Who do you have less respect for...?

Question

A man who beats his wife or girlfriend, or the woman who allows it to happen by staying with him even after all the abuse?

Answer 1

The abuser...sometimes its very hard to leave an abusive person...

especially when they threaten to kill you.

Answer 2

The abuser.  Because he knows better than to do that.

Not the abused, because she, obviously, is very forgiving, and wants to set a good example for the abuser, and wants to show love.

Answer 3

I have NO respect for anyone who beats their significant other.  This includes same gender relationships.  

The person who is the victim of the abuse should not be to blame.  There are many different factors involved, and instead of judging people, we need to be available to help those who need help.

Everyone's situation is different.  I would never blame the victim of a crime, and "have less respect" for them, when it is someone who clearly needs help, whether they recognize that themselves or not.

Answer 4

It is not matter of respect and this question is very gynocentric.

Answer 5

The abusers those j*ckass who do they think they are.

Answer 6

Your question makes it sound as though the victim of the abuse is also the cause. Maybe you've never been in love?

Answer 7

What if BOTH people abuse each other?

I have lost  respect for my parents who abuse each other and then they cry to their Friends he/she beat me again.

they BOTH do it to each other so I have ZERO respect for them they they are BOTH STUPID and CHILDISH.

Now for your question. violence is bad enough but when the one who loves you beats you that is the worse. why do they stay FEAR or they think they can change the person who is doing the abusing.

BOTH Men & Women are victims of violence BOTH can be  the  abuser. who do I have less respect for? I feel bad for BOTH of them why? because they BOTH are victims.

violence knows no gender. God Bless

Answer 8

the man who chooses to put his hands on another which is also against the law.  A few years in jail cures most cowards.

Answer 9

The abuser

Answer 10

That's a tough call. I wouldn't say I have much "respect" for either of them.

The image of the innocent victim being trapped and abused by the horrible Ogre is a common perception, but I've seen women fight tooth and nail defending the guy who almost killed them, and getting really angry at anyone who suggests they leave. In cases like that, they deserve each other.

LESS for him, but little for either...

Answer 11

I have absolutely no respect for anyone who abuses another human being.  

A woman is at greatest risk when she leaves her abuser.

Answer 12

The person doing the beating of the other is much worse. The person getting the abuse is too scared to do anything, since they've have probably been threatened with death if they try to run.

Answer 13

I have no respect for people that blame the victim in domestic violence relationships..I will tell you that.  If you disrespect the woman who stays in the relationship, you need to do your research.

Why women stay in these relationships is psychologically complicated, but they are in such a state where they need others to help realize that they shouldn't stay. It all has to do with what kind of family a woman grew up in, how her abuser has tarnished her self-esteem and has influenced her into thinking that she can't leave or improve the situation, fear, helpelessness, etc.   It's not that easy to just get up and leave.

Answer 14

The abuser because he uses physical and mental abuse that leads the woman to fear him and fear leaving him, therefore staying for 'security' and taking the abuse.

Answer 15

the abuser whu does it ..

its easy to lash out on the victim tat why didnt u complain ..but in many cases ..the victim is weaker (physically ,emotionally,financially,,dependent on the others fr security) ..is ignorant .or is unheard for...

Answer 16

How could I have less respect for the victim? A person who is an abuser makes the conscious decision to act this way. Everyones situation is different in real life it can be tougher than you would think to get out of an abusive situation. Some women who are abused can't leave because he is controlling her life such as her money and privileges. I have never been in such a situation therefore I believe that it is best to be understanding.

Answer 17

The situation; him being the abuser and she being the one who decides to stay.  Also when the same goes when the situation is reversed; it's always the situation; never the people.

Answer 18

in a relationship  that started with intense love it takes a long time for the woman to leave because the cycle of abuse is usaually abuse- intense apology and a short period of extreme bliss- followed by abuse again. Its a pattern that both partners often fail to recognise until someone from the outside sees it. Both need help as even the woman gets psychologically tuned to bear up with this behaviour hoping for the post-abuse love period to come faster and it usually comes only after another abuse

Answer 19

Neither. From experience I can tell you that repect begins with yourself and if you allow yourself to be in that situation you don't have any self respect, why should anyone else have it for you?

Answer 20

the abuser sometimes the woman is scared too get away

Answer 21

The abuser. Oftentimes the woman doesn't intend to allow it to happen--she is caught up in the cycle of domestic violence, where she wants to leave, but psychologically can't leave. That's oftentimes not her doing, but is instead symptomatic of her beating--think of a kicked animal that still wants attention from its owner, if you want a basic example (note: this is NOT meant to say that abused women are animals or that the abusers are owners; take the example as it's meant.)

However, it isn't all-or-nothing for the abuser: The abuser oftentimes (a majority of the time) is abused himself, and is just perpetuating a cycle as well. However, as the wrongdoer, he bears the legal and, I'd argue, moral burden to a greater extent.

(NB: My answer assumes the man is the abuser; the woman is abused. Obviously, this can involve a woman as the abuser and a man as victim, or two people of the same gender--but I'll stick with the example for clarity.)

Answer 22

I'd say I have less respect for the man.  Abusers, Man OR woman have an excellent way of manipulating and brainwashing.  They manage to make these women/men feel as if they are not worth anything.  Some might say, "This could never happen to me" but believe me, my Mom works at a women's shelter.  There are women in there from all walks of life, intelligent women from good backgrounds.  No one should be blamed for enduring abuse.

Answer 23

Here is an unpopular opinion:-

Perhaps there wasn't the years of physical abuse. Some women at least lie about the DV to obtain sympathy. The reason that such a woman stayed for such a long time was because there wasn't DV as she has claimed or perhaps to the degree she is claiming.

BTW: I do not condone physical violence by men OR by women.

Answer 24

The person doing it because the person standing for it is vulnerable and weak mentally.

Answer 25

You have got to be kidding asking this question.  The jackass, male or female, who is the perpetrator of the violence, not the victim, is not worthy of any sort of respect.

Answer 26

Since there is a mental disorder to excuse the behavior of the abused, obviously I have less respect for the man.  However, that opinion changes the second after they have a child.  Any woman who knowingly exposes her children to an abusive situation deserves no respect.

Answer 27

Women let men abuse them for all kinds of reasons, including that the way they grew up makes them think that it is normal ( ME ).  The abuser is deplorible for exploiting the weakness they have seen in the abused.

Answer 28

The perpetrator is always more responsible than the object.

Cheers :-)

Answer 29

the person who is doing the abusing is more deplorable imo.

Answer 30

Definitely the abuser, but it can be frustrating when the victim leaps to the defence of the abuser. In fact some of these relationships are co-dependent i.e. each is supporting the other's behaviour.

Answer 31

I'll have respect for both of them as human beings but I'd call them all kinds of names behind their backs AND IN THEIR FACES - they're just silly and need attention I think....