Who is responsible for child obesity: parents or the child?

Question

Well I am 13, and yes, obese. I have been obese most of my life. Today I got very upset because my mom started to yell at me today and she said that I am dumb for letting me get this way, and that I need to lose weight because it makes her look bad if she has an obese kid. She took absolutely no blame and said it was my fault.

Though, I disagree. My mom was the one who bought all of the junkfood in the first place and let me eat it! And while I was younger and overweight shen

ever tried to help me lost weight, she just let me get bigger.

Who do you think is responsible for child obesity: parents or the kid?

Answer 1

Good for you for taking responsibility for yourself and trying to get to a healthier weight!!!!

Unless you have a health problem that makes you gain weight then your mother is the one responsible for you being obese for your whole life. Last time I checked the average 9 year old wasn't in charge of the grocery shopping. :) So if you have been obese for many years then she should have done something to help you---even if you didn't want the help.

SHE is the mother, it is up to her to raise you in a healthy way. That is her JOB.

(BTW Have you been checked to make sure you don't have a gland problems or something that could contribute to your weight gain?)

You can't change the past, all you can do is move forward. Ask your mom to make an appointment with your doctor so you can discuss healthy eating and goals for weight loss including activity levels.

Good luck and best wishes.

Answer 2

I think you should look into Health at Every Size, because especially at your age (I know several people who were just chubby kids) the thing to focus on is developing good habits. Dieting will make you gain weight in the long run, instead try to fuel your body with the good stuff and enjoy doing active things with your body!

Remember you're gorgeous and deserve people's affections, whatever size you are!

Answer 3

It is the fault of both of you.  Your mom is at fault for not removing  junkfood when clearly you had a control problem. You are at fault for continuing to eat when you are full or eating when you are not hungry (i.e. upset, bored, just to do something).  

Take yourself in hand now.  Eat without distractions (i.e. no TV, reading, etc.). Eat slowly (put down your fork and chew).  Stop when you are full.  Exercise (ANYTHING that is sustained) for 15-20 minutes every day.

Answer 4

it is absolutely your parents fault!! they buy the junk, not you.

Answer 5

Parents should teach their children healthy eating habits early on. Your mom isn't really dealing with it in an effective manner either. However, you are at an age now where you can start making healthy decisions. Is junk food the only food at your house? If there is more healthy food you will need to practice self-control, there will always be temptation. I am aware that you can't grocery shop so maybe you could talk to your mom about trying to get more nutritious food that you like. Anyway good luck

Answer 6

Parents 100%!!!

I am the parent of two kids and if I just bought junk they would get overweight and/or unhealthy.  

It is NOT your fault!!!  Do NOT blame yourself, but also don't argue with your Mom.  : ) Show her respect, yes, even if she doesn't deserve it...

If you want to take charge and take back your health then you need to bunker down and get tough. Do NOT eat that junk she buys. It may be REAL difficult but you will be the stronger and healthier for it.

Learn to love veggies and fruits as much as the processed and chemical laden junkfood. Take walks (in safe places and with someone), make a journal of your progress. DON'T give up if you flop now and then...it's ok. Pick yourself up and start over.

You are in my prayers.

Answer 7

Its the parents' fault.

But now that you realize the problem your mother created, you have the power to fix it.

Answer 8

It is the parents fault! The child does not drive to the store and does not get the groceries and then pay for them. The child does not cook the food in the home. The parents have alot of influence on the child. If a parent is not in shape and does not eat well then their bad habits will rub off on to their children.

Answer 9

If its child obesity, definitely the parents. I mean how would a kid know about healthy food and stuff like exercise. And parent are most likely the one to create the bad habits like eating junk food etc. Anyway, good for you to take the initiative to try to lose weight and lead a healthy life for yourself. Keep it up!

Answer 10

obesity is just a politically correct wad, but its seriously both, the parents give them the fatening foods, the kids eat it and never excersize

Answer 11

i think that all the blame lies on the parent until the teenage years. It is not the child who buys the food, it is not the child who cooks the meals. A child needs to be encouraged to get out and play. Once in the teenage years the child can begin to buy snacks and that is when they begin to be responsible for themselves as well but that involved the parent teaching them from the beginning on a good eating diet

Answer 12

I think it is mostly the parents' faults, since they teach children their eating habits, and are responsible for providing food for the children. However, once the child is old enough to cook for him/herself, the parents can not totally be to blame.

Answer 13

Parents. Don't worry. It's not your fault. But now, you're at the age where you can make a difference.

Answer 14

this is your mom's fault good job losing weight keep trying its your moms fault its NOT fair to blame you

Answer 15

The parents for sure! If they don't buy the junk food, then the kid can't eat it. Kids don't get fat from eating fruits and vegetables. Now if they have a thyroid problem or something, that's different.

