Who are we going to contact about stolen precious trees in the UK?

Question

My wife and I have planted these beautiful Irish Yew trees 35 years ago when we married, they were presents from the town folks of Little Saxham when we received them they were little saplings and we really took good care of. UNTIL, last week when we went to the opening of the annual British Crabbing Championship in Walberswick which we enjoyed tremendously except for that weird couple that sold s***w&Bold pies. Anyway when we returned home Lord behold someone hacked our beloved trees down and stole them. Now I am not sure to call Scotland Yard or the city council chairman, this was such a lovely neighborhood till last week.

Now what are we going to do?

These were my trees...*cries*

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http://www.molashpc.kentparishes.gov.uk/userfiles/Image/Molash_Green.jpg

Answer 1

This is a very serious matter, very serious indeed. I would contact the yard, and also the high sheriff and other Noble men...

Answer 2

I suspect a fuzzy bear wielding a hatchet.  I was at the festival and it was very suspicious, this 4" ursine with an axe to grind was going around whispering to trees, "are you Yewish?  You don't look Yewish" and then whackety whack.  I didn't think much of it, but now I see he was only practicing for the big stuff.  I am sorry for your loss.  Stealing trees is a high crime in the U.S.

Answer 3

Its a tragedy, Oh wo wo oh! We must act to stop further instances. Please send map references of any other Irish Yew trees that you know of that may need protection due to their isolated location and easy access from the road. I think Walnut, Wych Elm and Laburnum may also be at risk so be sure to let me know of any so that they can be sheltered by my fundamentalist tree protection militia, Al Qatreeda

Answer 4

The sappy tree police I suppose.

Answer 5

Time to call a hitman. I hate people who destroy trees. Call lefty louie, he'll put you in touch wid someone.