Which costs less? In-Vitro? Or Adoption?

Question

My husband and I are in the military and have so far been unable to conceive.

Adoption has always been my first choice... but I can't figure out how we could ever aford it. It would take years, and we would just be old parents.

I've never really LIKED the idea of in-vitro (Mainly because, why go through so much to bring a child into the world when so many are already here and lacking love and parents, why not help them?!), but if we can't afford to adopt, and if we can't conceive, what other options are there?!

Does the military help with any of it? Or should I just give up any idea of ever becoming a mother?

Thanks

Answer 1

Dear Liberty,

Foster care is a generally ethical program that allows children to be returned to their parents upon their parents completion of necessary steps to make themselves and their homes safe.

Foster-to-adopt children are children who have had one or both of their parents rights terminated or who are legitimately thought to be 'done deals' as far as parental termination. WHile it can happen that a child is  returned, it is unlikely if they are placing the child in a preadoptive home. It is unlikely that you will be placed with an infant through foster care, but not impossible. The more stipulations you place on who you will accept, the longer you will wait. Many children do have behavioral issues, but just as many do not, as it is with all children. The great thing about adoption through foster care is that they will support the child receiving all sorts of medical, physical, and mental support...at their cost. We adopted a 1 year old, what I consider to be a 'baby', through foster care.

Answer 2

Military personnel get special financial breaks. It lists it on all adoption websites under the financial bit.

Answer 3

Adoption doesn't always have to take years.  Our first adoption (international however we lived overseas at the time) took 6 weeks before our daughter was in the house (she was 8 months old at the time).  The the paperwork naturally followed once it was all prepared by the lawyer we were using overseas.  

Our second daughter we had her in the house 5 months after we started the process (she was 4 days old at the time) and she was formally adopted 4 months later.  In her case we went through our local (domestic) foster to adopt program.  She had been seized from the hospital nursery due to her bio mothers long, long history of drug and alcohol abuse.

We tried in-vitro years ago, with no luck.  It sucked the money from us and caused nothing but stress although for others it works fine.  We just learned that, for us, adoption works and it can work for you too if you make some calls, do some research and educate yourself on your options.  

Good luck.

Answer 4

The military will re-emburse you for adoption expenses up to $2,000. I dont know who you talk to as I haven't gotten that far yet. (my husband is in the Navy) there is also a $10,000 tax deduction for adoption. You have several years to use the whole deduction, if your taxes are only $3,000 then you can roll over the other $7,000 till the next year.

We've chosen to do a foster adoption despite the risks. It feels right to us.

Answer 5

I agree, go for a foster kid or adoption because 1) they need it and 2) in-vitro fertilization is really expensive.

Answer 6

If you can't afford to adopt or IVF than how about doing what adoption agencies and ap's recommend to women that are able to give birth...you know...be childless.  Look at the bright side, at least your not having a piece of your soul taken away just so someone else can superficially fill theirs on top of them telling you that you'll learn to forget that you gave birth.

I wouldn't worry about foster care because "most" of the mothers (as some ap's like to deny to themselves to live with the guilt) are not drug addicts nor alcoholics.  

I think if anything your burning desire to have kids will fade after you learn to accept that its not in your cards to have them. I have a friend that chose the animal route and now she trains dogs.  They are her babies.

Good luck and I would suggest getting therapy because I know that it must be tough that you may be infertile. Your not alone, just look at the money being made in the adoption business.

Answer 7

Intro vitro can be cheaper if it is successfully in only a few rounds. You have to pay for each round and typical if insurance will cover any it will only be one or two rounds.  Some couples do it for years and sometimes don’t even get a successfully pregnancy. I read an article of a couple who had been doing IVF for 6 years. That’s going to add up and probably be nearly the cost of an adoption if not more. Literally people have gone into major debt, some even lost their homes. I have always looked that at least in adoption you’re going to get a placement eventually.

If you want to adopt cheaply as others have said adopt through the foster care system. You might consider joining the Fos to adopt. In this program you are only placed with Foster children who have a high probability that they will become available for adoption.  Foster Care should give you classes to take to help you deal with any issues that a foster child might have.

