Who gets invited to the baby shower? ?

Question

My sis-in-law is pregnant w/her 1st :) I am throwing her a shower. She & my bro live about 2hrs away from the rest of the family, and as a result she really doesn't know our family that well. So I was planning on inviting just immediate family members & close family friends.

My mom thinks we should invite a lot distant relatives as well as a bunch of my mom's friends who don't know SIL at all. When I point out that SIL doesn't know any of these people & will probably be pretty uncomfortable, mom just says, "But it's *my* first grandchild"

I try to tell her that the shower isn't for her, it is for the mother to be. Mom just continues to pout, "It's *my* first grandchild." So, wise women of Y!A ~ who is right here, me or mom?

Answer 1

check it out with the SIL. Its her party! haha I know all about the overbearing grandmothers to be. My fiancé's mom drives me crazy sometimes!  if the SIL is ok with all the extra people being invited then thats cool (more people=more gifts after all haha) Just be sure to have people there that will make her comfortable and keep her in her zone:)

Answer 2

I would invite whomever you would like.  If they come then good but if not, oh well. You just never know who might decide to actually come. Honestly...I had more people give me gift cards through the mail or drop them by then come.  They still wanted to get me gifts but just couldnt make it. Thats really a point for baby shower anywayl.. the gifts.  And the more people you invite, the more gifts! lol.  People love babies... you will be suprised the gifts you may get from random people! People just wanting to say congrats and want to help :) A baby is a blessing!

Answer 3

Invite EVERYONE. Let them make the choice of comming or not comming. This way no one gets hurt because they werent invited AND SIL gets more gifts if they do come. She did marry into the family so she should meet them at some point in time.

For my daughters 2nd birthday i didnt invite alot of people because I didnt think that they would want to come to a toddlers bday. BIG mistake, people called me actually mad because they werent invited. Once I explained my reasoning they calmed down a bit but it wasnt fun lemme tell you.  

Answer 4

i think when it comes to showers, the more the merrier. I was going to throw a shower for my SIL but I was too heavily pregnant myself and felt sick so couldnt ;( But yeah I think let her invite the distant relatives, after all, they are related to that baby too in some form! and I'm sure your sil will like the fact that so many people came to her shower. when my mom threw a shower for me she invited my boyfriend's (he is the father) distant relatives and some of them came. so I don't think there's anything wrong with doing that. and i dont think she will be uncomfortable but flattered. just be sure to invite plenty of her relatives like parents siblings aunts cousins grandparents etc too as well as all her friends.

and like you said a lot live out of town so who knows hardly any of them may come but the ones who do come will be a good thing.  

Answer 5

I feel that only people the mother of the baby would want there should be there. I'm sorry but you're going to have to tell grandma that it is not about her. If she wants to have a party that is centered around her, then she should adopt or have a child herself.

Sorry if I seem rude, but this is just how I feel.

Answer 6

extended family? yeah, of course. even if they dont attend, they might send a gift. your mom's friends? nope sorry grandma, not unless they know the mother-to-be and she actually likes them. Also, you could ask your sis-in-law who to invite, since its her shower.

Answer 7

You're right on this one.  It's not your mom's shower it's your SIL's.  Invite the close family and friends only.  After the baby they can send birth announcements out to the extended family and if they then choose to send a gift, then it's an unexpected surprise.  But to invite the extended, distant family and your mom's friends WOULD make it awkward for your SIL and your mom needs to butt out.  You don't want to invite everyone under the son - it looks like one is begging for gifts.  Her friends can throw her a shower all her own. My mom's friends did - got her things to keep at her house so that I didn't have to lug a bunch of stuff back and forth.  It was lovely.

Answer 8

We invited my mom's close friends, my close friends, all my in laws, my husband's close female friends, my husband's close male friends' spouses, and all my family (even distant)....just because your sister in law isn't close to them doesn't mean your brother isn't close to them ;) Her baby shower is about celebrating the birth of a baby, not celebrating her specifically so it shouldn't matter how well she knows them...my inlaws (even those I didn't know well) would have been hurt if they weren't invited...my mom's friends would have been equally hurt.

Answer 9

l too agree ,check it out with your sl. am thinking there is a lot of activities that will be done when the baby is born . so everyone with get a chance to be around

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