Answer 16

Parents.

However, now that you are getting older, you are gradually going to take on the responsibility for your own health.

Ask a counselor at school where you can start to learn about taking better care of yourself.  Tell them what your mom said.  They will have plenty of good advice for you.

Oh, and by the way, WELL DONE on your weight loss.  Just make sure you lose it by exercising more and cutting out the junk food.  Don't cut out the healthy food.  For example, you still need to eat breakfast.  You'll actually lose MORE weight if you eat a nutritious breakfast.

Have a look at this website:

http://www.overweight-teen-solutions.com...

Good luck, sweetie!

Answer 17

Don't blame yourself, your only 13 and you say it was for your life? You can over come obesity if you don't blame yourself however try not to blame your parents too much. If your happy the way you are then don't take too much notice on what your mum says. If you want to lose weight then clearly do it for yourself. If she offeres you "junk food" just say you want me to lose weight but your feeding me junk food. Don;t get angrey just sit down and talk to her.

Answer 18

Up until age 10 or so, the parent is solely responsible as they are the one providing everything. Afer age 12 or so, it is the kid's fault (partially) because by that age they are responsible for making some of their own food choices.

Answer 19

It is your parents fault for not teaching you better habits but now it is your turn to take control because you are old enough to acknowledge the problem and learn to deal with it.

I would like to congratulate you on what you have lost but just want to warn you that the biggest problem most people face when they attempt to lose weight is to go on a diet long enough to lose weight. The key is to not just "go on" a diet but you change your diet and your lifestyle for good. Also, don't try to lose too much too fast, for this good be harmful as well. Since your mom is not very supportive of you I would suggest checking in with your school nurse once a week to help manage your diet to make sure you are losing a safe amount of weight.

Good luck.

Answer 20

Definitely the parents.

Answer 21

Definitely parents. She is the dumb one if she thinks that blaming you is a) right, or b) the solution. And yes, your weight may reflect badly on her because she is the one who made it happen! Too bad, it's reality!

Good on you, though, for realising this is now within your control, and for trying to control your future. This is the best thing you can do for yourself.

Wishing you lots of luck and strength to get to where you want to be - don't listen to negative people, surround yourself with people who will support you to achieve your goal.

Answer 22

I think you are doing great with your weight loss. I wouldn't try to get in a big thing with my mom on whose fault it is or was. That is water over the dam, so to speak. I'd just concentrate on the future. I'd ask her to buy foods that would help you lose weight-such as low cal entrees, some good-tasting diet soda or bottled water, fruit, veggies with low-fat dip, and even some low-cal treats.

I'd ask for help getting some exercise equipment maybe, or a gym membership, or maybe even just a good pair of walking shoes.

Don't give up you will make it. I'd also pray for God's help and get a good book on weight loss such as the Christian book by Joyce Meyer's called Eat and Stay Thin.

God bless you.

Answer 23

Parents are 100%.  You can't blame the child at all.

Answer 24

It can be tough - parents often want for their child to be happy, and struggle when one of the things that makes them happy is eating a lot of junk food and snacks.

Now, though, you're thirteen, you're old enough to take some responsibility for yourself. And well done for doing so! Just, like someone else said, make sure you eat healthy, not starve yourself. If you think you will get hungry and want a snack at school, take some fruit with you. Have a healthy option lunch, not no lunch at all. And, I know it can be hard, and embarrassing if you are very overweight, but try to get some exercise. It doesn't have to be something massively energetic - can you get off the bus a stop earlier and walk part of the way home?

Plus, don't forget that you are thirteen and still growing. It's likely that you'll find it hard to lose weight at times because your underlying body structure is getting bigger and heavier. Don't despair! Just keep eating healthy and your BMI will drop even if your weight doesn't.

And can you get support from someone for when it's hard? It doesn't sound like it's going to be your mum. Maybe a school nurse or counsellor?

Answer 25

My son has a metabolic  syndrome and can get obese really fast if I as his parent dont take care of him, so YES its all the parent but after a certain age whether or not the parent is competent and responsible the child ought to say enough is enough and 13 is a good age to start making a change.  God bless you and I know you are responsible and can take better care of yourself than you mom did. Many of us get parents who shrug responsibility so you are not alone, just do better for yourself.

Answer 26

First of all I want to say congratulations for taking control of your own life and realising that you need to lead a healthier life!! Parents are ultimately responsible for shaping their childs life, and while I'm sure that your mum has tried to do the best she can to be your mum and care for you, she needs to realise that she is still partly to blame. It is unfair of her to treat you this way for her own selfish reasons.

Good on you for leading a healthier lifestyle and keep going with your weight loss, you are doing a fantastic job! Maybe you can teach your mum how to lead a healthier lifestyle too!! Best of luck to you, you are going to go places, kid!! :)