Who is in the wrong? me or my mum?

Question

well, me and my mum was watching TV and there was this woman who met her boyf through the internet. then as a joke I said can I go and meet someone from the internet? she replied are you desperate. I replied I was only joking. now we have two girls staying in our house to rent. every time they are at home, they always talk with their boyfriends and she changed the conversation saying just because the two girls have boyfriends it doesn't mean that u should get one too. that means ur desperate. then she went on to say that i shouldn't talk about this boy that likes me to them non stop because it sounds as if I'm desperate (which I did about 2 hours the other day at home) and the fact that he's from saudi arabi, she said that they don't like them because they smell and are not good because they are muslims (no offense to anyone). i told them if they don't like him, then that's their problem. is it OK for me to tlk about the boy at work for two hours non stop and that the fact that he's from saudi arabia? i got into a massive argument just because of that.

Answer 1

i'd say its your mum who is in the wrong, its sounds to me like she just doesn't want you to have a boyfriend, i'm sorry but your mum really needs an attitude adjustment, there is no need for anyone especially not your own mother to be saying things like that to anyone, everyone has free will and if she doesn't like the way you are then its her problem just be yourself and do what makes you happy not what other people want you to do to make them happy

Answer 2

you should go out with who ever u like, and speak to anyone you want..but bear in mind that your mum cares about you. and don't want you getting hurt

Answer 3

Stay away from your mother. I have one similar, and I've given up on her. I just live my life without her, and although that sounds horrible and selfish, it is much less stressful and alright. Choose a good friend whom you can share your secrets with, but not to someone you don't trust that well. Be respectful and civil with her, but don't try to spend quality time with her anymore. She appears to be obsessed with 'desperation' and it sounds a little abusive.

Answer 4

your mum is in the wrong, its ur choice who u talk about wateva country there r frm and wateva religion

Answer 5

Your are not wrong at all. You have the right to talk to whoever you want to. Your mom should also understand that. She may disagree with it, but she should trust that she raised you good enough to make good decisions. She is your mom so respect her opinion, but that doesnt mean you have to do what she says

Answer 6

I think your mother is in the wrong. She's got all these crazy notions about what it is to be desperate for a guy, and that all Muslims are bad, neither of which are true.

You're right to say that if she doesn't like him, it's her problem. It IS her problem.  

Answer 7

I can't totally follow your point, especially about Saudi  but I think she might be trying to make you realise there is more to life than men. Do you think maybe you waffle on a lot about men? It sounds a bit like it. It might have turned into a habit without you noticing. Try to talk about something else for a while, and see what happens.

Answer 8

Listen to your mother, child!

Saudi Arabia - yeah - whatever!

You only have one mother - you'll miss her when she's gone!

Are you, like 14, or something?

Answer 9

I don't get where your mom is coming from unless you're burning up the phone wires.  Being friends doesn't make you desperate, and talking to a boy for a while doesn't make him a boyfriend.  People often say awful things about stuff they don't understand.  Like the Muslim faith and being from Saudia Arabia.  I'm from the southern U.S. and we've had our fair share of negative attitudes of different races. Hon, just be sweet, you can't change people's attitudes if they won't listen.  

Answer 10

Hmmmm..............if I got 2 hours of ear'ole about someone's bf, I'd get fed up ;-)

But if the young man is friendly and sociable with you at work, that's great. You're not about to marry him, are you!

Should things get serious between you, then there will be the cultural differences to look at - but a nice lad to talk to is just that.

There seem to be three issues here -

1) your mum is upset to even think that you'd get a bf off the net - well, I would be too!

2) your mum is bigotted against Muslims and afraid you're getting too serious with your colleague - this should be addressed with all the reasoning power at your command. Take her worries seriously, poor woman, and talk her through them. Introduce him to her?

3) you've banged on for two hours about this bloke and they all wish you'd change the bloomin' subject!