Who's right - the working mom or the SAHM?

Question

And does it matter? Why is there a raging debate on this issue that gets the heckles up of every mom I know - and they've never been able to convince the other side that they're right.

Working moms say that SAHM's have no life and raise dependent, socially shy children. SAHM say that working women are too selfish/self-involved to actually stay home and do the hard job of actually raising a child rather than leaving them in daycare where a stranger is raising the child.

Who says either of them HAS to be right? Why do magazines and talk-shows debate on this? Why do mothers all over the world put each other down for being a career woman/SAHM?

Isnt the most imp thing the child's welfare? As long as the child feels loved, secure, has good parenting that makes him or her a well-rounded child with good self-esteem, doesnt that mean that mom has DONE her job, however she chose to do it, either by working or by staying home.

My question is why the debate? To each his own. Men these days are choosing to stay home and care for the children, you dont see other men beat up on them for putting down the briefcase and putting on an apron. Why are women each other's worst enemies.... this fundamental, competitive streak in women is making mountains out of molehills.

NOTE I dont include working moms/single moms that have to get a job to put food on the table... i'm talking about career women whose husbands earn well enough but they choose, as they have every right to do, to continue with a career that they may have invested a lot in before children came along.

If you find two women on the opposite sides of this issue you can literally SEE daggers flying everywhere when they debate on who has made the better choice and the other mom has taken a poor parenting decision.

Answer 1

I have been in both positions before and a mother is a mother, stay at home or work full time. Why are there labels on this? Because one day there was a pissed off mom that had nothing better to do. All mothers are loving and caring if they stay at home or work a job. That dosent change your love for a child. There should be no debate on this.  

Answer 2

I am a stay at home mom and i am proud of it. I do not think there is nothing wrong with it.

There is nothing wrong for a woman with kids to get out and work either way --career or cause they have too.

I do not think bad about people that gets out and works and leaves their kids with relatives or daycare.

Everyone should worry about their own life and not everyone else's.

By the way i am not lazy, i have a life & i chose to be a stay at home mom. I love it and if someone has a problem with it then i cannot help it, it's my life and i will live it the way i want.

Answer 3

don't know why they get upset but i know what you're talking about.  i wanted to stay home with mine as my husband was making good money.  he said we couldn't on his pay.  well he just meant that he wouldn't have enough play money if i quit.  he left when she was 8 months and i had to support us on my pay.

i feel like i short changed her by working all the time.  i had my parents to fill in for school programs and such, so she didn't miss out.  but i still feel guilty about missing a lot of her life.