Question:

Who has visited the "Old Folks Home" this week?

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Tuesday is my day, but I did an extra tour last Thursday.

Emergency at the Old Folks Home: A Two-Scene Play in One Act

by Elaine Polin

Characters:

Elaine (Volunteer)

Kathy (Supervisor of Volunteers)

Scene I – The Summer Kitchen:

Cell phone: Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture (BAM! BOOM! CRASH!)

E: Hello? (It is impolite to indicate you can read the caller’s ID)

K: Hi, Elaine, it’s Kathy.

E: (Feigning surprise) Oh! Hi, Kathy.

(Aside) What does she want NOW?

K: Do you have an extra hour this afternoon?

E: Kathy, I’m overwhelmed with work. My Publisher, TD…

K: You can write and read poems any time. This is an EMERGENCY!

E: Good Lord! Has someone passed away?

K: No, thank heavens. But our nurse is ill and won’t be in to do her class.

E: Kathy, you know I have no medical knowledge.

K: But you’re the only teacher/volunteer we have,

and the show must go on.

E: What’s the topic of this class?

K: Use of condoms. They think they’re safe

because they can’t become pregnant.

E: Kathy, I have a friend who is a nurse.

Even she didn’t want to conduct such a class.

K: Please, Elaine!

E: Well, do you have a script?

K: No, but I have a condom.

E: Kathy, I can’t do it.

K: Please, please, I’ll love you forever.

E: Well in that case…

(Desperately types “venereal diseases” into the search engine)

Scene II- The Activity Room of the Old Folks Home:

E: Hi, everyone. Today we’re going to discuss

a very interesting topic…

(Aside) Lord, please, help me.

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5 ANSWERS


  1. Oh, wow, glad I didn't have to fill your shoes. Is your ringtone really Tchaikovsky's 1812 overture? I think that would scare me. I really love these plays in two acts, they make me smile, actual, real life humor is the best.


  2. I read them Tom Brokaw this morning.

  3. Did you receive a standing ovation?  

  4. You have to remember the Girl Scout motto, be prepared, it will keep your daughter and the editor guessing....never leave home without one!

  5. I love old folks. I work In a Nursing Home. Very funny stuff.

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