Where is the young woman who was told to kill herself?

Question

At first, I assumed, as I'm sure most of us did, that the claim a young pregnant woman came here and was told to "kill herself" and thus became suicidal as a result was just wild ranting, but now that it's being referred to repeatedly in adoption questions that have no connection to this original claim, I think maybe we need to make sure it isn't true. Because if it is, that's a serious criminal issue that needs to be addressed.

Is that young woman still reading Y!A? Can she come forward and let us know what was said to her, and what help she needs to get back on track? There are suicide hotlines and free therapy options available almost anywhere. Having an unwanted pregnancy is difficult enough without being threatened and harassed by a stranger.

Answer 1

If someone actually did suggest that an overwhelmed, scared and alone pregnant teenager kill herself then I will be the first to put on the gloves and go to bat for her. I have been there.

However I have not seen any proof of this. All I have seen is the topic brought up again and again. People ARE outraged at this kind of behavior but without being able to see that someone was callous enough to do it the idea seems far fetched.

As far as being pushed to the brink of suicide over a post on a message board... well to be honest there would have to be some major stressors before the post was made. People who are suicidal are not pushed to it in a heartbeat. That doesn't excuse the negative email sent to her. This young woman obviously needs to be seen by a professional who is able to asses her mental state.

On a side note the vast majority of people who announce suicidal ideation are reaching out for help. People who want to die act on it and rarely announce their intentions, suicide notes and the like are not nearly as common as people think. To anyone who helps a person when they are suicidal it is a commendable action to take. Yet I can not stress enough that these people need medical intervention, not a random stranger on a chat or message board. Medication, therapy and often a hospital stay are the only things that will reverse the ideation itself.

Answer 2

She wouldn't come back in here ever. I'll never tell you her name. That's the last thing she needs are more ugly and threatening emails. She is despondent. My friends and I are helping her. Her family is distraught about this. Yes, it's serious, but you are the first one to take it as such, other than my contacts and friends. Like I said, I shall hold those people accountable and have given their user names to her doctor and family, in case anything further happens. That is why I've stayed in here and put up with this nightmarish gang so I can hopefully prevent them from ever doing this again to anyone. If yahoo won't do something, someone has to. My conscience will not allow me to let these trolls harm and damage one more young girl's life. If you are serious, then I appreciate your concern and will pass it on.

PS: the one above me is one of the gang who'll be held accountable.

Tre & Healing: This was so cruel. It's amazing that so many are denying this when almost the whole group jumped on this poor child and told her to kill the baby and while she was at it, kill herself too. It was like witnessing a school of sharks attacking her. I don't know if they thought she was a troll, like themselves, or what, but she wasn't; just a young girl who is pregnant, asked for some advice and support and this is what she got from them. But I have seen them do much the same to other newcomers, but most have been equipped to stand up for themselves and/or move to another forum. Yes, I am furious, outraged and nauseated with this group and what they've said to her. Yes, I feel justified in calling them n***s and should've been sterilized at birth, and yes, I lowered my self down to their level because of my outrage over the damage they caused and are continuing to cause.

Half of them are right here on this thread, passing the buck and feigning their innocence. They know they did this. Healing, if you thought I made you cry, you can't imagine the tears she, her family, me and our friends have cried over this and the trauma they have caused us.

I don't know what the big uproar is all of a sudden. No one cared about the victim when I told you this more than two weeks ago, unless it's because BPD is on to them and has taken this matter and this war in here to the Yahoo authorities.

I see just a big group of cowards who are trying desperately to cover their tracks because they've finally been busted.

Marsha, you needn't worry about yourself.

Concerned: she is in the care of a doctor, we called the hotline together.

Oh and someone in here, let me guess, duh, is giving you the thumbs down and it isn't me. I wanted to see who could possibly honest in here so I haven't voted in this one.

Gershom, you are a flat out liar. I've never changed the age of my child. Maybe you can't do simple math. I adopted her when she was 7 months old and today she is 8 years old. I demand proof of what you just said about me. No, I'm not the slandering troll in here. It is time the guilty gang members step up to the plate and accept responsibility for what you've done, AGAIN!

Tish the reason you can't see it is because one of you filed a false violation on her and some of the other posters that day, including myself, and then yahoo deleted it.

Red: please read my entire post and you will see "why I'm still here?".

HEALING: Joy has "asked" another one of her baited questions and heather's now saying that you said I had pushed you to the brink of suicide and then said I did some fast backtracking and apologizing. I have to go get my daughter from school. If you can't show them your question, I'll have to, but it will have to be late tonight after she's gone to bed. This is all way out of control. I agree. It seems like whenever you or I make a suggestion, it gets worse in here.

