Where to find birthmoms?

Question

hi EVERYONE. Hubby and I are trying to adopt a son. We have 2 girls, and well, we know being gender specific could pose some issues and delays. Anyone know where we might find and or network with potential B moms without getting banned or booted from the group?

Answer 1

I am an adoptive mother of two children now.  Our daughter came into our lives in 2003 and our son on 7-7-7!!  With our first adoption we used an agency, with our second we went private.  We went on Parentprofiles.com and that was very hard, you get the good and the bad.   We went through two failed adoptions; one was a scam.  So we prayed a lot and one day came across a posting from an agency looking for someone to adopt a baby to be born in two weeks.  Within a couple days we were interviewed and then chosen to adopt our son.  There are many bmom's out there that know the s*x of their baby so for you to ask for a boy will not be a problem unless it is a problem with the bmom's.  My suggestion though would be to go through an agency because it is much, much easier on you.  My suggestion would be to use "adoption advertising".  This is who we used with our son and they were great and not very expensive at all.  I think their website is www.adoptionadvertising.org.

Good luck!

Deanna

Answer 2

Are you able to put an ad in the personal section of a newspaper or magazine. I did find a link that might be useful. Good luck.

Answer 3

I would adopt an older child one that is a boy perhaps 4, 5, 6, or 7 years old they also need a loving home and babies are in high demand...

Answer 4

A few options for you are finding an adoption lawyer, who has connections to other adoption lawyers in the US.  My DH and I were contacted by birthparents through this route and now we have an adorable little girl.  

You can also place your profile on www.parentprofiles.com.  before they post your birth mom letter and profile, you must have a completed homestudy.

The best option is to basically tell everyone you know that you want to adopt.  Send a mass email out to everyone in your address book and ask them to forward it on as well.  I've read that the majority of adoptive parents connect with birth moms this way.

I know in some answers you got some flack about wanting to adopt a boy only.  But that is strictly your choice and until someone is in your shoes they shouldn't make such harsh judgements.  This really happens all the time, I have even seen someone requested a blonde haired, blue eyed girl.  A bit much but its their choice.  And if you are only interested in a certain race or certain mix races the same applies.  But you have to remember that the  more specific you are, the longer your wait will be.  

Good Luck...its a long journey, but really rewarding.

Answer 5

Be thankful for the two children you have. There are many people out there that are wanting to adopt and can't have children - people like me. Being gender specific seems so horrible to me. But I guess that's just my biased opinion since I can't biologically have a girl or boy either one.

To answer your question, I haven't come in contact with any certain ones where you pick your gender. I'm sure there's some out there but i'm not aware of them because that's not a concern i've been checking out recently.

My husband and I are going to adopt a boy or girl child through foster care system. As long as we become parents i'll be happy =)

Answer 6

Networking.  If you have the money, place ads.  If not, just keep telling people everywhere.  Get to know someone in social services, lawyers, etc.  If it is God's will that you should share the love of your family with a child who needs it, it will happen.  Good "luck."

Answer 7

I think the main ethical concern with networking directly with an expectant mother is that WHETHER YOU MEAN TO OR NOT, you will be affecting the outcome of whether she carries through with an adoption.

Before an expectant mom chooses adoption, she needs to be counselled by NON-ADOPTION RELATED counselors who will counsel her about all the available parenting resources in the area, as well as give her courage to see her strength and work through her issues toward succesful parenting, rather than being encouraged to feed into her fears of not being as good as a potential adoptive family.

There IS a child out there, no doubt a boy, who really needs a home and I have no doubt that you will connect with him! The best thing to do is to network through an agency, or go through the county and adopt from foster care where it will cost much less.

Answer 8

I went through foster care and I said I only wanted to foster to adopted and I wanted a boy infant to 3 1/2 years old and I was VERY lucky I ended up with a baby boy just out of the hospital and he is the love of my life.  Good Luck!

Answer 9

You could do a Google search or look in your phone book for a adoption agency, even hire an adoption attorney. As far as specify s*x I don’t think its that big of a deal people are allowed to say what race they prefer, I don’t see why it would be different over gender.

I found this Agency they work in all 50 states and do private placement adoption, specialize in domestic infant adoption

http://www.adoptionadvantage.com/index.h...

This site will help people find an adoption agency.

http://www.adoptachild.org/

Answer 10

thats discusting. seriously, you should be banned just for asking this question. If thats not preying out for a baby, i don't know what is.

ugh! so sick of people like this!

Answer 11

Not sure at all what you mean by not getting banned or booted by the group --

But of course, there are MANY agencies who will allow you to specify gender.  

Privately you can network at all the normal places -- doctor, church, adoption attorney, friends and family.

Good luck!

Answer 12

We are also in the process of adopting a baby in the US.  Dont listen to those that are ignorant with private adoption.  It is usually the case that they themselves have issues regarding their own adoption.  

So if you plan to advertise online just be prepared for the rude and ignorant people that have nothing better to do than to insult those of us who want to give a baby a better life than to see them end up in the foster care system.  

You can get your own webpage and domain (through Yahoo).  It is just a small cost for the domain name.  Once you get that up you can put an ad in the papers (but the paper will need your attorney's consent).  You can even put something on myspace.com if yo uwould like.  good luck

Answer 13

I was the birth mom in a private adoption and the lady who hooked me and the parents up approached me at my work and asked what i planned to do with the baby since i looked so young i guess.  It just took off from there, we exchanged numbers and then hooked up with the potential parents and i decided they were okay so we just went ahead with the adoption.

Answer 14

u answered my ? about adopting siblings if you reread the ? i said onlder children i said it like 3 times im agenst adopting babys i would only adopt children teens you know kids who realy dont have a chance every baby will get adopted but not the kids im all with you on that one but is it harder to adopt children or teenagers or siblings

Answer 15

Contact an attorney (it's best to have one anyway when going through the process) and ask him/her what your state allows for finding birth parents.