Who is in the right? me or mother in-law?

Question

ok...i dont want to bore you all so i'll try make this as short as possible. your answers will be very appreciated.

im 20, i live with my partner and we recently had a little boy. he is now 3months old. we are a very happy family, however, my mother in-law has come between us over the last few weeks :( this is what happened........

my mother and law turned up at my house the other day,

i was in pj's at 3:30pm because i was doing housework, plus my son hadnt went to sleep all day. sinse 7am!

i am ALWAYS going walks ect as my partner takes car 2 work. anyway......

she was dropping off a letter for my partner but seemed a bit dry with me and left in a hurry.

as my partner arrived home, he recieved a txt saying.....

" craig, its mum. my stomach is churning, i am scared louise (me) is not looking after tyler properly (my son). she was in jamies at 3:30pm. tell her she needs 2 get motherly!!"

in my opinion my osn is happy and im a good mother. its hard 2 adjust. am i wrong? xx

Answer 1

it doesnt matter what you or your son is wearing, he wasnt in anykind of danger at all and you were taking very good care of him

Answer 2

she was in the wrong for saying you need to get motherly as that implies that you are not coping well, so what if you were in yur pjs in the afternoon - youve just had a baby!!!

On the other hand maybe she was worried about you ( postnatal deppresion etc)  but wasnt sure how to approach you about it

Answer 3

hey i have a 6 year old and i am pregnant and my god now its the school holidays im always being caught out doing my housework in my pjsignore her, your partner knows you are doing a good job with the baby he is only 3 months old, i dont think i got dressed properly for the 1st 6 months after mine keep your chin and take what she says with a pinch if salt she will butt out soon enough

Answer 4

i feel you,  dont listin  to ur mnl. ok im 22 with 2 small kids myself, and my mnl lives out of country whohoho lol   shes alwaty will have somerthing nasty to say, talk to ur hus about it,

Answer 5

you can get dressed any time of the day you want lots of people do, i get up and start on my house work straight away and before i no it's past dinner time it's nothing to do with her what you do so long as you are looking after your son

Answer 6

Personally I would tell her to get stuffed!  Big deal that you were in your Pjs at 3.30pm!  Its your house, your life, your rules!  If being in Pjs all day is a reflection on your abilities as a mother then we are ALL bad mothers lol!  And what the h**l does "being motherly" mean anyway????  Carry on doing what your doing & ignore her stupidness.

Answer 7

You mother-in-law is crazy!  That's the most ridiculous thing I've heard!  Heck, you were CLEANING!  Why would you get all nice just to clean the house???  I hope your husband didn't get upset with you about this.  No worries, you're in the right here.

Answer 8

Tell her to mind her own business!! Who cares what you were  wearing, as long as your son is being looked after i wouldn't care if you were wearing a clown costume!!!

How mean of her to go to your husband behind your back, i hope he is on your side.

Congrats on your son xx

Answer 9

Tell her to get lost.

I hang about in my jammies all day when I don't need to go out.  I have a shower and get straight back into them.  It's easier for feeding and way more comfy.

It's really none of her business!!

Answer 10

She's wrong and it's none of her f**king business anyway. If your child was sat in his own filth all day fair enough but you were in your pjs, so what?Hope your husband listens to your side of the story.

Answer 11

Who's son is it?

Yours, not hers

She shouldn't have the right to tell you how to take care of your kid

Just because you wanted to be in your pajamas does not make you a bad mother

They're just clothes!

I don't think you're wrong at all

Answer 12

you are a good mother- don't worry about that.

you should explain to your mother-in-law what

you just explained to us. tell her that you were

doing some housework and tell her you thought

it wasn't nessesary to change considering it is YOUR

house and YOU can do what you want and dress

how you like. i'm sure your

mother-in-law dresses how she wants at her own

house, and you have a right to dress the way you want

in your in own house too.

best of luck.

Answer 13

Oh boy.  So you're not motherly bc you were in your pj's at 3:30??  Well that does not by any means make you not motherly.  I will tell you, I stay in the same clothes I went to sleep all day unless I go out.  That does not affect how I take care of my son.  Good luck with the MIL!

Answer 14

mothers and grandmothers can just be psychotic sometimes. you're not in the wrong, for sure.  don't worry about her!! my boyfriend (of 5 yrs) gets text messages from his mom and grandma all the time concerned about his well being and asking if I clean and cook for him enough. They just like to worry, and they're from a different generation.

Don't sweat it.

And congrats on your son!

Answer 15

shes being a ****** forget her

ask her 2 her face and say well what have i done thats not motherley

Answer 16

You're doing nothing wrong at all - Your mother in law is a bit silly. Just be a good mum, who cares if you are in your PJ's ar 3:30?

Answer 17

Tell her to bud out.  why would she want you to get dressed up just to clean house.  id you tell her you were up all day with a screaming baby.  it sounds like you're doing a great job.  Don't let nosy relatives stick their nose in where it doesn't belong.

Answer 18

dont let any one comes between you two tell your p to make his mom happy away from you life

Answer 19

Ignore it!! I was in jammies often all day when mine was little and we weren't going anywhere. Was purely and simply easy!

Answer 20

some days are pajama days.  especially if you are doing housework and you don't want to dirty your cloths.

Answer 21

MOTHER-IN-LAWS SUCK!!! I hate mine she pulls c**p out of her butt because i won't let her see my daughter...(she is crazy) Tell your guy i am a good mother and if you think i am not then you should have not had a child with me and tell him to control that beast of a woman. MIL try to get there sons back no matter who it hurts.

Answer 22

it shouldnt matter what you're wearing! As long as baby is taken care of.

Answer 23

Just tell the old bat to keep her nose out.

My mother used to visit my wife when I was at work and come telling tales to me, I told her the same thing , it worked.

Answer 24

What a cheek! HOW DARE SHE! I would seriously flip about that....first of all...the dramatic lanuage she used "my stomach is churning" she is undermining you....I would demand an apology from her!

Answer 25

It's none of her business...and really - if your partner agrees with mom...why does he wait for her to comment before telling you something? He should tell her stay out of your lives.

Answer 26

Both my midwife and health visitor told me that should get as much rest as possible and that its ok to spend the whole day if felt like it in p-j's.  It's not going to effect how you love and care for your baby, and like you say it takes time to adjust to having a baby around.  You're not wrong, just do what you feel is right for you and your baby.

Answer 27

its up to you if you want to keep pjs on, as long as he is being looked after, i wouldnt worry and take no notice, with my first i rarely got dressed before lunchtime if we were staying in.

Answer 28

tell mama in law to take a chill pill

Answer 29

you are right.

she is being a *****.

simple.

id talk to her and say i dont appreiate your comments and if you are so worried, call child protection and they will set your mind straight, i have nothing to hide.

Nichola - Mummy to 11mos old Sophie x*x

Answer 30

Well I would say that you were fine in the fact that you were in PJs but I think your mother in law is just feeling insecure about you because you know you are the competition to be the woman in her son's life. She is your son's grandma and I think you two should try to learn to trust each other a little more. Your partner should do everything in his power to make you happy and if his mom gets too over the top he needs to confront her. In my opinion.

Answer 31

Its not 1950 anymore...we dont all get up in the morning and shower and get dressed to do nothing at all!  Let her know that breakfast wasnt on the table either!  LOL!  It doesnt make you a bad mom to be in pjs....you were cleaning...heaven forbid you clean your home...you wear what you want in your home and she can wear what she wants in hers!  She needs to mind her own business!