Who had a lousy proposal?

Question

Has it affected your marriage?

My proposal was awful. Basically we were filling in paperwork for the union (common law spouse benefit information) and he said "Y'know, it would be easier to get married." And that was it. No declarations of love, no thought, no ring. It still bothers me, I wish we hadn't gotten married, and I think the barely there proposal was a sign.

Just curious about other people's experience.

Answer 1

Your predicament was prominently featured in an episode of s*x AND THE CITY, THE HBO series now in repeats in syndication.  In that episode, Charlotte was dismayed, to say the least, when not only did Trey McDougal not propose to her as anticipated while dining together, all he had to say in response to her "I think we should get married." was the following terse reply:  "All righty".

Latter, Charlottle lamented to Carrie, the show's protagonist, about the complete lack of romance in the exchange; and the horror of having to recount to the pair's couple-to-be the story of how the two ended up marrying.

Sometimes it is better to look at your "glass" as half-full, rather than half-empty, GET IT?  That's what I advise.

Answer 2

I don't actually think the proposal makes the marriage

Answer 3

My parents was rubbish

My mum said to my dad 'y'know, maybe we should get married or summink'

But thats hasn't affected there relationship. 15 years on and there still going on strong.

Answer 4

awhh thats sad. Im so sorry. but it shouldnt matter how its done just that you love the person.

Answer 5

I'll admit that I was disappointed with my proposal, but I got over it.  The sense I get from your post is that you weren't really happy with his REASONS for wanting to marry you, and that  you never really discussed it before you guys got married.  We had a lot of talks of about why we wanted to get married before we did it, and all those discussions and reasons we have for marrying each other seem to matter much more than just the short proposal.

Answer 6

not exactly magical... but if you love eachother, be gratefull for him and quit dwelling on the past.

Answer 7

I wouldn't call mine Lousy but I did know when it was going happen.

The day before my Husband to be ask for my fathers hand in marriage. He was pretty vocal about it because I heard the whole thing...

The week before we asked me my ring size.

The day of the proposal he took me horse back riding and then proposed on the beach...When we were getting out of the car, he told me to wait a minute. I knew it was coming...It was romantic tho

Answer 8

wow you song really romantic!

i was 17 & i knew he was gonna propose cuz of how he was acting, so i brought my camera & gave it to his bestfriend when he was about to do it!  so i have pics... we was at a church fair in the parking lot under a tree.  kinda plain!  4 yr ann this november

Answer 9

aww that's horrible! i'm sorry...

well i haven't been proposed to yet, but i hope he does it right. i'll have my friend nudge him and say, "when you ask her to marry you, remember to make it romantic"

my dad really didn't propose to my mom, they just talked about it for awhile and decided to tie the knot. my parents have been married for 20 years and they've known each other for 30 years, so it didn't have a negative effect on their marriage.

i'm sure your marriage will last.

Answer 10

My boyfriend told me he asked his previous wife "if you can get us married in 24 hours, I will marry you"

Can you imagine that?!  And she did it!

Apparently they were very happily married until she died after about 12 years of marriage. He will never get over it.

Answer 11

my sister-in-law proposed to my bother and how it happened was just... strange. she said that while they were having s*x, it was so "nice" that when they were finished SHE proposed!.... 5 years in counting.

Answer 12

I'm still pretty certain my guy had only intended to ask me to move in with him!  However, I didn't expect him to suave, sophisticated and really romantic when he isn't ordinarily anyway.  I think  a proposal is fairly anxiety producing.  I mean, how much of a fool would you feel if she said no?  I would have to look at the whole picture to before assuming that a proposal was just a harbinger of what was to come.  I've heard some really great public proposals with a divorce a few years later.

Answer 13

My first was awful.  He proposed in a pancake house just before the waitress came to take our order.  No ring, didn't take a knee, nothing.  Just asked.

My cousin's proposal wasn't even a proposal.  She and her boyfriend were looking at photo albums and he just said, "We should probably start planning our wedding at some point."  About a week later, he came home with an engagement ring box and set it on the table and said, "I guess you can start wearing that now."

My marriage lasted 7 years.  My cousin has been married for 24 years and is still going strong.  I don't think you can tell from the proposal.

Answer 14

Well, actually my mother says she had a proposal from my Dad that didn't take much planning. He just hid the ring in her chest of draws under some clothes.

Answer 15

Men have trouble articulating their feelings.  And some men's brains just don't work.  But instead of telling him you wanted a proper proposal, you accepted it & married him.

There is more to this than the lousy marriage proposal.  Talk to him about what's really going on & find a marriage counselor this week.

Answer 16

You know, life isn't perfect....PEOPLE aren't perfect. If the two of you are still together AND happy, then I say let it go. I've been married 25 years, and much of it hasn't turned out the way we imagined or planned but there has been 1 constant which is our deep love and commitment to each other and our children. Don't blame the proposal or lack of for a less than satisfying marriage. Obviously, there are much bigger problems then the way you were or weren't proposed to. You had a choice not to acknowledge his response as a proposal, but, right or wrong, you chose to accept. Change it or live with it, those are your options now. Good luck with the rest of your life. Make a million mistakes, just don't make the same one twice!  

Answer 17

i got asked in his basement bedroom, i wish it was done differently but i was bugging him bout it and he asked me then, he wishes he wouldve done it differently too but i love him so how he asked doesnt matter

Answer 18

sorry to hear that. sounds like it was lousy.

my boyfriend was in a band and, in the middle of his set, he put down the drumsticks, came over to me, got on 1 knee and proposed in front of everyone. (unfortuantely me and him are no longer together, but that's a whole different issue)

the guy i'm w/ now says he'd love to ask me to marry him, but he wants to wait so it's perfect.

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