Who is eligible for assistance by battered women’s shelter?

Question

This seems to be my only bet, but I wanna make sure if my local shelter will take me. I have no phone, so I cant call them from the house, but can anyone give me an idea of how these types of shelters in general decide who to take in?

I am not allowed to drive, I have no friends, and I’m not allowed to work. He sexually and verbally abused me a few years ago, and has slapped me before, but it’s been 2 years since he last did so. Now he treats me pretty well, and is often affectionate toward me, but I’m still confined to the house, and I’m still scared of him, and I know that he only “loves” me as long as I keep him happy. As soon as I run off, that’s sure to change, so I need some assurance that when I run off and call them to come get me, that they will do so, and not forsake me in favor of someone who is in danger of being killed. Plus he intends to force me to become pregnant next month (he forcefully impregnated me with my last child BTW) so I cant keep waiting. I’m also afraid if I confront him to his face, he’ll kidnap my children and take them overseas.

Answer 1

By the use of the word shelter, I guess you are in North America somewhere.

If you are online then you could use the internet to contact your local services, or even use your cell phone to put all your questions to them.

Or perhaps your local police have a domestic abuse unit to which you could speak in confidence for advice.

Certainly, the workers will listen to your fears, and will help you plan your move safely.  They can do it at your pace, so that you can keep control of how fast things are moving, unless the risk to you and your children escalates in some way and then they can get you immediately to a place of safety.

If you do use the internet make sure you erase your history when you have spoken to anyone, create a new email account that he does not know about.  Be safe, and do talk to someone.

Answer 2

Get to a payphone NOW

1 - 877 - 799- SAFE (7233)

http://www.ndvh.org/

EDIT: if you can't get to a phone, download AOL instant messsanger here...

http://dashboard.aim.com/aim

Then open an instant message with the screenname "My IP Relay"

Type out the above hotline number and you can type out your side of the conversation while an operator relay's the message to the other person.  Explain that you do not have a phone and this is why you are using this service. It's free btw.

Disclaimer: IP relay is meant for the hearing impaired, but your situation calls for desperate measures

http://www.ip-relay.com/faq_myiprelay.ht...

Answer 3

You need to take your children and go to the police. Call a taxi while he's away, and pack bags for you and your children. The police can set you up at a shelter and find you a lawyer to work pro bono.

Get out now, and good luck.

Answer 4

Step1- Phone 911 if you are in immediate danger.

Step2- Leave as soon as possible if you or your children are in danger. If you must leave without your possessions, do so. Safety should be your primary concern.

Step3- Remember that this situation is not your fault. Focus on finding safety.

Step4- Call your local police or sheriff's department. The department should be able to refer you to a shelter in your area, and may even be able to provide transportation. Report the violence to the police or sheriff's department, and obtain a restraining order from a criminal court.

Step5- Contact your local family court. The staff there should know where to find shelter. You can go to the court and file a complaint or petition to obtain a family court restraining order. Often a court will hear this type of petition on a preliminary basis as soon as you file it.

Step6- Ask your local YWCA if it provides or knows who provides shelter in your area.

Step7- Find the number for a local homeless shelter and ask the staff there for information about a family violence shelter. If you are desperate and don't know where else to go, this type of shelter may be able to take you in, at least temporarily.

Step8 - Go online to the Family Violence Prevention Fund (endabuse.org) and click on "Getting Help" at the bottom of the page. This will help you locate a shelter in your area. You can also call (800) 799-SAFE to find out how to contact a family violence program in your area.

Answer 5

There are domestic violence coalitions in almost every state.  We don't know where you are so how can we give you any assistance.  Where is your family?   You do have access to the internet so check these out and send them an email: http://www.ovw.usdoj.gov/statedomestic.h...

Get together all of your important papers, birth certificates, passports, marriage license, tax returns, photographs, medications, etc into a case of some kind so that its easily portable.  

They can get you clothing and household goods later.

Answer 6

Since you have access to the internet you must be able to google a local shelter and maybe you can send them an email asking to be picked up. Women's shelters don't tend to have a lot of critera, though some are just for women with children. They shouldn't ask you for too much proof that you need it.

By the way, delete the history of websites you've visited, including this one, incase your man learns what you are planning.

Answer 7

Get somewhere away from that place and call the cops, they all have victims assistance programs that will help match you to a place (usually a safe house) that can meet your needs and the needs of your children. GET A RESTRAINING ORDER