Where is my life heading? Why do I hate myself?

Question

Today has been one of my better days, but I am still depressed. I actually cannot remember a day where my happiness lasted more than a day. I have anger problems that need to be taken care of. And I know what goals I want to achieve, but than there's that moment, the moment when I look into the mirror and see somebody who I do not want to be. The anger, the pain, the fear, the sadness is all becoming overwhelming for me. I cannot stand to look at myself, because being good-looking is/was very important to me, but that was just another dream passed away.

I am 16 years old (Male). I understand my life isn't the worst, but it still isn't good, so why should I be happy? I am asking the help of you people to guide me in ways that I never thought of. All of my problems stem from my insecurities about my looks. I don't like my face structure or anything on my face, and I don't know what to do. Please help me.

Answer 1

Well Ur Anger Problem's as u say might be Ur defensive state like its always on...Take it down Cool off...Ur an adolescent life is suppose to be complicated :)

(All of my problems stem from my insecurities about my looks)

U answered Ur own Question..Ur judging Ur self by Ur own appearance..

Stop DOING that.....I know that if u see me ull like um maybe laugh at me cause i look Funny that's how i look i wont let anyone take my appearance Face ..etc away form me ITS all mine..Look just look at life from another perspective....Worry about Ur heart not Ur face etc.....Cause the kind of heart u have will determine more for u in life then the way u look :P

Answer 2

My friend you first concentrate on studies.Get good marks and  later

a good job. Thinkk positively. Regular exercise,good food,deep sleep

association with good friends,reading good books will all help you to

get rid of depression. Listen to sweet music and watch good movies.

Answer 3

Lots of young adults your age are dealing with the same issues. My advice is to search for new activities that make you feel content, listen to the advice of your friends/family, and don't expect change overnight. It can take years to change your bad habits sometimes. Right now you are finding out who you are and you'll be a lot different person 8 years from now. Just hang in there.

And I know this sounds corny but its true... Happiness isn't a destination, its a journey.

Answer 4

Girls don't care about looks. They care about money.

Hugh Hefner isn't a very good-looking man.

Answer 5

i guess you cant really cover your face with make up.

so your stuck with it.

its prbably fine, and you are loved, there is also someone for everyone so dont stress.

i know its easier said than done.

maybe get a hobbie, do some things to keep you busy,

join cluns.

an being confident helps heaps too, when you;re confident, everything seems okay.

i kinda suffer some of the same issues as you nd its not great.

my parents always ask me if im depressed, but i dont se how i can be, because life isnt that bad.

theres not much to say, its hard.

maybe seek some professional help.

see a counseller.

they will help you.

Answer 6

You know what's weird.........I've been depressed my hole life up to the age of 25........I was an abused child and having red hair I was picked on at school.............Now everyone wishes they had my hair and because I look like a rock star, people I don't know are always wanting to talk to me an photograph me..........Having such a depressed childhood I could never imagined that things could have changed like this........Sooooooooo Keep your head up and never stop trying.....Good Luck

Answer 7

I know what you mean.

I'm 13 years old and I feel the same way!

Some days I feel like I should just die.

But then I think of my animals and the people I care about.

And some of the very few happy moments I've had in my life.

So whenever you feel like life has dissapointed you, just remember that you are not alone, and that people feel the same way you do, and that you only have one life, so why not take chances and stand out of the croud.

Answer 8

Why focus so much on outward appearances? I'm sure you've heard many people use the old line: "It's the inside that counts." To be honest, I agree with it, but I wouldn't phrase it quite like that.

Try focusing on more important things. Your personality makes up all that you are. Some of the most extraordinary people aren't the most beautiful, but they still go on.

You do not hate yourself. I think you need to embrace what you have, and be thankful. I'm sure you are not an unattractive individual. You just need to bring out the amazing person that's hiding beneath the insecurities.

Answer 9

Hello.. I come cross this story through today tonight show and thought maybe this will help you to have more understanding about yourself. This disease of body dysmorphia have something in common with you.

Good luck! Melanie

Body dysmorphia takes self-loathing to a whole new level.

"Essentially it's people who believe that they are much uglier than they really are, so they have a distortion about how they look," said sufferer, Cara Tattersall.

Jenny Rosenbaum is an artist, yet struggles to see any beauty in herself.

"It was indescribable. I actually would find myself looking in the mirror and hoping to slice off part of my face, or the bits of my skin that stuck out. In big wobbling globs," Jenny said.

Body dysmorphia crippled her emotionally for years. Although now accepting herself, Jenny's got a long way to go.

"I see problem areas," she said.

