Which has the least sibling rivalry - a boy and girl, or 2 boys??

Question

We have a one year old son, and are looking to add to our family through adoption. We originally thought we should adopt a boy – so they could share the same stuff, and grow up together, etc. Now we think it might be better to adopt a girl – for the exact same reasons - so they won’t have to compete for the same stuff, etc. Which combination has the least chance of sibling rivalry?? An older boy and slightly younger sister? Or two boys close to the same age? Is there any difference?

Answer 1

I think the most important thing to remember is that even if they fight as children as adults they are probably going to be close if they grow up in a close family enviroment.  I have 2 sisters and 2 brothers and we all fought  like cats and dogs growing up and now we are best friends!  I have 3 girls and 1 boy and my girls tend to fight more with each other then with my son, but like I said I am so glad that someday when my husband and I are gone they will have each other.  I don't think you can go wrong either way!  Good luck on your adoption

Answer 2

I think if you just look at it as: YOUR child is the best child to add to your family, the s*x of the child will be a non-issue.  And YOUR child is out there somewhere (or will be!).  So do not start limiting yourself.  Just let it happen!  Girl, or boy, when your child is in your arms, you will not be able to imagine having any other child!  Your child will be home.  If you were pregnant, you wouldn't be able to intellectualize this issue so much, so try to get out of your head and get back into your heart.  No expectations for this little baby!  Don't wish he or she were a boy or girl, but just yours!  Children should be valued for exactly who they are, with no strings attached.  You will adore your new baby, so just relax, sit back, and let him or her come to you.  : )

Answer 3

I have 2 girls that are only 12 months apart.  I love it because they play really well together and they like all of the same things ( playing house, barbies etc...)  My younger one always wants to do everything the oldest does and this causes some tension but I think it would be like that with opposite sexes as well.  

I really don't think you could go wrong either way.  My sister and I are 18 months apart and we went through the stage where we fought all of the time, but now that we are older I could not imagine not having a sister that close in age to me- we are best friends.  You and your children will never know the difference to the decision you make.  In the end, what do you want and who NEEDS you?!?!?!

Answer 4

You cant avoid all sibling rivalry no matter how you try but I think a girl would be a good choice for you. A girl a little younger than your son but not too much younger would be good. Adoption takes some time so you could be looking now and still have a girl child younger than your 1year old son. As they grow up they will have different interests and will have activities away from each other. This will keep rivalry down to a minimum. Despite being different genders they will play together a lot and both will learn some of the traits of the other-your girl will learn to throw a ball well and your boy will learn how to behave at a tea party!!lol

Answer 5

2 boys.  Just be sure to emphasize their separate gifts and help them to NOT compare each other to one another.  Difficult, but possible.

Good luck!

Answer 6

I don't think gender is the deciding factor in sibling rivalry so pick what you want. I have 4 children and the worse case of rivalry is between a boy/girl, but I have boy/boy and girl/girl rivalry, too!  One thing nice about having a boy and a girl is that they say having opposite s*x siblings improves your chances of having a good marriage!  Good luck!

Answer 7

I think 2 boys are more likely to go head to head with competition. Then again, they could develop a wonderful friendship later on in life.

Answer 8

I am so excited for you!  I am the oldest of 3 with two younger brothers.  We fought quite a bit when we were kids, but we also took up for each other.  Now that we are all in our 30's, we are the best of friends!  I have 3 children of my own.  I had a girl and a boy (biologically 13 months apart) and then we adopted a 3 year old from Guatemala when our dd and ds were 7 and 8.  We chose a boy because our older children asked for a "little brother".  God will lead you to your child.  Boy or girl.....either way....He knows which child is supposed to be in your family.  Pray that the right gender and age tugs at your heart so you will know what to put on the papers.

God Bless

Answer 9

I would say that a brother/sister relationship would have the least rivalry.  However, it opens an entire different thought process.  Like brother thinking that sister gets more attention from parents and things of that sort.

Good Luck.

Answer 10

There is definitely a difference. The question is what will be the difference in your own personal circumstance and that depends so much on the kids involved that it is really hard to make the right decision on purpose. I had the same dilemma and we decided to make it as it would be if I were pregnant and that meant to not request either s*x. You are not going to be able to "choose right" in this situation because you will never know what could have been. Do you and your husband feel the same way or does one of you want a boy or a girl more? I never particularly cared if I had a son, but really was so happy to have a daughter and therefore I wanted another daughter. My husband wanted a boy and if I wanted to be "fair" about it, I could have agreed to having a boy but, I didn't want a boy! So, we jsut let it happen and we now have an 11 yr old son that I have adored since he was born and I am very happy to have a son and to be raising a boy. I think the competition level is higher when the s*x is the same but, then again the kids coould end up having a lot more in common and being a lot closer than if they are of different sexes. It has so much to do with just who the kids are. I also think your own lives are very different when you just have girls or boys or when you have both. You learn a lot of different things being the mother of a girl and the mother of a boy. They learn different things from each other as well. It is a really tough thing to "decide" on for so many reasons. I think your best bet is to not decide. That's my two cents worth!!

Answer 11

I would adopt a girl. I think you will find having a boy and a girl is a blessing you get to raise both sexes and they can look out for one another.

but really it doesn't matter which one you adopt... its all about how you raise them its your responsibility, if you teach them how to play togther correctly they can be fine.

Answer 12

sibling rivalry, well it can be hard between any siblings, it is about there personality and how they are raised, not about what s*x they are, be blessed to get a healthy child, the chances of sibling rivalry are very low if you parent well, i am one of six, we had no sibling rivalry, we truly loved each other and we are all adopted, which we always knew, we had very special bonds, my children not adopted don't have much rivalry either, i guess i parent a lot like my parents because i don't see a lot of this with my nieces and nephews either, we all raise are children similar to our parents, good luck to you, let god decide

Answer 13

Depends on the individual children, and the parents.  Genetics plays a part, so you want to keep in mind that if you bring a non-biological child into your family, they may have different personality traits (introvert, while you're all extroverts, that kind of thing).  Age difference plays a part.  Your expectations and behavior as parents play a part.  The social norms in your community play a part.  When you add it all up, two boys are great (or awful), and one of each is great (or awful).  You can't guarantee anything on the subject.

Answer 14

I have 2 brothers and one sister. I always got along just perfect with my brothers, but with my sister i only got along after I left my parent´s house at 21. I think we were always competing with each other for "daddy´s little girl" place at home. So I think that a boy and a girl would be just perfect, that way nobody feels left behind or jealous.

Answer 15

i think it will be nice to adopt a boy so they can share things in common,also your son can play with a boy and feel much relaxed than a girl.But in any case why don't you try to see if he can give you an idea of what gender he would prefer.Good luck!!!

Answer 16

Mmmm, that's a good question. It really depends on the personalities of the children. In my own family, the boys tend to be closer, but they can fight like crazy. A girl might be very close with her brother, but she might not be as willing to wrestle with him and get dirty.

Answer 17

Well I don't know why you are looking for sibling rivalry ?

The truth is this is NOT a everyday occurrence. Like most Children have bad days, but if they are loved nurtured, and secure in a family setting, they bond together and you seldom have rivalry in a close family.

My choice would be to adopt a girl. But its my selfish choice because we have 4 wonderful boys and were not blessed with a little girl.

Answer 18

From my experience, a boy and a girl would have the least amount of sibling rivarly. My sister has two boys, and they have fought over toys and stuff. My sister and I don't get along...she's been the jealous one.

But then again, siblings of the same s*x get along just perfectly.

There is no real guarantee that rivalry won't ever exist.