Who do you agree with..my husband or my dad?

Question

My husband and I own a store that sells used tools. My dad called us up and said he had a very large tool he wanted to sell for $800 and wanted to know if he could put it in our store to sell it. My dad said to my husband "if you sell this I'll make it worth your while" So my husband said "Oh like getting a cut?" my dad said "um"..so anyways the huge tool took up lots of space and finally it sold. My hubby called my dad and told him. My husband then said "What about my cut?" My dad quickly hung up saying he had to go. Mom called later and said dad was upset that hubby asked for a cut b/c we a re family and that's what family's for. My husband says business is seperate from family and my dad should have offered something, since without the store that we pay $ for the item wouldn't have sold.He also thinks it's wrong my dad offered in the first place. Dad thinks it doesn't matter and hubby should let it go. Family does favors for family and you hubby shouldn't ask for $ since he didn't really DO anything

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Who do you agree with?

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Me, I kind of agree with both of them..I can see what my husband means, but I can also see where my dad is coming from

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Sorry it's so long

Answer 1

I think you and your mother should stay out of it.  let the men handle it between themselves.  If your husband is set on a price for placing the tool in his shop then have he deduct that amount and then pay your father.  If your father is upset and wants to rant and rave direct him to your husband.

Answer 2

your dad shouldnt get upset about it. if he didnt want to give a cut he should have made that perfectly clear to your husband rather than saying 'um.' But i agree with your husband, family and business are seperate. My mum does my aunts hair (as she is a hair dresser) and still charges her. If she had offered to cut my autns her then she would not charge.

Answer 3

If it wasn't for your store it wouldn't have gone sold as fast as it did.

yes family is family and business is business in this case business won.  Dad should pay alittle something something to ur hubby that would clear this up if they want to b mad at each other so b it someone will grow up eventually. I too can c both their point of views but oh well se la vie. DAD GIVE UR SON IN LAW HIS CUT AND LET IT GO U SHOULD HAVE NEVER SUGGESTED TO TAKE IT TO THEIR STORE IF U DID NOT PLAN ON GIVING THEM SOMETHING ATLEAST PAY FOR THE SPACE THEY HAD TO USE ( RENT ). sorry so blunt but this is the obivious. BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WATER. I hope everything works out for you girl. Good Luck!!!

Answer 4

assuming your dad is not in a financial situation, i'd say it was real real SMALL of him to say and do the things he did.  now, it would be really really BIG of your hubby to let it go.  just drop it and love them both.

Answer 5

Looking at this from a purely business perspective. You're husband agreed to sell the tool without any kind of contract, verbal or otherwise, to receive a cut. "Uhm" is not a verbal contract nor an agreement to terms. So from that perspective, if business is truly separate from family as your husband says,  your dad is correct. Your husband screwed up by not setting the terms to an agreed contract.

Answer 6

Your dad took advantage of your husband, and then lay a guilt trip on him saying "he's family".

I allowed family to do this to me.  I do some catering and I was asked to cater a smallish wedding reception.  I did.  When I approached the family memeber with the bill they refused to pay because we are "family".

I was so upset.  I spent almost $500 on that reception and got not one penny.  after that when family members request something I always say..."yes I will do it and because you are family I will knock 10% off the cost" ...or something to that affect.

Let them know right up front that you need to make a living too!!

Answer 7

Not wanting to create any form of anxiety or anything but I have to side with your husband here.  Truth is it is not wise to mix family and business as you two are learning quickly.  It is your husbands business and your father did take up a lot of space.  Perhaps husband could cut dad a bit of a deal, if he regularly gets 20% - 30% for commission maybe he could settle for 10% - 15%.  Regardless, a lesson learned so in the future be careful when family/friends ask you two to help them sell their items.  Best of luck.

Answer 8

Yeah, I can see both sides, too...although your Dad did say he "would make it worth your while".

I'd drop it, but never take anything into the store from him again!

Answer 9

Let it go, but before you do, I would be clear with your father.  Tell him that he told your husband that it would be worth it, and now is going back on his word.  Tell him you'll do it this once, because he is family, but that you are not willing to sell anything for him again, without a written contract, or he can take his business elsewhere.

Answer 10

I have to agree with your husband on this one. Even though there was not a written agreement, there was a verbal agreement of sorts. If your Dad said "I will make it worth your while" that constitutes a verbal agreement. The bad thing is, you have no idea what your Dad meant by that statement.

This is a classic case of being taken advantage of by a family member. Your Hubby is right, business is seperate from family. Unfortunately to keep peace, it would be better to just let it go. In the future though if your Dad wants anything sold thru your store, I would definitely have a legal paper written up.Who knows, maybe one day your Dad will surprise you & your Hubby & give you something for selling the tool. Good Luck!  =o`)

Answer 11

I can see where your husband is coming from but it is family and family does favors. Should have your dad offered? Yes, but is he obligated? No.

Answer 12

Back out as gracefully as you can and let them settle it among themselves.  If you must, tell them both it was not kosher to involve you in such a decision and let this reaffirm 1) Never enter a money dispute between relatives 2) Never ask a relative to teach you to drive.

Answer 13

Since there appears to be an agreement for your husband (or your store) to receive payment for selling the item, I have to agree with your husband.

Yes, family does favors for family, BUT, it doesn't seem to apply in this situation.  Your dad told your husband he would make it worth his while which sounds like he was intending to compensate your husband.  He didn't ask your husband to simply put the tool in the store...he said he would make it worth his while without any negotiating by your husband.  In other words, your husband didn't ask him what he would get in return for selling the tool....your dad offered first, so the point goes to your husband.  Tell your dad to pay up.

Answer 14

your dad should pay the man, he used up space in HIS store ans does not want to pay up. how would ure dad sell it without the store, why didnt he do that? I think your dad is being really selfish. side with your husband....

Answer 15

Well this situation is a bit harder to decide who is right and who is wrong. The best solution... one of them should be the bigger man and drop it and never bring it up again. This is sooo not worth a family dispute. Perhaps in the future keep business and family separate to prevent any issues or at least be clear about the expectations of any business agreements.

Good luck.

Answer 16

I agree with your husband a little more than your dad. Looking at it from a business perspective, dad should have offered a cut.  

I think that because it was family, your husband assumed dad would do the right thing. Had this been someone else there would have been a written agreement.

Answer 17

I am with you on this one, and I agree with the both of them. I think it was nice of your husband to let your dad use the store as a way to sell his tool, and that your dad out of appreciation, should help by giving you all a little cut of the money.

I think the best thing that can be done now that they can't come to an agreement would be to just drop it, and move on. Otherwise there always going to be fighting.

Answer 18

Your husband is probably right, though he should just chalk it up to doing business with family and not ask or ever mention $$ again.  I've seen families torn apart by an old and not particularly valuable set of china so I would just let it go...never mention it again...and never do business with family again.