Where do you draw the line for wedding invites?

Question

what is the rule of thumb for invites? Aunts, uncles, cousins? should I invite family members that i do not speak to on a regular basis?

Answer 1

For us, our budget drew the line. We found out how many we could afford and who meant enough to us for us to include them on the list. Mainly, close friends family PLUS since it was his parents paying, all of their associates/friends. We dont know them, but its still a special day for them-having their son get married and all-- so they also made their own list of who they wanted to share it with.

Answer 2

I'm very close to my family and many of my cousins are my friends who I hang around with - even have gone on vacations with them.

So I immediately included Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, even 2nd cousins because I'm close to most of them, too.

I did cut casual acquaintence-type friends - - you see 'em a little more often but you're not really close.  I also cut a cousin who I haven't seen in 10+ years.  He rarely attends family events anyway so I don't feel bad not inviting him.

But if your budget doesn't allow it, you need to figure out how and where to draw the line.

It may mean your Aunts & Uncles are invited but none of your cousins.

Try your best to include or exclude them in groups so you can always say "we couldn't accomodate our cousins" instead of "we let 2 cousins come, but not the rest".

And just be prepared that you will inevitably upset someone by not inviting their kid or another family member.  You mustn't let this get to you.  Let your budget be your guide!!!

Answer 3

A bit of advice I was given  when I was drawing  up my  guest list that stood me in good stead was " If you have to tread on someones toes, make sure  you tread on the toes of someone who is  standing  a long way away from you". If you can picture yourself looking at your wedding photos in years to come , think to yourself, now whose face would I be disappointed  NOT to see?

Answer 4

it depends on if you can afford to invite them.

if you can't, then just invite your closest relatives.

Answer 5

It depends on the size of your wedding.  Guaranteed everyone will not show.  I wanted 100 guests so I invited 130.  I invited immediate family, my aunts and uncles, and my friends.  None of my extended family (cousins, great aunts) were invited, we wanted that close knit family feel.

Answer 6

"Invite the people you think will be present for your 10 year anniversary." Meaning, invite the people who are important in your life, and will continue to support your marriage years down the road.

Answer 7

I think budget is really your man concern. As opposed to the other way around, deciding on a list and then trying to fit a budget to that. What is the venue and have you phoned around a few places and have some general idea on catering/menu planning ideas. If you look at a wedding reception site for instance that offers sit down vs buffet style, and small appies cocktail hour type menu vs full blown dinner or lunch, then you figure on their price range, say 30 -50 dollars per guest (that is an approximate price range we charge at our resort/spa for instance).

So then you can either go the small wedding, super small, like just two attendants as witnesses. Or just immediate family and a couple of closest friends. This isn't necessarily small though (I figured this out because my twin is getting married end of this month and they have just over 100 people and I know who is not coming so that would have put it in the 200 and more range- just to have invited parents and siblings and siblings' kids, would have made it 40 on each side. That's 80 people, not including uncles and aunts and cousins and grandparents (none of ours are alive anymore )and then friends/coworkers etc. So, lets say that's what you ended up with, simply siblings and parents and total 80- that's 2400-4000 dollars for catering  without including drinks or cake. Some costs won't change or not much, that will be things like DJ, hall rental (although you may have to upscale to a bigger place if you decide on more people), cost of decorations/table displays etc.

Figure out what sort of wedding you want first, traditional, fancy, elegant, beach wedding, outdoorsy rustic etc.

As to drawing a line, well that's a tough one only you can decide- based on budget etc

Good luck and congrats

Answer 8

I would send an invite to all family members and very close friends. Send announcements to the rest.

Answer 9

It depends on how big of a wedding you're having. If it's a small affair, then it's fine to only invite your closer family and friends. If it's a larger event, then it's okay to invite more people. Many probably won't come, especially if they're older and live far away, but they might appreciate receiving an invitation just the same. My family is treating mine like a giant family reunion, which is exactly what we wanted.

Answer 10

I just started out my guest list, I'm trying to keep it to just close family and friends. I guess it all comes down to the person and what they want, small or extravagant. Budget plays a big part in that as well.

Answer 11

Hi There,

Im actually going through the same thing at the moment but have decided unless it's somebody important if i haven't seen them in at least a year then dont invite them. It really depends on your overall budget though. You need to draw the line somewhere

Answer 12

We set our goals based on money and venue.  We knew when we started that we wanted close family and friends.  With two large families involved, of the 120 guests we plan on, most will be family.  Yes, it will be like a family reunion but better a wedding than a funeral if you are going to see the family.  Invite people who you know, love and want to share your day with keeping in mind your budget.  Good luck and congratulations.

Answer 13

I would first take your budget into account. If you haven't already deceided on a budget...d it now and stick to it or you will regret it! I'm getting married in Nov and have just done my ivitations. We have invited 90 guests. They are immediate family, grandparents, close uncles/aunts/cousins. At our reception, we are expected to pay $49 per chid who is taking up a chair. We decided that our budget is the most important thing and that our brothers and sisters deserve a night off from their kids so we have put on our invitations that 'children are welcome at the ceremony' meaning please don't bring them to the reception. This has kept our guest list at around the number we wanted.  If there' s a relative you haven't spoken to in years then I wouldn't bother.  

Answer 14

Well I would invite aunts,uncles,cousins and friends you are close to.Lots of people invite who ever they can so that they can say that they had a big wedding.Some people also invite a lot of people for the wedding ceremony but only a few to the the actual reception.It also depends on how many poeple the other half is inviting.

Answer 15

We are getting married in 5.5 weeks and are still having issues with this.  We decided to go with choosing people who will are likely to spend our future with.  (On my side not many cousins etc but on my partners side there's heaps)!

I have to say I thought getting married would be much for fun / exciting than this :(

Answer 16

From experience, I invited who both mothers believe should be invited from the relative lists and invite  friends that you have seen  socially more than once in the past 12 months the rest are passed over.If the cost is more than the cost of your dress, and all the other things you are overdoing it and better to put the money in your own pocket and dads will appreciate a thrifty you.

Answer 17

Stick to your budget and invite only who you can afford! Im sure they will understand if you need to stick to a budget! Congrates!

Answer 18

It depends on 2 things, how much you can afford, and how big you want it.  The smaller it is, the more affordable... the bigger it is, the more money someone is going to spend.  

Answer 19

All up to you. I'd evaluate what I could afford, who I want to be there and then invite those people that mean the most first and see how much money goes for those fringe people. Even if you don't send them an invitation you can always send them a wedding announcement card. Cheaper for you to just announce Second cousin Kelly got married! rather than feeding them.