Where is the line between not being a people pleaser and being mean?

Question

Where is the line between not being a people pleaser and being mean?

Answer 1

You need to focus on you and not care about others. Then you learn that you help yourself by helping others. Only help others in the way that you want to. You do it to help yourself. See this site that is all about that and being extremely happy. http://morehappiness.notlong.com

Answer 2

Not being a people pleaser is when you tell people to F**k off.

Being mean is slapping the happy c rap out of their mother for having them.

Answer 3

I don't really know because to me that seems like they are two very different things.

Being a people pleaser means that you only achieve " happiness " from making other people happy or that you will sacrifice your own happiness to make other people happy, therefore letting people walk all over you. If you're not one of those people, that is a good thing.

If you are mean, you're just mean and you don't like people so you won't do anything for them because that requires something from you.

Answer 4

Being mean is hurting someone's feelings. Being a people pleaser is just going along with everyone else and not taking up for yourself.

Answer 5

I am a people pleaser by nature... I am working on it but I too am afraid of "being mean" but what helps me is realizing that doing everything for everyone drains me and encourages their bad behavior.  So, I effectively was stunting their growth as people.  Realizing that being untrue to myself actually HURTS them and makes them fall behind spiritually is a big motivator.  Setting limits and boundaries is actually a compassionate kind thing to do, although it sometimes feels like you are being mean, you are not.  Being mean includes intent to do harm.  Setting boundaries gives people an opportunity to be better people by not taking advantage of you.