Where is the line between Heterosexuality and Homosexuality?

Question

I consider myself to be heterosexual. However, since I was a young child, I found myself being attracted to females as well as males. However, it was not really in the same way, and for much shorter durations. I'll wonder what it would be like to kiss a female, but never to actually have sexual relations with one. And I don't think about making a lifetime commitment to another woman. But is this what bisexuality is considered to be, or is bisexuality seeing yourself have an equal opportunity with either s*x? I always wondered if this meant I was bisexual or if I just had curiosities about something which was (and still is in a way) taboo. Where do you guys think they line is?

I don't want any answers about religion or telling me Homosexuals are evil people who will burn in h**l. Honest, respectful and thoughtful responses only please, thank you.

Answer 1

There isn't a line, there's a continuum. People are all over the place on it.

To me, you sound more bi than anything.

I wondr why you didn't post this to the GLBT category.

Answer 2

I like to think of this line as a spectrum rather than polar opposites. Most people fall somewhere in the grey zone and few actually find themselves at either end of these supposed binary opposites.

Sexual orientation and identity can be based on three factors:

1. Behaviour

2. Desires

3. Identity

All three do not have to converge. Here's how I deconstruct my own identity. I hope this will help you figure out where you fall.

1. My behaviour. I am currently monogamously involved with a cisgendered male in a heterosexual long-term committed relationship. I have every intent to pursue this until things don't work out between us. In the past, I have followed a similar pattern. As a child, I had a close female friend with whom I experimented sexually. As a teen, I've been known to publicly grab a friend's b*****s (with her consent of course) and let her do the same to me, just for fun. I found it arousing. I enjoy engaging in meaningful emotional connections with women, but do not engage with them as sexual partners at this moment in my life, nor do I intend to be involved in romantic relationships with them. I have had crushes on female friends.

2. My desires. I fantasize about women much more than I fantasize about men. I watched heterosexual and L*****n p**n and enjoy both for different reasons. My bf and I have both fantasized about him watching me with another woman. I love beautiful women (and not so beautiful women) and my bf has caught me checking women out in public places inadvertently. I would qualify that as far as desires go, I don't have a gender preference, and have even been sexually attracted to some of my transgendered friends.

3. My identity. As a child, not understanding the subtleties and complexities of sexual identity, I often considered myself heterosexual and my sexual experimentation with my close friend as practice. As I grew up I began to think of it as a manifestation for a strong desire for women, and thought of myself as bicurious or even bisexual. Most people assume I am heterosexual because I am in a heterosexual relationship. People who know me better may think of me as bicurious or bisexual. However, I find that the label bisexual reinforces notions of gender binaries, which I do not believe in. I am attracted to, and have the potential to be attracted to, any person, regardless of their gender identity. I also have engaged in polyamory in the past, and though I am in a committed monogamous relationship at the moment, I am also open to other arrangements. I consider myself polysexual or pansexual as a result.

As for the taboos associated with bisexualities, there are many. Many people will think of a bisexual person as sitting on the fence, confused, or going through a phase. Heterosexist people will use it to discount GLBTT2QQ rights (thats right!). I've felt that I don't fit in with heterosexual people because I don't believe in the same dichotomy of gender identities and gender roles and sexual orientation. I have also felt that I don't even fit in with some GLBTT2QQ groups because I feel that I'm not considered really GLBTT2QQ since I am currently in a heterosexual arrangement. I've felt that I cannot express and should be careful about where and to whom I express my sexual identity and sexual orientation.

Hope that helps give you some insight. Enjoy your sexuality.

Answer 3

There is no single line between g*y and straight.  The vast majority of people are bisexual.  

Sexuality is a continuum with g*y at one end and straight at the other and  bisexuality in the middle.  Even if you never have a sexual relationship with another woman the fact that you find attraction in other women is an indicator of your bisexuality.

Answer 4

Well I think there is a difference between appreciating beauty  and being sexually attracted to a person.  I think many can agree when a person is simply a beautiful person, even when they are the same s*x.  However just because you find this person beautiful does not mean you are sexually attracted to them....just like when you think a flower, skyscape or painting is beautiful you are not sexually attracted to them.

Answer 5

Wherever you'd like it to be! Many people see sexual orientation as a spectrum, with heterosexuality and homosexuality as the extremes. In between that, there's every possible combination of attraction.

Bisexuality can be emotional or sexual attraction, and it doesn't have to be 50/50. It's been suggested that women have a bisexual arousal pattern, regardless of their orientation, and it's possible to appreciate female beauty without any sexual feelings.

In time, you may become more certain about your orientation, but don't feel under pressure to label yourself. You may simply be "heteroflexible" - mainly attracted to men, but open the possibility of dating a woman.

Hope that helps!

Answer 6

Some people are just greedy, they need to get off the fence and pick a hole.

To answer your questions, feminists are usually very gender-confused. Thats your line.

Answer 7

There is no line. Think of it as a scale from 1 to 10 with one being straight and 10 being g*y. You're probably a 2! Now go and add as many numbers inbetween as you like.

Answer 8

I think we all have curiosity, it all depends on how you act upon them. I know how you feel about it though. I consider myself a heterosexual male but I sometimes have fantasy of what it would be like to be with another man. I don't think it necessarily makes me a homosexual, I just think its plain curiosity. Its perfectly healthy.

Answer 9

Bi-curious.