Who says how we should live our lives?

Question

Who says we have to live up to all of these high standards? And all of these morals? It's like it's compulsory to graduate, go to University, get a job, get married, have children etc.

Why is that? And why are some people shocked when you don't follow these things that appear to be necessary in life?

I know that it's best you go to school to get the qualifications you need to gain a well paid job but WHY is that what the human race feels the need to do?

It's like most people don't think outside of their own little lives. There's a whole world out there! There's so much in this universe we have yet to discover, yet, we are too worried about that new TV we have to buy or what Collage we are going to get into.

Have you ever just STOPPED for a second and listened? You lead your own life and so many things are going on around you. Have you ever just gazed into the sky and been amazed by it's vastness?

I have.

I want to live differently. But these so called 'rules' and 'values' seem to overpower everything.

Answer 1

I agree- For instance, I don't want children, and my boyfriend's sister is shocked and appalled, saying i HAVE to have children! A lot of people I have told that I don't want kids, say, but you HAVE to... WHY WHY PEOPLE WHY? I was once told I need to be not selfish and have children- UMM do you really think a selfish person should have kids?

Answer 2

There's a balance. And consquences. No one says you *have* to do anything (well, some people do but at the end of the day you don't have to) but you have to accept you will suffer for some choices. I.e. you can break the law if you like, but expect to go to jail. Your choice.

And you're not being very objective, really. "Big" issues to you are unimpoirtant to others (does the wide universe really matter? Why? Just because it's novel? Whereas a new TV has an actual impact on people's lives. Objectively, you can't say one is more important that the other to all people) You are doing the same thing: putting your values about exploration and discovery onto everyone else. Nihilistically, any choice is as reasonable as any other choice.

I have very occasionally looked up at the sky. Do it once or twice a day and yeah - it's all wonderful. Then I got on with important issues - like earning enough to live on, for example? Following the boring steps for my career so that in twenty years time I'm doing what I'm actually interested in and good at, and not some random job. Bigger issues are great... if you've got the time and money to indulge them.

Actually, out of the whole population, very few people expect - or care! - if you do these things. Those that know you might, if they think it's best for you. Otherwise, do as you please, accept consquences of same, and respect the fact that if it wasn't for people doing what you seem to term "small concerns", like producing, transporting and selling things for example, your country would collapse and you'd be too busy trying to scrape a living together to have time to look at the sky. If everyone went of to explore the world, who would be flying the planes to take them there?

Answer 3

We are expected to be like the rest of society... and if we aren't, then we are strange.

I think its good to lead your own life rather than the life everyone wants you to lead.

The problem is that people might not understand... but people don't understand a lot of things. You can set the example by doing or not doing whatever you want to do or not want to do.

Answer 4

Hi,

Having Values, it's important for self esteem, those are not Rules.

The most important in life , is to  achieve our goals , no matter what,

as long we enjoy ourselves.

That said, happyness will follow, i agree with you , you can live

differently, yet,  you can easily attain values.

Good luck!

Answer 5

That is more of a diatribe than a question, but I'll address both.

First the answer to the question: nearly everyone tries to influence how others live. Especially when they can make money from doing so...religion, politician, corporate marketers, etc. Next are the people who get personal power by bullying others...they love to point out your mistakes and what you should be doing...these are usually your friends and family and people on the net.

Now to respond to the diatribe: I agree 100%. Long ago, I stumbled across Kung Fu, the TV series pilot:

"You have learned discipline and acquired many new abilities. however never forget that a priest's life is a simple one and must remain free of ambition." -Master Po to the disciple Caine

"Have you no ambition, Master Po?"

"Only one. Five years hence, it is my wish to make a pilgrimage to the Forbidden City. It is a place where even priests receive no special status. There in the Temple of Heaven, will be a festival The full moon of May. It will be the thirteenth day of the fifth month in the Year of the Dog."

"That is not such a great ambition."

"But it is ambition, nonetheless. Who among us is without flaw?" -Master Po



That really hit home with me. I do have ambition...heck just trying not to have ambition is ambitious. However, I tend to channel my ambition into the present...both embracing the beauty of God's world and avoiding the trappings of man's world (debt, hyper-consumerism, bad relationships, etc.). Thus society judges me as having no ambition, but if they have a problem with me, they are the ones with the problem.

Further, I don't take this life or myself too seriously. Everything just has too many flaws. I still control the things that I can control: health, finances, etc. This duality has lead to quite a bit of peace and wisdom.

Now that I am middle age, I am saving up to live as an old kung fu master (without the kung fu)...a solid but modest home (monastary) on a beautiful mountain.

But hey...that is just me. I say all that to encourage you to live as you want. Yes, society's rules and values will influence you, but so does your body's need for oxygen and food, so does Earth's gravity, etc. These are things you have to tolerate and work with, but they do not have to control the majority of your life.