Who pays for the bachelorette party?

Question

I am getting married in September. We are having a casual wedding and don't have a bridal party. I have never been a bridesmaid and have only been to a few bachelorette parties and am new to how all this works.

My sister is throwing me a bachelorette party and asked what we should do that night. I always thought that a bachelorette party was just a girl's night out, everyone pays their way (except dinner). I suggested going to a spa and getting massages/manicures/facials...whatever anyone wanted. Then going to dinner and a local bar for a few drinks.

I am just now reading that generally the maid of honor pays for everything. Since I don't actually have a maid of honor, do I pay for it? My sister? Is it rude to expect everyone to pay for their own spa treatment? All the girls invited except 2 are cousins and sisters who would have been bridesmaids had we gone that route. I'm so confused...this is all new to me!

Answer 1

All of the girls are planning on chipping in for mine. My 2 bridesmaids were more than happy to pay for it themselves but the rest of the girs insisted they pitch in. I had and will have nothing to do with it. I didn't even care if I had the silly party and I'm certainly not going to throw myself one. lol

Answer 2

We didn't have a bridal party either and one of my friends decided to throw me a party.  We all went out to dinner and to a movie and everyone paid there own way for everything.  Maybe she could put a spa menu inside the invites so everyone knows what the prices are.  Or you and your sister could go have spa treatments and then meet everyone else later for dinner and drinks.

Answer 3

Typically the M.O.H pays for the brunt of it and the bridesmaids assist and sometimes the other females in your family.

My bridal party are students are single parents and I knew money was tight, so I paid for my own party.

I also did the spa thing, I bought each girl a mani/pedi and auromatherapy treatment and then we rented the hot tub for two hours, hand champagne and chocolate. Then we went to a local bar and had a few drinks which they paid for and then we headed home.

Answer 4

You can't expect the maid of honor to pay for everything.  That would be really expensive.  The maid of honor and bridesmaids should be paying for it.  If you don't have a maid of honor then maybe everyone can pay their own way.

Answer 5

they pay for it dont even bring any money with you good luck !!

Answer 6

The MOH and other attendants traditionally handle that financial responsibility. It's best to call everyone up and ask them. If most just can't afford it, cancel the big outing and make it more intimate, then figure out something else for everyone to do, like hitting a favorite rollercoaster at the local theme park.

Answer 7

Truely, I think you should be in touch with all going. Explain that you are concerned about the $$ situation and do a survey of who wants the spa etc...

My wedding was @ a rode side church and our "party", reception at our local township park- outdoors (FUN)

anyway, we had one attendant only (each of course) and for our bachelorette party everyone brought a fruit of choice, we put some in liquir (peach w/ peach schnapps) grapes in grape pucker...etc

had a bonfire, payed horseshoes, played pictionairy, trivia, and had a riot.  Very little cost involved as each person pretty much offered to bring a little something and we had plenty to eat, even had breakfast the next morning for those who crashed over.  

It's not what you spend, it's the memories you make..

Answer 8

I think if you tell everyone - in advance, in the invite - that you want to get the girls together for a bachelorette party and that it will be "everyone pays their own way" then you can get away with that.

However, it sounds like invites have gone out, in which case it would imply that the hostess (your sis) is the one paying the bill.  You would be free to help her out on that if you wanted, but if she is hostessing everyone would figure she was paying.

Answer 9

First of all as etiquette goes- you really have to base it on who you are inviting and what the standards are for your area. I live in a rural area that is very used to having people pay their own way, nobody ever gets offended and everyone understands that the host doesn't necessarily have the kind of money to pay for everyone!

As for your question...it is really confusing and I feel for you. I was recently the maid of honor for my sister and I had to pay huge money for a bridal shower. I definitely think that the shower should be paid for but for a bachelorette party I think that it's perfectly okay to have everyone pitch in for themselves. It's just a "night out" like you said.

If you are afraid of what they might think, just talk with them. If these are the women that are most close to you I'm sure they will understand....

If you have the money and want to pay for it, go ahead, otherwise I wouldn't feel obligated to pay.