This links might be helpfully to you

http://military.adoption.com/  

http://waiting-children.adoption.com/  

http://www.fosterparenting.com/foster-ca...

Answer 8

In Vitro

I have done 4 times and cost about 5.000 a time -very cheap imo-

Answer 9

If you really want to become a mom you can adopt a child thru foster care. These kids really need permanent homes. Start researching about fostering and adoption now to see if it might be the right fit for you. Often it is very inexpensive to adopt thru foster care.

Answer 10

We are a military family and have adopted three children. We adopted through the state.

The Air Force did, they might still have, a program that will reimburse you for the attorney fees. That program might not  be, limited to the Air Force, it probably includes all branches of the service.

Answer 11

It depends.  Some insurance options do cover infertility treatments.  I don't know if the military (Tricare?) covers it or not.  

Have you been seen by a fertility specialist?  Not everyone requires the most invasive treatments (In-vitro).  There are other, less costly and less invasive options, but you'd need to see a specialist for an evaluation.  

Adoption wise, foster adoption is the least expensive option.  Domestic infant adoption can be very costly.  International adoption costs is variable, depending on the country program, but may run $7K-$40K.  

Please explore all of your options, both on the fertility tx side and the adoption side, before making a decision.  Informed decisions are the best!

Answer 12

IN-VITRO IS NIOT ALWAYS SUCCESFUL THEN ULL HVEE TO PAY AGAIN LOL I SUGGEST BEIN A FOSTER PARENT U DNT MONEY FOR THAT JST A CLEAN HMO PLUS U GET MONEY FORM THE GOV WHEN U FOSTER TO PAY FOR THERE NEEDS MY MOM IS DOIN THT FOR A CHILD NOW THAT IS 3. BUT IF U FOSTER THERE IS A CHANCE U CAN ALSO ADOPT THAT IS THE ROUTE I WOULD TAKE LOOK INTO CONTACT UR LOCAL CPS OFFICE I THINK THATS HOW SHE GOT INTO IT NOT REALLY THAT SURE THOUGH GOOD LUCK

Answer 13

IVF is very costly. Around $12,000+ a cycle. It can sometimes take up to three cycles to be successful.

You should know that there has been a link between children born via IVF procedure and an increased risk for childhood leukemia.

After many attempts at IUI, clomid, injectables and more tests then I can count we stopped all fertility treatments. Two years later we were given custody of a relatives child. Seven years later I find myself pregnant. I am not going to say this will happen to you but what I will tell you is that the pursuit of infertility treatments are sometimes futile. Please before you decide anything you must come to terms with your infertility.

Tricare will not cover IVF.  It does however interestingly enough cover Viagra.

Answer 14

Adoption is cheaper. Because one time cost of adoption may be more than a single cycle of IVF in the U.S. But chances are you will not be successfull with IVF at the first go. Most people make a go for it 3-4 times on an average to succeed. Its like a "luck game" of Russian roulete with IVF. But if you are cleared for adoption its a sure way of bringing your baby home.

Answer 15

There are kids in foster care who are what is called permanent custody.   That means all rights have been terminated so if you adopt them there is no one that will take them from you.  Now if you foster a  child yes that child may go home.

Now to your question it varies on the type of adoption.  Invitro cost like 10,000 a pop most of the time and most insurances don't cover it.   I know someone that did it 5 times with no baby. She got pergnant once but lost it.  If you do a private adoption through an agency depending on the situation you can help pay for moms medical expenses and even living expenses.  That does not allways need to be the case.  Ineternational you have to buy tickets to the country sometimes you need to go twice sometimes you have to stay a week or two so just calculate those expenses in your head.

Foster care adoption is the cheapest

Childern in care are often given  therapy and to assist with  problems  YOu can request age groups like we did 0-3 and we got a 2 day old baby.   You get as much info as they know about the family history but if they went permenant custody already you probbally won't get names etc.    If you foster first you will meet mom at the visitation at the county if you want to go