Who pays for what in weddings

Question

My fiance and are are arguing over who's family pays for what at the wedding. What does the Grooms parents pay for? What does the Brides parents pay for?

Answer 1

The groom and the bride should pay for everything

to show how responsible they are. I think it's depressing

when parents have to pay for stuff.

But if you make them, you should just have them give

you an equal amount of money or something.

On your about me on your page it says that your parents are "trying to make ends meet" of course they're going to offer but being adults you should say that you don't need help because you can handle it yourselves. Otherwise you should just put off the wedding if you're too poor for it.

I feel so sorry for you.

Answer 2

Wow,...you 2 are off to a great start

Answer 3

We told our parents to just give what they can afford (they offered first, we didn't ask them for a dime because we were going to pay for all of it). His parents are divorced and the mom is bitter towards the dad so she wasn't giving us anything but his dad gave $500 for whatever we needed and she turned around and said she'll pay for the cake and rehearsal dinner. But  my parents gave $3000 for whatever we needed and we're just paying whatever is left to pay for.  

Answer 4

First off, don't let it ruin your experience of planning your wedding!! it's suppose to be fun and exciting ..everyone does it a little differently so there is nothing set in stone although my husband and I did it on a budget to save the sake of arguments because it's just not worth it. My parents paid for everything except for flowers, photographer and our hotel room ..his parents gave us a grand for whatever so that covered the photographer and then we paid for the rest. I know it's hard but maybe write down all the expected costs and try to budget by making your own center peices or getting a second hand dress ..you'll be amazed on how much you can save!!

Answer 5

i agree with your parents let the family go half on everything...your family pay for some of the things for the wedding and his family pay for the other half..

Answer 6

It is said that the brides parents are supposed to pay for the wedding. Frankly I think the grooms parents should pay.

Answer 7

Wow perhaps all the people answering this question do not understand the actual purpose of a wedding. Weddings are something parents provide to their children to make them money, not to break them by paying for it. You and your future husband should not be paying for anything. Your parents should be paying for the dress, the food at the reception and the ceremony, the groom's parents should be paying for the rehearsal dinner and the alcohol at the reception. Again, weddings are something that are given to people getting married as an opportunity to make money to start their new life together! Don't let these people tell you otherwise!

Answer 8

I hate it when people say the brides family should pay for everything. This is not 1920. The two of you, being responsible adults, should pay for as much of the wedding as you possibly can. Then, both of your families should split the cost evenly to make things fair.  

Answer 9

well...why do the parents have to pay for anything? I understand that some parents do pay for the wedding but this is sometimes part of some cultures. I don't think you should expect anyone to pay for anything. You guys should pay for it yourselves and if your parents or his decide they would like to pitch in later then its a bonus.

Answer 10

I think that the parents should pay for the part that the groom and wife cant ..  

Answer 11

I think Sugar Glider is right.  The Bride and the Groom should pay for as much as they can and then have the families help you.  This is what me and my husband did 14 years ago!

Answer 12

If you are mature & responsible enough to get married, you should be able to pay for your own party.  Parents have raised you, paid for you your whole life, maybe bought you a car, maybe paid for your education, after all this time do you really need them to cash in another couple thousand to pay for a party.  Do it yourself.  

Answer 13

Hi.  The old rules of who pays for what are really out the door.  You may still find these lists on places like theknot.com and other bridal sites, but in all reality, it is the bride and groom that pay for their own wedding, reception and honeymoon.

That is not to say that your parents and/or his parents won't offer to pay for things.  However, the "traditional" bride's family pay for this and groom's family pays for that is gone.  Why?  Because so many parents are single parents....because those lists are so outdated that they are almost funny, and because so many couples live together before marriage and can afford to pay for it themselves!

Again, your family and/or your fiance's family MAY offer to pay for something, or they MAY give you some money and say "do with it what you want," but don't be upset if they don't.  There are so many reasons why, in 2008, it's the bride and groom that pay for their own wedding, reception and honeymoon.

Answer 14

I got this list from the website listed in the SOURCE section. It is just a guide to the "proper/traditional" etiquette, if it is not followed that is NO big deal, every family is going to do it differently!

People these days always say the Bride and Groom should be "responsible" and pay for the wedding themselves, however in MY family and my fiances family they would NEVER allow that, both our families are traditional.

