Which side should i take or should i take a side?

Question

my parents just got divorced after 13 years of marriage.my dad is moving to another state,and he wants me to go with him ...what should i do? PLZ HELP!!!

Answer 1

You have to ask yourself the question,....who do I really want to live with?  Depending on how old you are you school or work may be an issue for you.  If you are still in school, do you really want to move away from all your friends?  If you have a job, do you really want to quit your job and find a new one in another state? Who do you have a better relationship with, mom or day? My suggestion is to make a list of all the pros and cons with living with either parent and whichever one had a shorter cons list or a longer pros list....go with that one.

Answer 2

Don't take a side - their divorce doesn't have anything to do with you, although, sadly, you're the affected party.

Think about whether you'd want to move or not - you'd have to change schools, make new friends etc.  

Answer 3

I'm very sorry this happened to you.  I am also sorry that your father is making you make a decision you should never have to make.  

If I were you, I would sit my father down and let him know that you love him very much but you do not want to have to choose between he and your mother.  Is there any way possible (there is, so don't accept it when he says NO) that he can stay in the same city as the two of you, to not break up the family any more than what it already is?  If he lives closer to you then you can visit him whenever you want and your life will not have to be more uprooted than their divorce has already made it.

Good luck, but if I were you I would not make this decision.  If your mother is a good mother and you are happy where you are than I would not move out of state.  After all, she is staying put.  Your father is the one who wants to leave.  

Answer 4

First off, NEVER TAKE SIDES!

Exactly who has custody of you?  Mother?  Father?  Shared? I can't imagine that custody was not discussed at all.

If the court has specifically given custody to one parent, it would have done so in your best interest and you should be with that parent for the time being.

If your parents have shared custody, then you can go back and forth (which doesn't sound like much fun to me).  

You say your dad wants you to go with him - How does your mother feel about this?  If she doesn't care...then go with him if that's what you want.

This might be hard for you to do; but where do you see yourself as being better off?  And I don't mean in a "fun for you, no supervision way", I mean where would you be best parented in an adult, responsible way?  

But whatever you do, don't take "sides."   You might get better advice from someone who knows you and your family.

We don't know anything either of your parents.  So it isn't for us to say.

Answer 5

Do you like your father? If so go with him.

Do you like your mother? If so go with her.

give some more details, then I could help you more but this is all i got.

Answer 6

I'm so sorry for this uncomfortable position, love. Taking sides between your Mom and your Dad is like deciding if you like your left eye or right eye better. Nobody should be in such a position!

Alas... There's what should be and there is what is.

Keep the focus on yourself as much as possible in this. I don't mean that as a blessing to be a total brat, but don't think of it in terms of loving one parent more than the other or choosing sides. Think in terms of where do I want to live? What is right for ME?

Keep the faith. Hold the love as sacred. The rest is just a bunch of details that will work themselves out in time.