Where may I meet birth mom's wanting to place their baby for adoption?

Question

My husband and I would like to raise and love a child together and feel adopting a child would allow us to do so. However, I am unsure where to connect with a birth mom wanting to place her child. All the agencies seem to have very high price tags attached to matching and we aren't completely convinced that the birth mom is really getting the assistance she may need from these agencies. We are just begining, so any advice is appreciated.

Answer 1

please ignore idiots.try advertising in your local newspaper or others in another state.have a lawyer advise you and help you.good luck

Answer 2

oh me me!  pick me!  obviously are far more deserving of my baby that I am

Kidding

You won't have any trouble finding a child to raise and love - there are thousands of them waiting in foster care right now!  You want to give a home to a child who REALLY needs one, right?  hope so

Answer 3

There are no birthmoms here.....please do not look for a child over the internet. You have to go through an agency.

This forum is just to discuss adoption and adoption reform.

Answer 4

I'm a birth mom and I flipped through the yellow pages looking for an abortion, but chose adoption instead after i talked on the phone with the abortion place. They seemed to talk in monotone and with no feeling. I figured, how can I be happy going there when the workers seem to hate their jobs. I found a local adoption agency and called. She sounded so chipper. So I made the most difficult and unselfish decision in my life.

ps,i t was totally worth it.

Answer 5

WOW i don't know why everyone is being so rude.

anyways, i'm a birthmom and the first place i went to was the yellow pages to find an agency.  I'm guessing that's what most of us do.  I know it's expensive to adopt, which blows my mind bc my family/lawyer hasn't given me any help financially so i tend to wonder where the money goes.

I had talked to me lawyer about adoptions headed by the state.  Its a lot cheaper but a lot more goes into it like having to take parenting classes and such I think.  But you know, every state is different.  I'd check up on some support sites for birthmoms/adoptions.  Ask some of them.  As a birthmom, I only want the best for my baby and somewhat regret going to an agency.  BUT I do like the parents i ahve chosen so no regrets for me.

Good luck-I admire people who adopt, especially in the situation I am in.  I am sorry if you are received poorly; I know I have been.

Answer 6

Try calling your local DHS.  There are thousands of children waiting in foster care for homes, and in most states, there is no cost.

Soliciting for a pregnant woman so that you can take her baby is illegal.  If you absolutely must have an infant, please reconsider adopting.  Children are human beings, not to be bought and sold.  Most infants do not need to be adopted.  Most infants could be raised by their mother if the mother had just a little support.  Children in foster care, however, need homes.

Please do a LOT more research on adoption before starting the process.  Stick around here for awhile, read some old posts, listen and learn.  There's a whole world out there that you don't hear about from the general public.  Adoption is not the sunshine and roses insititution it has been marketed as.

Answer 7

I understand that you stumbled upon this site to get information and I'm sorry for the rude answers you're getting. Obviously this is not where you want to be.

There are birth mothers wanting to adopt. Good luck with your search.

Answer 8

My advice.....work with an agency.  There are lots out there offering a variety of services at a variety of prices.  Your ad here is not the way to start this important process. Good luck.

Answer 9

i'd go through your local childrens aid society ifs free although it can take up to 2 year to be finalized its well worth it i have 2 yr old twins from my local cas

Answer 10

I am sorry people are being so rude.  I do not know much about the process, but perhaps this source will help: http://www.adoption.org/adopt/private-ad...

Good luck.  You are doing a wonderful thing.  :)

P.S.- Please consider adopting an older child as well. They need loving homes  just as much as infants do.

Answer 11

sorry i havent got any answers for you but i just want to say that i think this is a wonderful thing you and your partner are doing and i hope you will ignore the ignorant people on hear that can't seen to understand your question.

May i also say that i can't beleive how much it coats to adopt in America i live in the uk and have 5 adopted cousins and it cost no more than the legal fees which were reduced price and some of them cost nothing as social services paid for this, i think its disgusting that they want you to pay to do such a wonderful thing i understand that you have to pay for your medical care in america so i understand that adoptive parents usually fit the bill for the birth but where does the rest go?  surley it would be better off used to care for the child?

Answer 12

That price does seem high.  I adopted through an agency for $13K.

Answer 13

This is soooo not the place for you.

You can bet money that some anti-adoption people will get your question deleted and have you reported as a violator.

You should contact a local agency, adoption is very expensive.  

Don't let anyone make you feel badly for wanting to raise a baby.  There are a lot of children out there in need of a home.  Wanting a child does not make you a bad person.

Being mean and hurtful because you have had a bad experience does.

Trust me, get off this site.

Answer 14

okay so as an adoptee I can tell you I am not offended.  I am sorry people are being so rude.  You could try contacting an adoption attorney.  My parents did my adoption through an attorney.  I have NO idea if this is any easier or less expensive as I know nothing about the cost. I wish you the best of luck.  I would also probably not suggest using yahoo answers for this type of thing only because there are a lot of anti-adoption people from what I have seen on this site.  Good luck!

