Which gender has closer friendships, men or women?

Question

I've been debating this for some time now. At first I thought that women had deeper friendships with other women and men had more superficial buddies. It seems that female friends tend to talk about their feelings and the core things in their lives, while male friends tend to talk about superficial and IMO pointless things, games, farts, whatever.

Then I started to notice that men seem to have more of a sense of solidarity. Men are more likely to protect each other and to remain loyal to a friend, for better or worse. Women tend to be more acrimonious and in some ways, competitive, with each other. Yet, on the other hand, men are more physically competitive with each other, but perhaps that physical competition is just a superficial cover for a deeper bond.

I can't know because I am not a man, so I can't subjectively compare. I guess no one can.

What are your thoughts?

Answer 1

I'm not sure I'm the best person who can answer this. I find it hard to form close friendships with anyone. I don't really have female friends. I know women I sometimes talk with but that's pretty much it. I don't really feel the need for more companionship than that.

Answer 2

Men definitely have less drama and conflict in their friendships.  They simply enjoy each others company, talk when they need to talk, and move on with their own lives. While female friendships seem to have the tendency of butting in too much in their friends lives, and don't let them just live and learn.  

Answer 3

Women develop alliances.

Men foster camaraderie.

These sociological developments constitute the levers of our society.

The former draws upon some social-individual necessity.

The latter draws upon the effects of an inflated ego.

In my belief, men can valiantly follow-through upon notional ideals such as honor, courage, camaraderie--and die for each other (you need only look at the relationship men exhibit militaristically).

Women cannot accomplish such a feat. They require security from themselves and, in the natural course of their character, will die for nothing but their offspring.

The Ancient Romans made the assertion, in a somewhat suggestive manner, that the relations between men are far superior than the relations between women (although this carried with it some sexual overtones).

In short, men have a "closer friendship," if those are the words you choose. In my opinion, testosterone has a way of inhibiting rational self-interest. It allows men the ability to live (and die) in the name of some brotherhood.

I think it gives men a greater sense of belonging.

But I could never know unless I was a man and woman at the same time.

Answer 4

There is nothing to debate - because you cannot compare.  

While women fight for EQUALITY, they fight every bit as much to prove that they are not trying to same that they are the SAME as men.  

Answer 5

Us men do because we handle things with a much more instant and less hurtful strategy than backstabbing and manipulation- violence! Once it's done, it's over, and we're mates again!

Bros before hoes (:

Really though, it seems most females (or feminine males) switch "best friends" every other day, while us men keep our right-hand men for most of our lives

Answer 6

My ex-husband was closer to his friends than he ever was me.  I think guy are more loyal to their friends than woman are.  Woman will put their family first before anyone.

Answer 7

as a man i would say women have better/closer relationships,,,

Answer 8

Kudos to ProfessorC for the only anti-essentialist answer of the lot, and clearly one based more on experience than theory or self-justification.  

I could not agree more - "I don't know. But I would say it is individual and not gender based. "

Also - kudos to Ryan for saying the same thing though from a different perspective.

Answer 9

I don't think s*x matters. I think if people have similar personalities they will have tight friendships. Each s*x has different ways of communicating and acting so it is like comparing and apple to an orange.

Answer 10

I'd say men. Women are always gossiping and whispering behind each other's back, always at each others throats for any little reason. Men's friendships with each other may be a lot more simpler than women's, but they tend to be more stronger because they tend not to gossip and such behind each other's back and they can always rely on each other.

Guys are more laid back.

Answer 11

I believe women do. On the average, women are more into relationships that men are.  Men are into conquest.  There can be exceptions, of course.

Answer 12

I think it is BS that men don't gossip.  I have been around my husband and his friends, and all they do is talk about what this one guy did or this other guy did.  All these guys work offshore with each other and they can get as catty with each other as women can.  He can't say that there is anyone that he has been friends with for a long period of time where I have a friend that I have been friends with for 20 years and a couple of others for almost the same amount of time.  It just depends on the individual person and how they connect with other people.

Answer 13

I don't know.  But I would say it is individual and not gender based.  

I have best friend that I have known for 50 years- we were born in the same hospital and started kindergarten together.   After high school our lives took much different paths.   But for our 50 years of friendship I took her on a cruise.   She had never been over a few hundred miles from home.   Regardless of where our lives went we stayed friends.    I just wish I could convince her computers don't bite!

Answer 14

In my experience women have deeper friendships with each other, because they are based on a genuine concern for the person, whereas men's friendships are based on mutual interest in something - something else besides each other.  Men could benefit from having good friendships, but society does not encourage that kind of love between men, except the buddy reltionship on the battlefield.