Which is better, mediation of court hearing?

Question

My husband filed for full custody of our 2 year old son. We have to go to mediation. If that doesn't work out, we have a court date. I am a good mother. No criminal history. No boyfriend. No drugs, smoking or drinking. I wasn't going to ask for full custody, but now that he is, I may. Will I be more likely to get this negotiating with him in mediation or letting a judge decide in court?

P.S-I know that I probably won't get FULL custody, but I wanted to be prepared since he was filing for it.

Thanks.

Answer 1

Learn now how to get along! Settle out of court! If he is a good father and you two can work together on parenting, give him half custody. Court sucks believe me, and it tears a child apart!

Mediation is set to try to force parents to do what I have stated above. Since your child is so young you will probably end up with more visitation than him but it could get really nasty and expensive.

Always keep what is best for the child at the forefront and not the fight!

Check out my website www.ppccgroup.com

Answer 2

In mediation, they try to convince one of you to bend.  Usually it's the woman who bends and gives in.  If you take it to court, the judge will probably give you each half the time with your son.  It is too bad you cannot stay together, because divorce means your husband will bring in a new wife and your son will have to be around her whether you like her or not.

You have nothing to lose with mediation, but just be prepared to have the mediator try to lay a guilt trip on you about how much your son needs his dad.  Neither of you will get full custody either way.  You will be sharing.

Answer 3

Anytime one can settle an agreement outside a courtroom, so much the better. No one wins inside a courtroom where a Judge decides everything. One thing to remember in your favor though is, courts will usually award custody to the mother unless shes ruled unfit via child and/or drug/mental abuse charges. You would be the primary residential custodian parent and he will be the non residential parent with visitation rights. Keep this in mind when entering mediation, and learn to compromise but still getting what you want without losing too much.Dont act too eager or surprised on anything but dont agree until you actually agree with it. Good luck

Answer 4

they are going to try to convince you guys that custody is for the good of the child not the good of the parent.

Then they are going to see which one of u acts like the child in the court room.  Mediation should work between two civil adults

however, few adults are civil

if you go to trial your behavior in mediation will be recorded and it will reflect in your trial

believe that

Answer 5

Mediation will only work if both parties are willing to compromise. if he won't agree for shared custody then it won't work and you'll have to go to court.

Is he a good person too? if he is i suggest you apply for shared custody for 2 reasons.

1- your son should have his father in his life (that's if the father is a good person)

2- if you do go to court and you show that you are willing to compromise the judge may "like" you and decide in your favor.

But if he's being a jackass about it and he's not a nice person then go with full custody.

Hope everything works out.  

Answer 6

Get a lawyer before you go to mediation  

Answer 7

Can you support your children by yourself? Can you support them with your husbands 25% of his pay for child support? You can still have them with joint custody.  Check out mediation. Fight for your kids. Unless your husband has something really bad on your and you say he doesnt, you will probably get custody. He just doesnt want to pay support. Good luck....

Answer 8

Get a lawyer, either way. I did mediation and still had to file in court for the divorce. It is a waste to me to mediate. It just gives your partner the advance notice of what argument, evidence, etc. that you plan to bargain with. GO STRAIGHT TO COURT AND FILE FOR SOLE CUSTODY ONLY IF HE IS A DEAD BEAT DAD. IF HE IS A GOOD PERSON, ASK FOR SHARED CUSTODY, REGARDLESS OF HOW HE FILES.