Answer 3

I think another poster here said she received that message in an e-mail.

Hopefully, if this is true, this person had the good sense to report it to Yahoo.

Answer 4

I would like to know (a) who the girl is who was (allegedly) told to kill herself; (b) who the "gang" is that told the girl to kill herself.

Seriously noodles, honestly asking here, are you saying that more than one person told her to commit suicide?

If so (or even if it was ONE person who told her), I would sincerely like to know who said such thing. I work in mental health, and that is horrifying to me.

Honestly asking,

Concerned

Answer 5

First off none of the questions I have read since I have been have even come close to suggesting anyone commit suicide.

If there was someone here who was told that (oh in an e-mail say?) they should have reported it to Yahoo and had it investigated. This is a very serious accusation to make against anyone.

noodles you seriously need to get some help. You lie and fabricate things on a daily basis. You are angry that we are here speaking the truth of our own experiences and trying to educate others. Further you don't speak for every adoptive parent or every adoptee. I know for certain you don't speak for mothers.. ( I refuse to qualify what I am anymore, I am a mother who lost her child end of story) You are rude, mean spiteful, mean spirited and I pity your child when she starts asking the hard questions, that you won't be prepared to answer! You are arrogant beyone belief and think that anyone who disagrees with you is wrong and a nut. You keep prating on how all of us "anti-adoption" zealots tell people all these horrible things, yet I have yet to see a single one of us act as you describe. Get over yourself, and start naming names if all of what you say is true why then you won't have a problem with posting those names and links to said horrible things we have said will you?

If this young woman was indeed told those things I want a name, if she is really suicidal I want a name, and I want to know where she lives so I Can report to the proper authorities. Don't tell me you are helping and "your friends" are helping prove it.

Gershom well said! Sunny also well said!

So now having said my thing go ahead and keep on saying those nasty things and perhaps one day you will reap what you sow!

Answer 6

I don't believe it for one second. None of that happened. Noodless is off her noddle. Shes making up stuff as it comes and she has been for quite some time. The only troll here is noodles. She rants, raves, harrasses, insults etc. etc. If you look up unstable in the dictionary, me thinks there'd be a picture of noodlesmycat.  Her childs age changes in her posts, her story changes, her facts...aren't facts and her posts are full of insults daily. I'm surprized that yahoo hasn't suspended her account.

I take nothing she says seriously, and I don't believe that ANYONE here should.

Answer 7

Its a complete lie.  First off, what is a doctor going to do with a bunch of screen names?  Second,  I know the people who post in here regularly and they would never say such a thing to a scared,  unwed mom.  Third, noodles is desperate (as I'm SURE  you've noticed) to get someone to believe her.  Shes out of her bloody  mind and is willing to make up anything to get people to listen to her.  

If anyone has been crying over yahoo answers, then they need to GET OFF.  There is no reason to stay and subject yourself to that if you really can't handle it.  And noodles, you are apparently mentally unstable and perhaps this is not the right or best place for you.

Answer 8

It's a complete and total lie.

Answer 9

I would like to know that, because if it is happening then i'm very concerned for her well being. That would be awful if someone is doing that.

Answer 10

So, noodlesmycat, who are all these people (plural)?  Let's see the proof.  It's time to put up or shut up.  If you want to name people, I would hope you have some proof.

I worry about any suicidal person.

This is completely serious.  If you have a real accusation to make, make it.  I want to know everyone you are referring to.  Let's get this out in the open.  This is a very, very serious accusation.  The way you throw it around in this vague way is really harmful to a lot of people on here who aren't sure whether they are your target.  (And, I would guess, is harmful those people you do intend to target, in as much as I am skeptical of your claim without even a shred of proof.)

Added:  It was never my intent to continue a baseless accusation.  I apologize for my recklessness.  Seriously.  This whole accusation is clearly bull****, and it distresses me greatly that noodlesmycat continues to get away with this defamation.  

This whole thing has gone way too far.  If noodlesmycat needs to continue attack everyone and anyone outside of a small group of people, this whole site will never recover.  

I'm ashamed to have made it sound like I thought her false accusation had even a speck of truth to it.

