Who should I choose for my maid of honor?

Question

I have two friends from high school that I am making the choose from:

Friend 1: The first person I talked to when I moved to my new town for my sophmore year in high school. She called me her "big sis" we did everything together and were inseparable until I went to college. She was one year younger than me and she was in 12th grade my freshman year in college. She got new friends and I felt betrayed so I have the personality to not talk about how I feel so I just ended the friendship. I went back home after one year away and she called we started talking again and it was all normal. Then I guess we drifted apart again because her new friends weren't into college studies like I was. We talked ever now and then. She got pregnant I went to she her at the hospital when the baby was born and that was kind of the last time I spoke with her for a couple of months. We catch up once in a while on the phone for like 3 hours and then stop talking. But she knows things about me even my fiance doesn't know. She had the baby's christening and she dubbed her 'new' friends the godparents which hurts but truthfully I wasn't there you know. But I know that she would do a great job and in my heart I want to ask her but my fiance doesn't think she deserves it.

Friend 2: Friends in high school not so tight because she had another best best friend. I went to college and we became closer maybe because we were in the same graduating class. Anyway, she got pregnant took on a new crew of friends and we kind of split apart. But a couple of months later we talked like everyday. We still talk everyday but she recently moved to GA and she isn't around. She doesn't know me like friend 1 but I know she has always been there for me regardless and when it comes down to it I would be her kids godparent but she has two kids now and I don't think she will have the resources to be my MOH. My fiance thinks I should chose her.

Help PLEASE!!!!

Answer 1

Neither.  They are both moms that have shown you that they are unreliable and the friendship is flaky.  Being that they both have children, it would be hard for them to be there with you through every single detail of the wedding and since both friendships are not strong, they would be even less inclined to make an effort.

Choose someone else.  Maybe a sister or a cousin or a college friend.  The MOH doesn't have to be someone that you have known for ages...just someone that you know you can trust and will share in your excitement.  

Answer 2

Your first friend.

I know if I marry my current boyfriend I am having his sister be the maid or honor

Answer 3

friend 1 knows too much about you, better make her the MOH, you don't want to make her mad!

Answer 4

fwend 1!  =]

Answer 5

You dont HAVE to have a maid of honor you know. I wouldnt choose someone you dont feel great about having and I dont think either one of these works. I have been to weddings where there are NO attendants just for your information

Answer 6

This is a difficult time for you and i can sympathize because i am throwing  my wedding in Nov. It's a very hard decision, and one thing you will have to consider is what you place as priority.  

I have heard that you can have two maids of honors. I was considering having two myself and a matron of honor. I decided to only keep one matron of honor and a maid of honor. I spoke with my other candidate and she completely understands, another reason why i luv that girl so much. If you are spending the ridiculous amount of money on this special day like i am. You are allowed to make some of your own rules up.

If you do not want to have two MOH, then i would probably pick friend number two because you speak to her everyday. She may know more about your relationship with your fiance then friend number one. Although friend number one would be a great one to have organize your baccalaureate party.

As long as you are honest and communicate your intentions well, it sounds as if your friends will be understanding about it. If your friend number two can not pay for certain items, maybe your fiance and you can pitch in. Especially since he thinks you should pick her.

Good luck with the decision making, wish you well on it.

Answer 7

I choose my bridesmaids and maid honor based on this. 'In 10 years time when i look at my wedding pictures will these girls still be in my life?' My answers were yes to all 3. I have known 1 sense i was 4 yrs old another sense i was 15 and the other sense i was 18 and we had never had a fight and these 3 girls are the ones i turn to and completely trust. To me it doesnt seem like you trust these girls. I think you should maybe choose a close friend who has been there for you lately. You are an adult now and sometimes childhood friendships dont last through adulthood. Will these 2 girls still be there for you in 10 years time or will they just be faces of the past?

Answer 8

Other alternatives for maid of honor or matron of honor:

Sister, or other close relative (aunt or cousin), other friend, fiance's sister

If friend #2 doesn't have the resources to be your maid of honor and you can't help her with resources, then your other alternative is #1.

Before you decide, check out the web sites below which detail the typical MOH duties. Which person would you feel more comfortable with doing these things for you?

http://weddings.lovetoknow.com/wiki/Maid...

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article...

You also have the option of having both a Maid of Honor AND a Matron of Honor.

http://www.realsimple.com/realsimple/gal...