Answer 15

Well there is probably a way to do it cheaper. Chinese people are cheap adopt one from there. probabaly only 10 for trip and baby.  Or find someone who doesnt want there child and with a bunch of singed pappers they can transfer custody to you. I hope you get what you want.

Answer 16

Why is everyone being hateful?  Because this board has been taken over by hateful people.with personal agendas to abolish adoption and put down anyone who doesn't think the same way.  I'm sorry.....you came here like so many people do, with legitimate questions, new to adoption, needing information.  This is no longer the place to come for answers.  This is a board for tough, solid posters who have their feet firmly planted on the ground, have tough skin and know exactly how they feel about each aspect of adoption and are able to defend that.  Sad but true.

I suggest that you join some forums for people who genuinely want to learn and share about all aspects of adoption.  Try the forums listed on abcadoptions.com or adoption.org.  I hope to god that these forums are not taken over like this one was.

FYI, the children are not what cost at an agency -- it is the adoption fee for services provided to many other clients other than the birthmother of the child you adopt.  Did you know that agencies can fight 2 year court battles to keep a child with an adoptive family after a birthmother suddenly changes her mind about adoption after a year with no contact?  Did you know that agencies advocate in court for the birthmother and adoptive parents for months or years when a birthfather who never supported the mother during the pregnancy, has been in prison twice and lives with his parents - decides he wants this baby he never has seen?  Did you know that agencies pay for any birthmother's expenses including housing, groceries, utilities, clothing, etc, for the full 9 months and she may decide to parent her baby after delivery, owing the agency nothing?  And what about the outreach that good agencies do to help women and children in their communities -- providing emergency housing, diapers, formula and clothing to any woman in need in their community?  The fees cover so much, not just the one case in which you are involved.  Do some agencies charge to much?  Sure.  Do some charge enough?  Some small agencies barely get by. Do your homework and research agencies by joining legitimate adoption forums and talking with people about their personal experiences with specific agencies.  Agencies are where you will find opportunities to interact with birthmothers who have been counseled regarding their parenting options, educated about the adoption process, and have sought out the services that the agency provides.

Answer 17

everyone always assumes that a question like this..is soliciting babies...not everyone has bad intentions...so whether you're for or against adoption...that is your opinion...but if you're so much for certain changes in the adoption world...then why not gear people in the right direction of a good agency and educate them with your knowledge...instead of lashing out and being insulting...adoption has been here many many years...and it will remain here...this is a fact:people tend to listen more when you're not hateful.....stop being hypocrites and judgemental

for those who keep using the YA TOS...read them again...I have seen many of you break the TOS!!!!

Answer 18

Let's not forget the father of the child or you could be in court for years to come and still never adopt the child or better you might get sued for your actions. This does happen because my son is going through this with a couple who had no care on his feeling of wanting to raise his child and now they are wondering why their getting sued.

Answer 19

FYI  - a pregnant woman is an expecting mother - not a "birth" mom.  A "birth" mom is a woman who has signed relinquishment papers and had her parental rights terminated.  It is coercive to call an expectant mother a "birth" mom.  She could well change her mind after her baby is born and decide to parent her child.

FYI - An increasing number of mothers who have relinquished their children find the "birth" terms extremely offensive.  First mother of natural mother is more accurate.

FYI - People who avoid agencies and troll the Internet for babies are highly suspect of wanting to take shortcuts and violate the parental rights of the natural parents.

Find a agency with a sliding scale based on income.

Answer 20

Don't worry about the people who are being rude.These people are narrow minded and don't know the first thing about this subject...Like "AMY" that left you a poor answer.I was adopted by an Australian couple when i was a baby, from Thailand and i think that is wonderful you want to adopt.You will get people who want to help put you in the right direction.You ARE NOT soliciting and you are not trolling for babies! Some of you need to GROW UP>...Good luck and i hope your dream comes true...

Answer 21

Guys, she's asking HOW to connect with people, not trying to use yahoo to do so!

They have some private sites for this...I'll look around online and see if I can find any for you. Believe it or not, SOME birth moms don't trust the agencies either.

Answer 22

Freecat before you begin any type of adoption search, I'd beg you to educate yourself fully on adoption. I'd also suggest that you make this an independent education and not rely on any information provided to you by any adoption agency or professional. They have a vested interest in keeping potential adoptive parents in the dark.

The first thing to keep in mind is that many people find the term 'birth mom' offensive. It's a very emotionally violent and stereotypically sexist term that implies a woman is just a uterus and only provides a service for (usually richer) married couples.

Even among people who don't find the term 'birthmom' offensive, most agree that a woman is an expectant mother until she gives birth, a mother after she has given birth, and the term 'birthmom' only is valid AFTER an adoption is final.

I'd suggest at the very least, these links as a way to begin to understand the lifetime issues of being an adoptive parent:

http://www.nancyverrier.com/par_notes.ph...

http://www.childwelfare.gov/adoption/

http://www.pear-now.org/

http://www.ethicanet.org/

http://www.informedadoptions.com/

http://www.adoptioninstitute.org/publica...