Which is more important?

Question

Having a wedding close to his family, but far from mine. (Which will mean that most of mine won't make it.) Having a wedding close to my fam, but far from his (which means only like his mother will come). OR having 2 separate weddings so everyone can make it.

I guess I'm asking if it's more important to plan your big day to ensure a large outcome....or to just forget about the guests and just have one wedding though it may be a small one?

Please help - I need some serious advice

Answer 1

This is why I had a simple court ceremony, because my (huge!!!) family lives 1000km away, while his lived around here. I wanted my family there, he wanted his. The best compromise was to get married with just our parents there...

The importance for us was the marriage, not the wedding!

Answer 2

Where do you live? That's where it should be. People close to you will come. If they can't, oh well.

Answer 3

Have 1 wedding and reception in one place and 1 reception in the other place. Not two weddings. That's ridiculous.

As far as which one to have the wedding at, have it at whichever place you think you'll see more guests -- so if you think your family is more willing to travel than your fiance's, have it where your fiance's family lives so that his family and at least some of yours will see the actual ceremony.

Answer 4

Why don't you just have it at a neutral spot, small destination wedding (this includes in the states), give people plenty or notice and time to save in advance, have a turn out of the closest family and friends (because those are the ones who are going to show up) and have a great wedding!

We are having a destination wedding in Florida with 27 people, I debated having a giant one, but it is just such a money saver and seems so much more intimate to spend that day with all the people you are closest with and not trying to impress people you hardly know just because your related!

Answer 5

One wedding, one reception.

Whats' up with gift grabing people wanting to have more reception for maximum outcome?

Horrible

Answer 6

why can't you just do it right smack in the middle of the locations?  that seems like it could work.  so now everybody can come.  good luck

Answer 7

Have 1 wedding that you enjoy and that is convenient for you to plan from where you are living.

That might mean a smaller outcome or a larger outcome.

My one suggestion would be to improve your prospects  of attendees from the farther family  - - definitely have it on a Saturday.

Answer 8

I vote to have two weddings, both inexpensive but inclusive to everyone that is important to you.

Remember, you DON'T have to spend a fortune.  You can easily have two weddings with a budget that's lower than one "all-out" celebration.  Gorgeous eBay gown, asking for help instead of gifts (flowers, photos, decorations, favors, etc.)

Also, it'd be nice to have two wedding certificates from two different states.  I think it's important to not have to make guests choose, especially ones as close as family.  And it will be nice to see the differences in the two experiences and show that you love to share your day with everyone.  (Also, it's important not to exclude any family while you're still getting to know anyone.)

Answer 9

Can you hold the wedding at a midway point? If not consider getting married at a vacation spot like the Caribbean. My husband and I got married in Jamaica and it wasn't as expensive as you would think. I live in NYC and a lot of people from here have their wedding upstate in a country resort or the Pocono. It's cheaper then the city and that way everyone has a little get away. Keep in mind that the wedding is for the couple getting married and not their family members. You can't please everyone so you've got to please yourself, Especially the bride

Answer 10

Why not go and get married in another State or Country where your going to honeymoon at and then you can visit both families afterwards.This saves time and money

Answer 11

Ehh, this is really tough =( I'm sorry! I guess there are two sides to consider, especially since having the wedding in one area versus the other determines how much or how little family will be involved. What I would suggest is talking to family members from both sides and getting their opinion. They will understand that you are taking their opinion and feelings into consideration, and would hopefully realize that either decision will be a hard one.

Ultimately, it is your day...and you should be happy. Those who can attend will be the family members that you are closest to and ultimately the ones that will be the most supportive. What does your fiance think, and how do they feel about it?

Having two weddings may be ideal but a lot for you and your fiance to pay for, or parents if they will be paying. You could possibly get married somewhere alone and then have two small get togethers indivudally with each family?

Answer 12

I would have the wedding in one location, and invite everyone even if they can't attend. Then, go to the other location and have a second reception/party so the ones who couldn't make it are involved.

Answer 13

Have one wedding day in the place you two decide to have it as a couple.  In the other location have a nice reception (informal is fine but one where family who couldn't attend the wedding could celebrate with you.)  You will not be able to accomodate everyone with 2 families in different states so do the best you can.  Have a small wedding and a small second reception.  That's the best choice.

Answer 14

I had the same problem!

What I figured I'd do is make it a wedding at a neutral point....

I never needed a big wedding to begin with, and I figure, those to whom we matter most will do everything in their power to attend...

His family lives in Orlando, Fl....

My family lives in Puerto Rico.

I want my wedding in Miami, Fl....

Happy medium!

Answer 15

My fiance's brother had the wedding and small reception where she lived and a huge reception where his family lives.  As for which is more important.. as much as I hate to see it i have to say it.. It's really up to you.. everyone's priorities are different..