Who ever deleted my question..I want to know why?? In the adoption forum?

Question

Why is that people refuse to recongize that some adopted children may feel this way?--this was an honest question that I asked. Yes, i did feel like i was being attacked in reading certain answers. So that is why i asked the question. I feel that by removing my question you vaildated what i have been feeling, that i'm worthless.

Answer 1

I did not report it either. In fact, I came looking for it because it bugged me all evening and I wanted to respond to it. Healing adoptee, just wanted you to know that I find your posts (questions and answers) quite enlightening- particularly since we have a transracial adoption. I think that some adopted children do have problems and that the adoption industry needs to be fixed, by the way.

Answer 2

You got reported, Yahoo deleted your question.

Ive seen you rant about adpotees or whatever before.  saying "not all feel that way".  well, maybe you should tell yourself that.  they can have their opinion, just like you can.

.

Answer 3

It wasn't me; I would never have done that to you.  Your feelings are honest for you, but please understand that not all adoptees share your views.

I have three adopted children, and I don't think they feel the way you do, but if they ever did, I'd certainly reassure them that they are not worthless in any way, shape or form.  I can't imagine loving them any more if they were my biological children.

Answer 4

Healing, I know you probably won't believe me, but it honestly wasn't me.  I just logged on to check my answers and was surprised myself to see it gone.

For what it's worth, I see no reason for it to have been reported, certainly not deleted.

And please don't ever say that you are worthless.  Nobody, and I mean nobody in this forum is worthless, I actually value the things you say more than you probably realise (even though we don't always see eye to eye!), and as I said in my original answer, I welcome eveybody's opinions, and I encourage you and everyone else to keep speaking your own truth.

Answer 5

you are a wonderful, worthwhile human being. i have recently been on the site and i have always thought that you have expressed yourself very well. you write things that others don't want to hear or feel. it's too scarey for them to realize the issues that you are dealing with. not all AP's want to hear that their children are going to have a natural inclination, at least if they are normal, to find out their biological roots. we ALL have that need, weather or not we are adopted. it threatens alot of people. good grief, they even have pedigrees on horses and dogs... how is a person any different?

not all adoptees are where you are right now, because they may be scared of what they will find out, so they block it out. you are raising some valid issues and concerns and because of people like you, there will be changes made in the adoption laws. things have been changing gradually, but now that we have the internet and people, such as yourself, who get on and can express your feelings, a camaraderie is beginning. Adoptees no longer feel alone and isolated. they have people they can bond with and get together and demand changes in the laws.

you are a mover and shaker. your mom sounds like she was a wonderful lady, and i'm sorry for your loss. she was very unselfish by saying, "go find your birthmom, and thank her for me." or something to that effect.

a word of caution. don't use your main account for this forum. get a secondary account, so that if someone is stalking you, which can happen, if your account gets shut down, it won't affect your main account.

just a note to anyone who cyberstalks or cyberbullies, it's a felony. even though yahoo doesn't do anything about it, an individual can. if your not familiar with the terminology, or what constitutes as cyberstalking or cyberbullying, i highly recommend you look into it, because ever keystroke you make is traceable. based on what this poster is saying, i think that if it continues she has a valid case. use your thumbs key if you want to express your opinion. or edit some comments in. don't think you can hide behind your keyboard.

Answer 6

Healing,

Check your e-mail.  Your question has probably been deleted.  

I guess you've drifted over too far, being more honest (they see it as cruel, angry, bitter, etc).

What they don't want to believe to be true they try to squash.  If they silence you, than it doesn't exist.

It's hard to accept, I know.  I spent years wishing I wasn't adopted, but my wish never came true.

Now, the ones who stay until it gets too hot (truthful) try to shut out the experiences, feelings, and knowledge of the ones who tell the truth.

They remind me of Carmela, the wife character from the Sopranos.  Once when Carmela went to a shirnk to talk about her husband's (and ultimately her) life of crime, she told the doctor of all the new things she'd learned--that her husband had killed people, etc.

The doctor said to her "you have choices, you can stay, knowing what you know, or you can leave.  But you can NEVER say you didn't KNOW".

They don't want to know, Healing.

Eggshell alert: No, my analogy doesn't mean that APs are in the Mafia...

Answer 7

It's far too easy to have a question (or an answer) deleted.  Yahoo won't even tell you what rule was broken - because you don't need to break any of the rules, just make one person angry.  So don't take it personally.  Just move on.

Answer 8

I don't know what question you mean (I don't come in here often), but if it was unfair to be reported, you should appeal it.  This is happening so much now, perfectly reasonable questions are being deleted because of differences of opinions.  If that's the case, appeal it and good luck.

ETA:  Nobody is worthless.  Everybody's feelings are valid, understandable and right for them.  Please don't let an anonymous, public forum make you feel like that.  Ask your question again, and remember that you are always entitled to your opinions!

Answer 9

you are not worthless.

Answer 10

Hmmm, I've never seen you rant. You always have very honest heartfelt answers and I was shocked to read that your question was deleted. I'd appeal it if I were you.

Adoptees who talk about their not so pleasant feelings with adoption scare people. People don't want to hear the other side because they don't want to think even for a second that their child might feel the same.

Don't take it personally - it's their issue - it's all about them, not you. You just continue to speak your mind and help yourself heal.