Who pays when we go out?

Question

She always insist on paying and never lets me unless I force the issue.

Answer 1

take turns

Answer 2

Proper etiquette most certainly does not say that the gentleman pays.  Proper etiquette for the last 30 years or more has said that since women work and are no longer relegated to the low-paying positions, they should be expected to pay if they ask the gentleman.

Jason, ask your girlfriend why it is so important to her that she always pays.  Listen to her answer.  Try to figure out what her underlying issue really is.

Tell her that you feel awkward with her always paying.  Let her know that you appreciate the 5-star treatment you're getting, but that you would like to treat her, too.  Tell her you would like to take turns paying, or that you would like to have some "Dutch treat" dates where each of you pays your own way.

Your girlfriend may just be extremely generous.  Or ... she may be very controlling, and this issue of paying for dates is your first clue that you need to pay attention.  Only you can figure out which it is.

Answer 3

Proper etiquette calls for the gentleman to pay for the date.  Times now are much more relaxed and if the woman does ask the man out it is OK if she pays, but not all the time.  If you are constant date partners and decide that you would like to take "turns" at treating that is OK too, but as far as her paying all the time I think that it would make just about any decent man feel a wee bit uncomfortable.  Talk to her about it and find out why it is so important to her that she feels she must always pay for things and maybe during the discussion you can work this out.  Good luck!!!

Peace & Love  :)

Answer 4

Why force the issue?  Why not let her pay and then talk to her about it when you are both in a good mood and not in a situation where someone has to pay?  If she ALWAYS pays and INSISTS on paying unless you FORCE the issue, there's something wrong.

Answer 5

It is customary for a Gentleman to pay for a date if he is the one initiating the date.

However in our more enlightened times, if the Lady is the one initiating the date then she is perfectly right to insist on paying for the date.

If it bothers you there is always the option of discussing this matter beforehand and agreeing that you will split the cost of your dates.

All of which are perfectly acceptable.

It is however considered rude to argue about who will pay while on a date.

Answer 6

do you have a job? if you do, tell her that unless you can pay this time, you're not going.

Answer 7

take turns paying

Answer 8

She sounds like the ideal date. Don't lose her until she runs out of largesse. Next time, insist on going out to somewhere really expensive.

Answer 9

In my opinion, the guy should pay. But you guys should set up some sort of schedule where your paying equally for each other if she insists.