Which is better a lover who's SUPER in bed, but doesn't take U out, or a lover who wines/dines U but cheats?

Question

my partner and I got into a big fight because after 3 months of s*x he refuses to ask me out in a formal manner. We have gone to the local sports bar and played pool together, and he bought me a take out lunch, and I attended his family's 4th of july barbecue. He has never called me and invited me out. He says I dont cheat on you. So he asked me; which would you rather have a guy who takes you out and spends money on you but is a cheater or someone like him who spends all of his money on himself desires crazy s*x 3x's a week but insist he doesnt cheat. Its a tuffy but i chose to leave. What would you choose please include your age. I am 40.

Answer 1

The problem is YOU!!!!!

Change men and change places where you find this kind of characters.

Good Luck

Answer 2

Have you asked him out on a formal date?  Look, I'm 36 and I don't have time for it.  I say neither is better. Dump his ***.

Answer 3

Age doesnt realli matter. You dont deserve to be with him if he doesnt appreciate you or your desires.. Let him go. I know you might be worried about your age thing it is too late for you to find Mr. Right but you are wrong. It is never too late to love again..

Answer 4

Neither one is acceptable.  You deserve better than that!  A loving relationship involves much more than casual s*x 3 times a week ... and comparing that kind of relationship to one that involves cheating is LAME.

When you love someone, you want to be with them.  Sure, good s*x is a plus .... but it's not the basis of love.  s*x is a component of love, just like sharing the same morals, spirituality, respect and honor are components.

You deserve much better than what you were getting.  

By the way, I am 50.

Answer 5

Cheaters suck.

Never stick with a cheater, not for one second.

But this guy doesn't sound much better...

Answer 6

im Emma age 22 from England.

hes obviously scared of commitment, there must be a reason and that is what you need to find out if you do want to be with him. it might be because he has been badly hurt before, in which case he might just need time. However it might be because he thinks he's a player in which case you need to drop him.

if i were in your shoes i would be concerned about the "i dont cheat" coments. someone who repeats one point over and over is usually lying.

the more i read over your question the more i think you've done the right thing by leaving. he seems like he needs to grow up. how old is he?

Answer 7

Both are lousy choices and I'd prefer to be single rather than compromise either way. I always wanted someone who would find me s**y in bed and show me off out of it. Someone like my husband. And I'm 36.

Answer 8

well neither is a good catch to me.  I'm 40 and I don't think that you should be with someone who cheats or someone who wont take you out to places, what kind of fulfilling relationship is that?

Answer 9

I wouldn't choose either of those.  I think there are plenty of men out there who could and would give you a healthy relationship, which includes both doing things together as a couple AND intimacy.  Why settle for less than you deserve?

Answer 10

follow your heart

Answer 11

I would choose the one who takes me out and doesn't cheat they do exist. He is trying to make it a black and white thing so you will settle he is feeding you BS.

Answer 12

i'm 30.  i'd go for the selfish one who doesn't cheat.  

Answer 13

I'd rather be checking her OIL that her cheating on me anyday of the week.

Answer 14

How about start over and find a guy that will take you out and not cheat...neither option sounds good to me!  

age:33

Answer 15

I am 22 and I think love is all that matters. I would much rather have my husband faithful and spend time with me wither at home or McDonald's He is with me that's all that matters

Answer 16

Just because he doesn't cheat on you doesn't mean he should never have to take you anywhere nice. Staying faithful should be something everyone tries to do, not something he should be holding against you.

Answer 17

You shouldn't have to choose between the two.  Your partner should NEVER cheat and it isn't too much to go out to a nice place every once in a while.  If your budget doesn't allow for Steak and Lobster, save up and go to a nice BYOB.  

I am 7

Answer 18

I'm 51.  This is a tuff question...........lol

I wouldn't want either. May be it's my age  and or being single now for 20 years and not many dates at all.   I choose not to be cheated on ever again, must be why I'm single!!

I'm even thinking even at my age to try a relationship with a woman!!