Which is more harmful to a child: A father who leaves or a father who commits suicide?

Question

You cannot answer "both", that is a cop-out. Please make a choice between the two.

Answer 1

Ive never had to deal with either but i would say suicide.

With leaving there always is a chance somewhere down the road you can reunite. Suicide is so final.  

Answer 2

A father who commits suicide- the child will think that the father didn't love them enough to stick around and this can never be put right or reversed.  However if a father leaves, all is not lost. The father/child relationship can survive even with a few years missing

Answer 3

Suicide is a cop-out.  Suicide is permanent.  Parents make mistakes all of the time but we get a chance to correct those mistake unless we do something stupid like suicide.

Answer 4

  I think the father that leaves is the worst for a child, it could make the child feel like the father didnt love him/her.

Answer 5

The suicide one, unless he's bad beyond belief.

A somewhat misguided father is better than no father.

Answer 6

More harmful to a child :A father who commits suicide.

A father commiting suicide not only disturbs his child's minds of being left but also imprints a terror or a fear in his mind.

Answer 7

Suicide. Because it will teach some people something! and u will not miss your child either! and the child will forget it very soon.

Answer 8

Both, what kind of a question is this? The bottom line is, both would be bad for the child because a child's "FATHER" is a part of a child's whole being, you're asking w/c is more harmful? Well, my answer is both.  

Answer 9

A father who commits suicide because the child knows that there is no possible way that they will never see there father again. If the father leaves, then they still have a chance of finding them. And also, they would just have the peace of knowing that there father is alive.  

Answer 10

being that i know a woman that has raised her son without his dad because he chose to commit suicide i feel i can answer this question.

the son has never known his father.  never seen him, smelled him nothing.  so has nothing to hold onto just what people tell him...he misses him, wants to know why and where he is.  so far, he knows his father is dead, but not yet does he know that he killed himself.  the boy is only six.

i would say a father leaving his son is worse than committing suicide.  the reason i say this is because he is still a living being responsible for his actions and son but chooses to stay out of the picture...not some inanimate person deemed just a memory.  so having someone living across the country not willing to be in a life rather than having someone six feet under who again, chose to not be involved and is literally gone, not just away is worse.

Answer 11

This is a serious question that I don't take lightly.  I think if a father commited suicide that would be worse.

Personally I've never met my father.  From what I have been told he is a bad person, and I don't need to meet him.  I've been effected by not having a father.  

My adopted mother has raised me very well, and I am ashamed of some of my behavior in my 20's.  And I only hope to grow up and start helping her now.

Answer 12

I think a father that commits suicide definitely would be very harmful  to a child. The child would be devastated. I would get professional help before I took either one of these routes. I don't know what is going on in your life to make you feel this way but please think about how this child would feel for the rest of their life. I truly hope you get help and work this terrible situation out for  (you & this child) Good luck...

Answer 13

I would choose a father who leaves. Constant emotional mourning over someone who didn't want you versus someone who gave up. It would honestly depend on the situation and timing. Both are damaging and BOTH should NEVER be options. Children are beautiful extensions of ourselves and by giving up or walking away we give up on ourselves that fulfillment we were meant to have. Kids need positive role models in their lives. The best option is the father who wants to be involved in his child's life and wants to experience that fulfillment throughout the years.

Answer 14

Children of parents who commit suicide seem to believe that killing themselves is a viable way of resolving crisis in life.  They tend, statistically, to have higher suicide rates than the general populace within their age group.

"Monkey see...monkey do!"

Clinical depression, and situational depression, can all be effectively treated.  The desperation goes away, and you feel empowered to face life and its problems.  Granted, it may take several weeks to get the right dosage to work, but once effectively treated, the results tend to be very effective.  

Death, on the other hand, has a disturbing tendency to be permanent.

Answer 15

Suicide to me is the most selfish act a person can make. The ones left behind are left to pick up the pieces and most never get over this great loss. One can never ask why? There will be questions that never can be answered. I have a friend whose x-husband committed suicide and she has 4 children by this man. It's been 10 years and not one of the kids have been able to get over his death. It has led to horrible choices in their lives without their father to guide them. Two of the girls ended up spending time in a mental institution because of their grief. Don't do it! Please think of your children first. I know your in pain or you wouldn't even be thinking on this line. Get help, talk to someone.  

Answer 16

i think its A FATHER WHO LEAVES because the father is going to be somewhere out in the world without a care for that child that's going to feel forgotten and betrayed vs. the father committing suicide time can heel a pain so great like that.  but knowing your father is out their and does not care for you is an on going pain

Answer 17

It's really hard to answer it because BOTH are very damaging. I have to go with suicide. Children have a tendency to feel that they are to blame in both of those situations, (i.e. "If I had been a better child, daddy wouldn't have left" or "I wish I had done what Dad said so he wouldn't have killed himself")

The only thing that makes suicide worse is the finality of it. There is no chance of the child to track their father down for answers.

Answer 18

Suicide would be more damaging, especially for a younger child.  They understandably have trouble with the ideas of mortality and forever.

A father who has left, is still technically an open book, so children don't have to deal directly with the absolutes of death.

Answer 19

A father who commits suicide. Because they were not worth living for. They didn't bring enough joy or happiness to his life to make him want to stay alive. They will wonder how he did it or be told at some point and have that image engrained in their minds. They will always blame themselves to some extent. Family, friends of the family, friends will all know and pity them, talk about them, etc.. It is a much bigger scar than a father just walking out.

Answer 20

a father who commits suicide is gone forever. With a father who leaves there is always a chance that he might redeem himself even though it might not amount to much but there is always a chance, a glimmer of hope, a silver lining, hope that he is still out there, Hope!  

Answer 21

Father who commits suicide.

A father who leaves can send money to help the child when it grows older and also to help the mom out buying clothes etc, or put in a savings account.

A father who commits suicide isn't there to send money and the child has to grow up without a dad completely.

At least when a dad sends money the child can still think that the dad cares.

Answer 22

in my opinion you sound like your gonna do one of those.. please dont.. but in my opinion a father who suicides is worst. that would mess up the childs brain so badly.. i had a teacher in 7th grade she had2 kids 11 yrs old each and her husband suicided.. and after that  kids at school picked on her children and said your dad suicided cause ur so fat and ugly and mean stuff,,, if i knew the person that said that to me i would kill them but yeah i think a father who suicides is wors

Answer 23

A father who commits suicide, is more harmful to a child...An oppurtunity to understand the Dad's reasoning for leaving him/her would never be available. - Lost love.

I recently went to a funeral for a 27 yr. old relative, that commited suicide. And the saddest thing about it, is the fact that he left 3 small children behind. - They have NO father now! (tsk. tsk. tsk.)

Answer 24

Interesting that you answer that.  My mother was married twice.  Her first marriage yielded 2 children before her first husband killed himself.  Her second marriage, which ended in divorce, yielded me and my sister.  In this case everything seems to be about equal.  We all turned out okay for growing up in a single parent environment.  Neither set of kids really have any problems.  I would rather have a single parent because of divorce than death though.