Who has lost both parents at a relatively early age?

Question

My mom died when I was sixteen, my dad when I was 28, and I am an only child. I have a wonderful husband and three great kids, but for every birthday and holiday I have to spend with my in-laws I feel a little sick that my kids don't have their other grandparents and I don't have my parents.

It's not that I am a gift-grabber, but it is a fact that my in-laws do the minimum for my Christmas gift and see me as a hanger-on at "their" gathering, even though I have been married to their son for sixteen years and am the mother of three of their five grandchildren.

I wouldn't even care about that if my parents were around, because they were/would be kind and generous to all of us and they made everything a lot more fun than my in-laws.

Anyway, anyone have both parents die and miss them terribly even though you're grown up? How do you handle it?

Answer 1

I am very sorry to hear these things dear.

As I have seen, women are treated as if they do not have their own identity everywhere. This is very unfortunate in this world dominated by males and even the women are treating their own s*x so badly. This is happening for centuries dear. How do you fight against this discrimination.

You cannot avoid many things in life except to swallow.

However, I wish to say as the life is short - try to make it sweet.

Forget the things which are not bringing you happiness.

Enjoy the things, even the minutest, happy moments in your life.

Try to live every day, as if you do not see the next day.

This is what I learnt from my life by struggles.

All are selfish. Hence, we must also be selfish to enjoy our short stay & short life on this temporary and colourful planet of ours.

Good Luck and all the best my dear!

Answer 2

my dad abandoned the family when I was 8 and I haven't had much to do with him since.  my mother died of breast cancer when I was 21 and still in college.  I sometimes feel like a hanger on with my own family  (aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, even my brother).

You just get through it.  You appreciate the family you do have and you don't act like the kids are missing anything.  You don't focus on what you don't have.

Sounds like you're still mourning or grieving your loss.  If it is interfering with your enjoyment of life/what you have then you may want to consider counseling of some sort to get past it.

Answer 3

You answered my question recently about other people judging us for our decision to just have one child for now.  Most parents don't intend for their children to be alone.  They do the best they can with what they have at the time.  In a way, I was an only child.  My sister is autistic.  My parents will die someday too.  I sometimes wish my parents would have another child, but I can't cry over spilt milk.  My husband is an only child.  We just want one child right now and give it all the love we can give it before we think about having another baby.  

As a Christian woman, I will say that life is about challenges. One of them is overcoming being alone.  One is never alone if they have God.

It seems to me that you have a problem with you in-laws and not your deceased parents.  I sometimes argue with my mother-in-law, but I realized it started to hurt my husband and that is his mother -which he is fortunate to have alive still.  Everyone has a cross to bear in life -mine is my autistic sister and caring right now for my husband's parents.  Just remember the good life your parents gave to you and think about your current family now.  

Answer 4

Haven't lost both at a young age Mom at 21 in '81.Lost Dad in 2005.

Lost sister in 2001.There's always a empty space in me and my brothers life with these losses.You just have to press on.