Which part of him do I listen to?

Question

This guy I'm seeing, he's going through major depression, thoughts of suicide and bascially I am the only person who has stuck by him (and says I'm the only person, out of all his long term girlfriends that he's been able to totally open up to), so he goes through phases of "I don't know why you're here but thank God you are and you're the only person I want by my side through this" to "I need to try and sort this out on my own and you deserve better and will find someone better than me which will hurt but I just want you to be happy" and says we're "just mates" although alot of the time it feels like more than that. I realise he's depressed and unstable, but which part of him do I listen to - the one that wants me around or the one that doesn't?

Answer 1

I believe you should listen to the one that wants you around. I mean if you listen to the one that doesn't want you around then it will show that you never cared about him in the first place. By being there it will show that you truly care about him and you will do anything to help him. But it also depends on you too. Are you ok with being someone depressed all the time? Are you getting hurt and worried all the time by his depression? Does he get in the way of you being happy? You need to be happy and stable yourself first in order to help someone. So ask yourself those questions and decide for yourself.

I hope that helped, good luck :)

Answer 2

I think that you should listen to him when he says that he wants you around, if he is depressed you should try and be there for him, but if he tells you to leave stragiht out, then leave but don't give up on him. If he is thinking about suicide then stay by him, let him know that you will be there to help him.  

Answer 3

It is totally up to you but being older and having the experience of life that I have been through I would choose the one that doesn't.  He needs to see a doctor and get medication for his depression.  Just tell him how much you care which you probably have told him this already.  Tell him that you will give him the time he wants to sort things through if that is what he wants.  When he is ready and when he has his depression under control then you can restart your relationship if that is what you want.  Right now I think you will get deeply hurt.  I know that you are trying everything you can to help him but he needs to help himself and seek help on his own.  If you stay in this relationship as it is right now and if he does commit suicide even though none of this is your fault you will put blame on yourself.  You will find fault with something you said and there will be a lot of what if questions you ask yourself.  Either way you will be hurt.  Look for yourself you have done everything you could for him.Good luck to you.

Answer 4

He wants you around listen to the part of him you want to hear

Answer 5

do you really want to be with this guy? if you do just listen to what your heart tells you. even though he's depressed, stay by his side, give him support, show him that he's the one you want.

Answer 6

The one that does. The part of him that doesn't and says things like 'you deserve better' is just reaching out for attention. It's just his way of getting you to say 'ohh no I'd never do that!'. What I really think you need to do, if you haven't already, is get him to see a professional about all this. It's ok to share his problems with you, but you can't be expected to deal with a suicidal person all by yourself. You need help as much as he does!

Answer 7

i dont know much about your or his life and the situation,

but hes oviously going through very rough times and he needs you even though he wont open up to it

my brothers friend committed suicide recently and he never let anyone know the pain he was going through, but him killing himself effected the whole school

anyways be honest with him about your relationship but let him know hes loved and make sure hes getting help

good luck (:

Answer 8

Omg in this day and age with these feelings coming from a man you need to be very careful.You should allow some space between the two of you.He can't totally depend on you either.This is not a healthy relationship.He needs more help than you can give and this may be draining you.Not safe.  

Answer 9

The one that wants you around...don't leave him if he's thinking about those things if you leave you might make matters worse... :)