Which of the following best describes your Pastor?

Question

1) The Mike Huckabee Jokester who makes it "funny" to be a Christian

2) The Rev. Hagee who believes that his church is part of a divine prophesy to start wars with foreign nations

3) The Rev. Wright who motivates his church to take political action against oppressors and corruption.

4) The Ted Haggard who spends an inordinate amount of time in the men's room...

5) The Governor Palin who constantly calls prayer circles and talks about how "special" every moment is and how "something is really happening right now"...

6) The Naomi King who talks about how love is the answer and preaches acceptance, and unity.

7) The Rev. Phelps who describes horrific dungeons full of burning g*y people who are "covering the bible with f***s"...

8) The Becky Fischer who wants your children to form an army to fight the Muslims.

9) The Jim Jones whose church is mostly mosquito netting and wants you to drink the purple Kool-Aid.

10) The "Sign Follower" who speaks in tongues, handles snakes and preaches for hours on end about Britney Spears and Harry Potter...

Answer 1

11) None of the above.

Answer 2

I am mormon and we dont have Pastors.  We have Bishops that just preside over the congregation.

The members of the congregation give the "sermons" or talks, as we call them.  The Bishopric just asks diff people to give them on diff topics each week.  

So there really is no one tone set because everyone has a diff style to speaking and there are many diff topics that are talked about based on those peoples preferences of how to speak on any given topic.

Answer 3

No one really "preaches" at my church. It's mostly drumming, dancing, and singing. Take a look.

Answer 4

You've given plenty of options and yet my pastor doesn't fit into any of them at all.

Answer 5

none of the above.  The monsignor at my last catholic church was a pretty mellow elderly guy who liked walking and big-band dancing.

Answer 6

My Bishop is black, and speaks a bit like Bob Marley. He doesn't have the dreads, however.

Answer 7

11) A pheadophile that assaults little boys.

I dont have a pastor, thank "god".

Answer 8

None of the above. Our priest is a learned and realistic woman who had to bide her time before the traditionally male dominated church would allow her to answer her life long call.  

Answer 9

I don't have one and am proud of it.

Answer 10

My Pastor is completely and utterly identical to God and jesus.

Non existent.

Answer 11

11) My pastor is a consummate moron who hasn't a clue about anything in life, much less the Bible.  He's the only one in town, I'm close to deciding not to go any more.

I'd prefer any of the above.  They may be wrong in some areas, but at least I'd get SOMETHING other than the nonsense that I have to tolerate every time I attend church.