Who do invite to the rehearsal dinner?

Question

for our rehersal dinner, is it ok to invite just the people in the wedding party, their signifagent other, and our parents? Do we have to invite grandparents and out of town guests? I'm so sick of spending money on this wedding, but I also don't want to be rude...help please...

Answer 1

Traditionally, you have to invite your wedding party and parents.  Out of town guests is a new thing, however, you may want to at least suggest some activities for them to do in your area if you do not include them.  OR you could have the dinner with your wedding party and have them join you for drinks after the meal (make sure you tell them "cash bar").

Answer 2

Ummmm. Grandparents yes I think so. Out of town guests probably not.  

Answer 3

I know what you mean about spending so much money on your wedding. Etiquette typically says that you should obviously invite your wedding party and immediate family members and out of town guests as this is a way to spend time with each other because face it you wont have too much time during the reception, etc(unless they are staying quite a long time)..with that being said, you should budget yourself accordingly on who you want to and who you cant/dont want to invite..just be cautious on how you present this(can hurt feelings, etc)

Answer 4

I'm sick of spending money too. My wedding is on Sept 6th...coming up! Ahhh! Anyway, I'm also sick of all the formalities. I decided I wanted something more laid back in place of a rehearsal dinner. I'm like, things are gonna be so formal and planned out the next day...I just want to relax and have a good time. I also wanted to include my family coming in from out of state since they are traveling so far and they would normally not be included in a rehearsal dinner. Soooo....instead of a rehearsal dinner after the rehearsal....Our parents are putting on a family picnic for bridal party, parents, grandparents, immediate families...and the people that are coming in from around the country. That may seem like a lot; however, my wedding is only 90 people anyway and all the people that I just mentioned equal to 40. It's easy to rent a pavillion at a state park and cook burgers, hotdogs, etc...relax, play some games....and once again, RELAX! The cost of picnic food for more people will equal or be less than the cost of food at a restaurant for just the bridal party, parents and grandparents. In my opinion. I'm not telling you to do this...but you just reminded me of how I felt and am telling you what I decided on. Good luck! By the way...are your parents putting it on for you? That should help you out on the spending money situation. Not saying they have to, but it is customary for grooms parents to help with rehearsal dinner.  

Answer 5

Bride and Groom

Parents of Bride and Groom

Wedding part Brides maids and ushers

Flower girl and Ring bearer

and closest friends that helped with preparations

reason for all of these because this dinner is usually held right after the rehearsal

Answer 6

Only the people who are IN the wedding party, and if you want then person who is marrying you & their spouse.

No other people are invited because they are not in the wedding

Answer 7

Where does it say you have free lunch for everyone? invite those closest to you & that is all! Give a small token of thanks to those who help you the most.

Answer 8

You have it: the rehearsal dinner is specifically for the people who have to be at the rehearsal, and their immediate adult family -- that's spouses and fiances, for the ones who are married or engaged; and parents for the ones who are under sixteen or are getting married.

Sometimes the mother of the groom gives the rehearsal dinner as her chance to "shine" socially -- or, to *outshine* the mother of the bride if she feels competitive and the bride's mother is the one giving the reception. And in that case the spirit of social competition may lead her to invite additional guests such as grandparents and out-of-towners. It isn't a terribly noble motivation, and it certainly isn't necessary. Feel free not to emulate the desire to show-off, and just entertain the people who are standing up on your behalf.

Answer 9

I have been to rehearsal dinners that included only the bridal party, their guests and the parents and I've been to ones that include everyone under the sun, so I think whatever you choose is fine.  Actually, I've been to more that don't include people not involved in the wedding ceremony than ones that invite everyone.

Answer 10

for ours we had the wedding party, parents, and the officiant and his wife.  We also invited one of my husband's friends and his wife because they helped me setting the night before and did the vidoegraphy for the wedding.  In your case i would do wedding party, parents, and grandparents.  Invite others if you wish but explain to them it's dutch treat.

Answer 11

You should invite grandparents if they are being seated as part of the wedding processional, because they need to be there to know what to do. But you are not obligated to invite out-of-town guests who are not participating in the ceremony.

FYI, you should invite the person officiating your wedding (priest, pastor, etc) to the rehearsal dinner. This person is a huge part of the wedding and it's polite to invite them, even though they may choose not to attend.

Answer 12

The rule of etiquette is all members of the wedding party and their spouses or significant others, parents and grandparents of the bride and groom, all out of town guests (they did travel from far just to attend your wedding) and any other close family members that you wish to invite.

Answer 13

Hi.  You are totally correct.  You invite everyone IN the wedding...

~ bridesmaids and groomsmen along with their spouse or significant other.  

~ parents

~ flower girl and ring bearer (if having them) AND, of course, their parents.

Optional:

~ minister and his/her spouse (if getting married in a church)

~ grandparents

~ out of town FAMILY.

You do NOT need to invite out of town guests.  Possibly out-of-town FAMILY, if you want, as I listed above.

That's it!  Good luck!

Answer 14

I plan on inviting parents, grandparents, wedding party and their spouses/children. You don't need out of towners. My soon to be brother in law had a c**p load of people and its just too much money!

Answer 15

It depends.  Some etiquette books say that you should always invite your out-of-town guests and others say it depends on your relationship to them.  

The wedding party, significant others, flower girl and ring bearer and their parents, bride and groom's grandparents, officiant and their spouse - these are the people who have to be at the rehearsal and therefore they get invited to the rehearsal dinner.  

When my daughter got married, the rehearsal dinner also included my husband's best friend and wife as well as one of my husband's step-brothers and wife.  The best friend is closer than a lot of relatives.  And although the step-brother isn't particularly close to any of us, his dad (my husband's step-father, and the only grandpa my daughter has ever had on her dad's side)  was going to be at the dinner and we wanted to be sure that the step-brother had that time with his dad.  

The groom's mom had some friends who she invited as well.  These were people she'd been friends with for years and her son had known all his life.  They had no where else to go that evening except their hotel room, so it just made sense to include them.

So .... after you invite the wedding party, SO's, grandparents ... it's up to your budget to determine who else gets an invitation.