Which will happen first?

Question

a. Alan Shearer to say something insightful, thought-provoking, unique, controversial, original or memorable.

b. Garth Crooks to utter a short sentence that ends in a question mark.

c. Paul Scholes to learn to tackle. h**l, he's only a 30-something professional footballer, so it's not too late.

d. Mike Ashley to prove he's a proper Newcastle fan by watching a match bare-chested. In January.

e. Your choice.

From the archives of F365.

Answer 1

A ZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!

B Unlikely

C Not a bloody chance!! LOL

D Hmm quite possibly as hes got a lot of "relaxed muscle" to keep him warm.

Answer 2

i think Scholes will never learn to tackle period its almost ridiculous now

anyways i think Tottenham or dear i say Everton will finish top 4 before any of this happens

Answer 3

e) Gerrard to announce he is straight.