Which author would you like to remove from existence so you can take credit for their books? And why?

Question

I am personally going with Haruki Murakami. I've never read another writer who sounds quite like him, so much so that his writing style is nearly indescribable. Every sentence is so beautifully constructed, and conceptually he is light years ahead of most. I fell in love after "The Wind-up Bird Chronicles" and, if that wasn't enough, "Dance, Dance, Dance". I think everyone should be reading his wistful and poetic stories of alienation, dreams and discovery of self.

Honorable mentions are Margaret Atwood, for her strong and realistic portrayals of women which are not often found in contemporary literature; John Steinbeck, as everything he writes just sounds so d**n pretty; and J K Rowling based purely on capitalism and the realisation that i would able to afford a slave to peel grapes if i so chose.

How about yourself?

Answer 1

Truman Capote and C. S. Lewis tie for first.  Honorable mentions are JK Rowling and Madeleine L'engle.

Answer 2

Isabel Allende and Zora Neale Hurston because they are such strong, imaginative women who portray women as beautiful creatures but with interesting flaws.

Answer 3

I would never take credit for another persons idea, that's as low as anyone can get. I do wish that I could just die and be reborn as Clive Barker. He is a great writer ( I LOVE Abarat), he is also a fantastic artist. Next on my list would be Stephen King and the third place winner is Dean Koontz.  

Answer 4

Laurell K. Hamilton, because her books are amazing!

Answer 5

I'm gonna go with John Steinbeck. I agree with what you said - everything he writes just sounds so d**n pretty, haha. I've never read anything of his that I didn't like. Also, I love Emily Dickinson's poetry. Not only was she a prolific writer, but the quality of her poems was high. Her poems explore so many different emotions and senses.

I love your reason for choosing J.K. Rowling. I was actually having a conversation similar to that (basically, a talk about money) with my mom earlier tonight. We decided that Anna Nicole Smith wasn't as dumb as everyone said she was - she married an old rich dude, only had to put up with him for a few years (whether she actually loved [or even liked] him or not isn't important, haha), and then got enough of his money to live *very* comfortably (that is, until she died). Pretty unethical, but also pretty ingenious. =)

Answer 6

PLEASE do NOT click on the above link posted by Agatha A!

Answer 7

Ooh, it's all women who have answered so far!

I'd be torn between two, so I'll say both of these: but of course I'd only bother to kill one at a time.

1.  Bryce Courtenay.  I love the way he writes about Australia, and the culture of the people of Australia.  I have just finished reading The Persimmon Tree and have now read most but not yet all of his books.  He also writes with passion about South Africa, a country that I have become interested in primarily through Courtenay's books.  And I loved "Sylvia" which he wrote on the Children's Crusade.  I taught History for a while and I love that kind of thing...I'd be putting nasty things in his tea just to have written than one book.

2.  Morris West.  Similarly for his Australian themes (of a different generation) but also his use of language.  I also love the underlaying religious nature of his work, so much of it set in either Roman Catholic Europe or specifically in and around the Vatican.  I'm not Catholic, (however I am Christian), but again I love the historical aspect to things like "Eminence", and the struggle of religious belief in "The Clowns of God".  But even books like "The Lovers", without the religious bit, are so well written and a pleasant diversion into European cultures that I had not experienced before I read it/them that as with Bryce Courtenay I became interested in new things which I have gone out and discovered for myself.

I'd love to have written these books; but I'm delighted simply to have read them.

Answer 8

I would remove Zane she is amazing I love her books they are like reading a porno with a great plot!