Wedding Gown, Headpiece & Accessories - The Bride's Family

Wedding Ring for Bride - The Groom

Wedding Ring for Groom - The Bride

Wedding Gift for Groom - The Bride

Wedding Gift for Bride - The Groom

Bridesmaid Gifts - The Bride

Groomsmen/Usher Gifts - The Groom

Bride's Bouquet - The Groom

Bridesmaid Bouquets - The Bride's Family

Mother's Corsages - The Groom

Grandmother Corsages - The Bride's Family

Groom's Boutonniere - The Groom

Groomsmen Boutonnieres - The Groom

Usher's Boutonnieres - The Groom

Ceremony/Reception Flowers - The Bride's Family

Altar Baskets/Arches - The Bride's Family

Canopy/Carpet - The Bride's Family

Kneeling Bench/Candelabras - The Bride's Family

Rented Items for Wedding - The Bride's Family

Rented Items for Reception - The Bride's Family

Invitations/Announcements - The Bride's Family

Wedding Programs - The Bride's Family

Napkins/Matches/Printed Items - The Bride's Family

Marriage License - The Groom

Medical Visit for Bride - The Bride

Medical Visit for Groom - The Groom

Church Fee - The Bride's Family

Clergyman/Officiate Fee - The Groom

Musician/Soloist - The Bride's Family

Church Janitor - The Bride's Family

Reception Hall Fee - The Bride's Family

Catered Reception/Professional Services - The Bride's Family

Wedding Photography - The Bride's Family

Video Photography - The Bride's Family

Orchestra/Band/DJ - The Bride's Family

Wedding Cake - The Bride's Family

Wedding Favors - The Bride's Family

Groom's Cake - The Groom's Family

Rice Bags - The Bride's Family

Rehearsal Dinner - The Grooms Family

Bridesmaid Luncheon - The Bride

Bachelor Party - Best Man/Groom's Attendants

Wedding Breakfast - The Bride's Family

Bridal Brunch - The Bride's Family

Bridesmaid's Gowns - Bridesmaid's

Maid of Honor Gown - Maid of Honor

Matron of Honor Gown - Matron of Honor

Best Man Formal Wear - Best Man

Usher's Formal Wear - Ushers

Groomsmen's Formal Wear - Groomsmen

Gloves/Ties/Ascots for Attendants - The Groom

Father of Bride Formal Wear - Bride's Family

Father of Groom Formal Wear - Groom's Family

Children's Formal Wear - The Children's Parents

Limousine Service - The Groom

Honeymoon Arrangements - The Groom

Answer 15

The Bride and Groom should pay for everything, and just let your mum and dad suggest what they would like to do for the wedding and then that way they only spend what they can afford, for example they might say we would like to buy the brides dress and the grooms parents might say we will pay for the honeymoon.  Dont expect them to pay for anything though.

Also parents should only spend what they can afford, its not a competition on who spends the most.

Answer 16

yeah really, why are you getting married if yo cant afford to do so! if you need to get married in a back yard with some chairs and a cake...then do that. marriage has nothing to do with a lavish ceremony.  d**n, this is not a great way to start a marriage!  

Answer 17

The groom is suppose to pay for the rehearsal dinner, and reception.The bride is suppose to pay for the wedding ceremony, and her wedding dress.

Answer 18

Weddings: Who Pays?

Man:

Dinner (If you have one - Optional) for Immediate Family the night/day before the wedding; All beverages - especially alcoholic - At the wedding; Flowers. These are usual expenses.

Woman:

Most everything else (But, this is the age of Oprah - anything you Both agree on....is what YOU BOTH AGREE ON !)

IT'S   Y O U R   WEDDING!

I wish you love, and strength...

[SEE BELOW]

SERIOUSLY, THE BEST ADVICE I CAN OFFER, IS THAT WHATEVER DECISIONS YOU MAKE - YOU MAKE THEM AS A UNITED FRONT, TOGETHER...Once you've made a (Well Thought Out And Fully Discussed And Agreed Upon) decision - don't let ANYONE - Including (and especially) your parents or family - change your minds......Otherwise, chaos will occur !

(I'm a therapist - have discussed this many, many times with patients).