Answer 11

i wouldn't put much credence in what "noodles" says. i haven't been here long, but i don't think there's anyone here that would do that. not EVERYONE, wether we agree with their position or not, is not spewing out vile and vicious junk. there is some justifiable anger and points trying to be made, but not like "noodles" claims. i really don't understand why she even posts here if she is so happy. i don't see that she's here to gain any knowledge or understanding. i have had contact with people who i just couldn't understand where they were coming from, and they have been very kind and helped me understand their positions.

i am a first mom, who came here to try and find others like me. i am in alot of pain and would like to have a support system. i also feel like other women / girls need to understand that "open" adoption is rarely what it claims. the law isn't on our side. i've been told that the attorney should have written it in the contract. it doesn't matter, you can write anything you want into a contract, but the law supercedes a bogus contract. i really don't know how to get the papers or what they said. i couldn't afford an attorney... i had been shunned by my family. my support group were the friends and families of the AP's. i BELIEVED them. i KNEW them. i thought. i was vulnerable. i wasn't taken aside privately by social services, as required by law to speak to me privately and ask me if i was ok with this. i had NO ONE to talk to and i was in a position where i couldn't reach out for help. i was isolated. no one came forth and said, here are some options.... did you know you could get child support? and all the other stuff. i was completely clueless. i came from an affluent family and didn't know anything about "the system". i didn't know that even though it would be tough, there were ways to keep my daughter and make it.

people go to the hospital when they are sick. people go to church when they need spiritual uplifting. people come here to gain insight, knowledge, or help. if you have the perfect life and all is great, why are you here? why are you mad at the ones trying to work through their process? i am fine with my health, so i don't go to the health section. i am fine with my spirituality, so i don't go to R&S.

NOODLES, my question to you, is "why are you here?" what answers are you looking for? what are your questions? i mean this in the most sincere way. you come across as angry, the angriest poster i've seen. i think you must be hurting about something. what is it? help us understand?

Answer 12

Wow this is really out of control. I never thought it would get THIS bad espically on this section. I am also hearing this is a lie which is sick if it is just a joke. I also want to see proof because this is something you don't play around with.

Answer 13

I never saw this question posted, but no one should ever tell someone to kill themselves. That's horrible!

Answer 14

first, to suggest that a young pregnant and scared woman commit suicide is beyond immature and callous.  ironcially, i have yet to actually see this post that's so often referenced.  

anyway, i can't really offer a intelligent, salient comment on a lot of what's been written in the comments.  but thanks for the 2 points anyway!

sterilized at birth for having an opposing viewpoint??? i quit!!!

Answer 15

I'd also love to know who would say such horrible horrible things to someone. I hope this girl is getting the help she needs and is never subjected to that kind of cruelty again, if it did in fact happen.

I would also seriously love to know who "this gang" is. Am I one of them? I know my name was put on a list awhile back of 'anti adoption haters' even though I am not anti adoption, and I've been blocked by several people even though I've never been hateful to anyone here.

All of this is giving me a huge headache. I don't want to be part of this back and forth stuff anymore. Can someone for the love of all that is good just come out and tell me without being vague or secretive or "I know but I'm not tellin' or "if you don't know I'm not telling you"  just exactly who the people saying all the evil stuff is and why I'm being lumped in with them? I've got 5 kids (two of whom are adopted! *GASP*), a business, and a life thats quite full of enough stress that I need to deal with without adding not knowing if I'm somehow being accused of telling a pregnant woman to kill herself or not. And, if I am, I'd love to know how I can be accused of saying women should always keep their children, no matter what, and that I hate adoption under all circumstances and then be accused of telling someone they should kill themselves which would mean their child would have to be raised by another woman? That doesn't make any sense. Wouldn't I have wanted her to be alive to raise her child? Or if I wanted her dead wouldn't that mean I thought the child was better off adopted than with its mother? It all makes my head hurt.

If anything I've ever said here has hurt someone, especially to the point that they are contemplating suicide over it, you're free to email me so I can apologize to you. Or email me and let me know and pass it along to whomever it was that was so hurt.

Yes, some of us disagree at times...this is the adoption section, you wouldn't expect us all to always agree would you? I don't always even agree with my own family, much less strangers in an emotionally charged section of Y!A.

So, here you go. If you have a problem with me or something I've said, or if I've hurt you, go ahead and out me. Copy and paste whatever it is I did and lets get it all out here. If not, then stop grouping me with whoever did do it.

Answer 16

I don't believe it ever happened, the source is Noodlesmycat who routinely posts slanderous and outrageous, nonesensial posts.

I do not believe she is in touch with the girls doctor, she is full of bile and rage and out of control, she will say anything to get someone to believe her point, but is completely unclear on what her point is, or if she has one.

To make such a vile claim about other people is unconscionable, but that is her forte.