Who do women stay in abusive relationships?

Question

In particular, women who are not financially dependent on their abuser.

Answer 1

Low self-esteem, fear, mental instability.  

Answer 2

Sometimes I don't think women realize they are being abused until its too late

http://tomhollerusedme.blogspot.com/

Answer 3

Because if the only they know and in consequence they feel comfortable. Her parents abused her mothers and they repeat the model until they go to therapy and the dysfunctional circle stop.

Answer 4

Fear.

Answer 5

Fear, insecurity, stupidity, low self esteem, you think they will change, you think you love them, they say they will change, its not ALWAYS like that, we want to save them, we are embarressed, we have no where to go, everyone will tell you 'I told you so'...the list goes one.  These reasons were my reasons for staying in an abusive relationship for 5 wasted years that included beatings, black eyes, forcing me to drive around naked - you know the usual stuff : )   I am, however, over it now (finally yay!!!) and love my life.  I know it sounds wierd but if I hadnt had that relationship, my path would not have led me to my most recent partner with whom I have an amazing son. Dont believe the rubbish that broken people attract each other yada yada yada.  I wasnt broken until I met my abusive partner.

Answer 6

A number of reasons.  Fear, emotional dependence, feelings of worthlessness, or being unable to take care of themselves.  Occasionally,  maybe peer pressure, public image, or sexual reasons.  Sometimes women choose abusers because they remind them of their father at a deep level.  They may feel they could not win their father's love, but that they will do what they can to win it from the abuser, though it is not possible.  Their is often co-dependency.  These women are addicted to approval and fixing others and team up with partners who can never give them approval.

The thing about abusers is that they break down the self-esteem and make the women feel like nothing without them.  Then there are the abusers who feel like they own you and will resort to violence to keep their ego from being hurt when you leave.

There is also misinformation and blackmail.  They are told there are no places to turn or that others won't believe them if they tell.  They are told nobody wants them, that there is no help, and that they lack job skills to be able to run their own lives.  They are sometimes enticed into committing crimes for the abuser then that is used against them to make them stay.  "Oh, if you leave, the cops will arrest you."

Answer 7

Codependency, stupidity, fear and negative self validation.

Answer 8

psychological/mental/emotional abuse is not easy to get seperate oneself from

..hope ur not the abuser..

Answer 9

Women stay in abusive relationships for many reasons. There are also many types of abusive relationships.

Even if people don't want to admit it, human's are very easy to manipulate. Typically abuse doesn't start until well after a relationship is established. By that point the woman has already fallen in love and once it's gone that far, it's hard for anyone to break of a relationship.

Generally it starts off with one minor incident. Usually a heated argument where both parties are mad at each other. When emotions are running high like that many things can happen. Usually the male will smack the woman across the face or push her down/into a wall.

Later, once things have cooled down, the man will come back with many apologies and baring gifts. Since it's never happen before and it's easy for most to under how another person could get mad and hit someone(c'mon we've all had that feeling before) usually all is forgiven.

However, from this point on a pattern typically starts. Usually fights/disagreements, angry words, a smack or push and then apologies. Then things escalate to punching out of frustration or stress along with anger. Eventually it gets so bad that the woman finally realizes things will never change and she seriously needs to get help from someone.

The top reasons why women stay in abusive relationships are

-fear of violence committed against other family members

-fear of no one believing them

-fear their abuser will still find them and then kill them

-misinformation about where to go or what to do

-insecurity

-dependency

-wish to provide a mother/father home for children

-love

It's easy for people to tell another to leave an abusive relationship or to call a person in such a relationship stupid but there is so much more than just the physical.

Abusive relationships are mental mind game as well as physical punishment for whatever the abuser has come up with.

Answer 10

Because broken people are drawn to other broken people.  Behaviors in a partner that would have healthy women running out the door don't affect them in the same way.  Their own history of abuse has trained them to learn not to act on signs of danger.  They have had to suppress these feelings.   Gavin de Becker talks about this at some length in his groundbreaking book, "The Gift of Fear".  These women have had a history of abuse, including but not limited to sexual abuse, going back to childhood.  Abuse is all they know.

As described below, there are so many factors involved that this forum doesn't permit adequate discussion.

Answer 11

i think it's a mixture of both fear, and insecurity. fear that if they break it off with whomever they are in the abusive relationship in, they may never find anyone else again. Also, woman often fear that it's their fault, even when it is not.