Nothing like a nice slice of cake with a good Pot of Tea, China set and Silver. The cup of course, warmed a little and the little finger delicately held aloft like a proud little Soldier.
You can imagine my delight, as myself and my Dear Lady Wife was invited to judge the Famous Cake Festival, which was to take place in a "Exclusive" Marque. This being naturally an event just for the respectable Ton as it were, and not for the Riff Raff. Not that I'm a Snob you understand and just to show Diplomacy and Tact, I bought a hundred packets of Tesco Value Sponge Rolls and placed them on a stall, in the nearby Car Park so they'll not be a problem.
Anyway, on the day, I was to stroll around the various Ladies and their fine Home Cooked Wares, and sample their Cakey Creations.
'Twas, a rare treat. Myself and Sybil were certainly in our element.
On top of all this there was a Home Made Wine stall to saunter over to.
It was only fair, I should sample these exquisite Beverages. And their fantastic Ultra British Flavors. Elderflower, Blackcurrant, Peach, Pears, Strawberries, Raspberries, Gooseberries. . . at this point my Wife stated we should really move on to the last Stall, as Mrs Gringham was pouting, drumming her fingers and scowling Like a Bulldog with a Wasp up it's Bum. "Just a 'mo my Dear," says I "Let me try one or two of the Vegetable Wines here, then we'll wrap up eh?"
Now, these wines. . made from humble Vegetables. . . knocked me for six. I wasn't expecting these to taste very nice at all! But By Jove they certainly did! Divine and unique. . . Turnips, Marrows, Carrots, Potatoes even, the list went on, all were splendid British Wines and all with a sturdy Clout to Boot! This much was apparent, as my Memory stops roundabout here. My wife had to Conduct the rest of the Cake Show Judging as I wandered off to climb a Massive Conker Tree, and proceeded to lob Spiky Conkers all over the Blasted Shop bouncing on a Branch screeching like an Ape and doing Tarzan impressions.
The Coup de Grace of my appalling behavior alas, was when the final Prize was handed to an ecstatic Mrs Bertram and as the curtain rose to reveal her breathtaking Baked creation in the form of her famous Sherry Flavored Fruit Cake, only for a startled crowd to see myself, pants around my ankles devouring it like a Big Monster, my face and Whiskers smothered in crumbs with a Wild Look on my face, I snarled and reared up like a Grizzly Bear and Roared! "RRRRooooooooaaaaarrrrr!" Naturally the curtain came down, as there was a fair amount of tears at that moment, and I was quietly escorted Home, by the Local Plod, who owed me a Monkey, and agreed to let it go this once, if I dropped his Debt.
Anyway, my Question is this. . . is Sherry a better addition to the Fruit Cake? Or is Brandy better?
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