fighting...i understand how you feel but set an example for your children!!!....Mabey your ex really loves his kids...i know this sounds stupid but have you seen knocked up?? and how they didn't even know each other but they made the best of the situation!! they got to know each other .... mabey you could try to get to know your ex again and start a friendship it will make your children feel a lot better....i mean look at all the broken families in the world and how much stress it causes the kids!!! you wouldnt want them to take they're stress out in bad situations.just advice step into they're shoes

Answer 9

If you are the custodial parent, he has to send the kids home.... you can contact a family law attorney for advice. Some of them will give free advice.  I hope you get the help you need.

Answer 10

i would go to police. i he doesn't return your kids and u have full custody it is considered kidnapping