Some experts believe sufferers have a brain glitch distorting what they see. Up to 90 per cent want plastic surgery and about a third go under the knife.

"I think about plastic surgery every day. I think about how much it would change my life. I know that I probably won't be the same after I get it, but I still want to get it. I feel like I need to. When I'm 18 I definitely will be pursuing that," said Cara.

To you and I, Cara is a pretty 16 year old.

"It's like being trapped inside the mirror really. It's preoccupation every single day, it's every second of the day it's on your mind - the way you look - and can't really enjoy your life or do anything else. It's always there. It's taken over my life, it claims a lot of lives. It's almost claimed mine several times. It's horrible, it's debilitating," Cara said.

It has been her life for the past four years. One day she hopes she'll open her eyes to a new day and it will stop.

About 2 per cent of the population has body dysmorphia - that's 42,000 people fighting a secret, internal battle in their heads everyday.

"I remember one point years ago thinking so be it, this is what I really want, the one thing that I want so bad, I just want to be thin . So if it takes dying to get there, so be it and least I'll get there," said Alisa Williams.

Alisa is divorced with two children. She loves them - hates herself, abusing her body to the point of hospitalisation. Like all sufferers, she is determined to punish a targeted part of her body.

"Sometimes they'll focus on one particular feature; sometimes they will just dislike the whole of their appearance; or sometimes multiple, different parts of their appearance and this distress is so extreme that it dominates the person's life. It becomes an obsession," said Professor Don Jefferies.

"They will undertake their own surgery. They will pick at things, they'll try and modify it with scissors and razors and so on," Professor Jefferies added.

Plastic surgery sometimes helps, but in the quest for perfection, as Professor Jefferies knows , they're never happy with the results.

"That's been shown not to work and in fact in some cases, the individual becomes worse. Its good that in Australia today, plastic surgeons do not undertake plastic surgery for BDD sufferers," Professor Jefferies said.

And while body dysmorphia might be an imaginary problem, the case numbers are real. A Victorian hospital has 70 patients on its books and two new ones every week.

Answer 10

I have depression as well. What I find helps quite a bit is exercise. You wouldn't think so....but it REALLY does. It is hard to get going when you are depressed.......I know, believe me, but if you start to eat healthier, and exercise regularly you will start to feel better about yourself and your body will feel WAY better as well. You will of COURSE still get depressed on some days, maybe sometime everyday, but keeping busy will take your mind off your problems, and this is the key. Sitting and running negative **** through your mind over and over is very counterproductive!! Also if this doesn't do it for you, try some anti-depressants, but NOT illegal drugs. That route will only lead you into worse depression that is VERY difficult to escape from, because you will be so dependent on whatever drug you are using, and it will fog all of your logical sense. I speak from experience, I'm not like a school guidance counselor or something, ha ha I really hope you will try this, and I PRAY that it will work for you.  

Answer 11

For starters, beauty is only skin deep.

True beauty comes from the inside, and right now, you seem to be lacking beauty on the inside.

Looks aren't everything, even though I am sure you're probably over-reacting.

Answer 12

Everyone that you know hates something about themselves, whether its on their face, their legs, their arms, ... youd know this if you have ever listened to girls talking about themselves.  Guys just pretend to keep cool, but theyre just the same.

Your looks do not determine whether you will make a success of your life or not.  Its your personality and whether you are able to get along with other people that determines that, so why not start working on it.

Answer 13

You just said you don't like your looks. So at least part of the "Why do I hate myself" can be earased. When it comes to teenage era, you're introduced to High School, which means bigger kids who might smoke, drink or try to assume your very judgment of yourself, not to mention so much is expected out of you from your parents. You have so many people around you that you forget about yourself and let them take control, and when you you begin to throw your own interpretation back, it bouts with the one others have given to your personality that when you begin to realize how little you are letting your own truth settle in you begin to deny the future and past truth. You live in the present but the denial can sometimes cause new problems such as self denial in the fact that the way you look for example only matters to others. Do you only not like the way you look because others don't, or because you actually believe that something won't come out of the way you look? In either case, it's not like there's nothing you can do about it. Sadness is the ugliest feature on a face, but its also the component to happiness, and the sooner you understand the sadness the more your happiness will emerge. After all, you can not experience one feeling without experiencing the other.

Answer 14

same times i feel  the same way,

you know,  you are the only person who can make your self happy and sad, no one else. just try to make  things that makes you happy and don't try to look like others ok.

  only  think you are good, nice, passionate person.

you are 16 years old, don't worry may be same part of your body will change, after you grow up a little, trust me.

and choose nice cloth that fits you, ,,,, and so on

i know you will be cool

good luck.