Who has a child with Autism and how did you react when the diagnosis was made?

Question

I knew that there was something not right when my son stopped communicating with my husband and I. He also never looked into the camera anymore and expressions were a thing of the past. So, when the docs diagnosed him I was not surprised as I did all the research and came to terms with it early on. My husband it took awhile.

Answer 1

My first reaction to our son's autism diagnosis frankly, was fear. My husband worked long hours with a long commute. I was responsible for our son's care. At this time we had a young child with poor eye contact, severely delayed speech, difficult sensory issues, strange special interests, a self-limited diet, daily tantrums, and learning disabilities. He was also chronicallly ill.

I felt overwhelmed and all alone. With no friends and family support my husband and I blamed each other for our son's autism, then blamed ourselves. My heart was broken and my dreams for our son were temporarily diminished.

Until I realized that I love my son and nothing will ever change that fact. And then my love energized me to take action!

The best thing we did was to buy him a computer. He uses fun, educational and therapeutic software to relate to us in our world, and is able to learn, grown and develop better skills.

Next, I got a part-time job so that I could leave in time to go to his school and learn from his special ed teacher and speech, occupational and physical therapists. Then I went online and read as much about autism and special education as I could. And attended every workshop, seminar and conference I could afford. Today there are family run websites, autism-related webcasts and some good parent-friendly books available.

At age 5 1/2 at the referral of the late Dr. Bernard Rimland, Director of the Autism Research Institute, my son began the Defeat Autism Now (DAN!) protocol for biomedical treatments which dramatically improved his speech, reduced his tantrums and gave us all a good quality of life.

Still, at age 9 when failure to thrive became a recommendation to put in a feeding tube, we found an experienced specialist who would listen to us and perform a colonoscopy. A chronic gastrointestinal disease common in children with autism was diagnosed and finally treated.

The goal is for our son now age 15 to lead a happy, healthy, productive, law-abiding life, as independently as possible, with meaningful relationships, and for his dreams to come true.

In the early days no one gave us any practical strategies to help us live better with autism. And most frightening was that no one offered us any hope. The good news is we continously move forward.

Love, patience, support, a good educational program and placement, together with biomedical interventions has significantly changed our son's life for the better.

Answer 2

Our son was diagnosed at 3 1/2.  Life was so busy that I wasn't able to think about it much.  Just kind of got on with life.  I really don't notice it too much anymore.  It is just how our lives are.  My 2 other kids deal with it.  My husband and I deal with it.  I do have times though, where I almost mourn the child I thought I was going to have.  Times when I notice how different he really is.  It makes REALLY appreciate the good things about him.  I have had to look at it that way.  Focus on the good, the little miracles that happen every day.  Because there really are little miracles!!  He is now almost 7 and a joy every day!!

He is on the mild side of the spectrum, and we have had him in special programs since his diagnosis.  He is currently in a private school for autistic children and doing incredibly well!

Good Luck!  It can be a very bumpy ride, but the view at the end of the journey is WORTH IT!!!

God bless you!

Answer 3

I was in shock. We had been preared a bit for it at his 21 month visit but still thikning speech delay. I took him for his 2 yr well check and was blindsided by it. We got a confirmation from a specialist when he was 3 and it was easier as I had had a yr to rpocess.

Answer 4

I was both devastated,and relieved.I did think he had autism,before they told me,because of a movie I saw many years ago called Sunrise.About a boy with autism.My son reminded me a little of him,except my son made eye contact,and was sociable with adults,but not kids his age.He didn`t seem to notice them.The reliefe was because,my son had many problems since about 4 moths of age.Febrile seziures,reflux,cronic infections,cronic loose stools,failure to thrive.He couldn`t tolerate any formula,I tried in vain to put weight on him.Everything he ate came back out one end or the other.I swear,the drs thought I was starving him or something.He was found to have a chromosome abnormality.I think he would have had problems anyway,because of the chromosome abnormality,but I think the vaccines magnafied the problems a thousand times.Also I think if I wouls have breastfed him,he wouldn`t have had as much trouble.Allergic to a lot of foods.Malabsorbtion problems.He is very small for his age.

Answer 5

Hi there ...my twin son Thomas was diagnosed with severe autism at aged 3 and a half, he is nine now and non verbal and also still in nappies, for us really if I'm honest was fine about the diagnoses i had been trying to get my GP to look at Thomas but he assured me Thomas was just the slower twin, i then contacted my health visitor who was also concerned about him she referred us to the hospital for a six wee assessment, within three weeks Thomas had been diagnosed with severe autism, don't get me wrong its tough sometimes also when people tend to judge him for being naughty, but you have to get on with it and do your best

best of luck x

i have added videos i made about Thomas in the link below

Answer 6

I have a daughter with high functioning autism. I knew form day one that some thing was different about her. It's taken 8 years to get a proper diagnosis, so I was just relieved when it came through. Certain members of my family, mainly males, still think that one day "she will get better". Like you  I did the research on my child and her diagnosis came as no surprise.

Answer 7

I don't have a child with Autism, but my friend has a son who is Autistic and she told me what she went through. She said he was always crying and when he wasn't crying, he was always running around and she couldn't control him. She cried for her son who was different for a long time, but she then realized that he was a gift from God and that she would do the best she could to parent him. Now he is 19 and as strange as ever, but she loves him just as he is ;-)

Answer 8

I was sitting outside the office my son was in with a psychologist.  He was screaming his head off, throwing toys and just out of control.  I was living in Japan, my husband (who refused to believe there was anything going on) had said he was unable to go to the meeting because of conflicts with work and my family was thousands of miles away.  I was also going through medical issues at the time.  Even though I knew what the diagnosis was going to be, I burst into tears.  I was terrified, overwhelmed and feeling very alone.  I "grieved" for a few days and then immediately went back to doing what needed to be done.  My husband was in denial for nearly three years and even then, did not really begin to parent our son for another few years.  In all honesty, it nearly ended our marriage.  Luckily, he ran into someone he had known years before who now had two sons of his own, both with autism and both who were more severe than our son.  The two fathers spent an evening talking and after that, my husband really understood what was going on, that our son would never "outgrow" his autism and he bacame an active and involved parent.  I have worked with many families who are just hearing the word "autism" for the first time.  Fear, anger,sadness..all are very normal reactions.  I tell all the families I work with that often times, you need to "grieve" for the image you had of who, what or how you dreamed your child might be or do when they first came into the world.  All parents want happy, healthy children, but most have some dreams for them as well..college, marrige, a driver's license..and often times autism may impact those dreams.  It can be hard to admit that your child may never be able to live a completely independent life.  It is hard to tell your child, as they get older, that they can't do things like get a driver's license or join the military (both of which we have had to do lately).  It is painful to admit those things to yourself.  But we are smart enough to know that our kids will still have a fufilling and wonderful life...it just may be a bit different than we thought it would be as we bought baby clothes and changed diapers!