Who should I speak to concerning my children being home schooled, when they are not receiving the proper educ?

Question

My two older sons have been home schooled by their father for the past 4 years. I have noticed that they are falling way behind. I never wanted the boys to be home schooled because I wanted to make sure they got the best education they needed. what should I do to get them back on track with their schooling? One should be in 8th grade and he has told me hes in fourth.The other should be in 10th and he's told me hes at a 7th. their father says they are doing well with the home school,but I have an 11 year old that is enrolled in school going into the 6th grade and she knows much more than my 13 year old.

Answer 1

You can't compare your 11 year old with your 13 year old unless they are following the same curriculum. Often homeschoolers pursue a completely different style of education, using different resources. It's quite normal for homeschoolers to be studying things that aren't even on the public school curriculum. They may study different topics within a subject or in a different order. If I was you, I'd take what your kids have said with a grain of salt. If they are homeschooled, how are they going to be able to make judgements about which public school grade they are working in? They probably don't have anywhere to get that information.

I think the best way for you to tackle this issue is to talk to their dad, remembering that he is innocent until proven guilty! Assume he's doing the right thing, and talk to him about their progress, the programs they are using, why they are using those ones. For all you know, the problem is that they are too lazy to do their work properly, and that wouldn't change even if they were in public school. At this point, your concerns are really vague. You need to find out more information, and narrow things down into specific concerns. If your ex is the custodial parent, he has the right to make the homeschooling choice; though you are well within your rights to express concern. Instead of wasting time trying to fight him, it would be better for everyone if you were to support him in any way possible. You can ask to have imput into their subject choice and what products to use. He's the custodial parent, so he will get right of way, but that doesn't mean you can't research yourself. You might find resources he hasn't heard of that would suit the three of them better. Or you might need to give your kids a thick ear and let them know they will be in strife if you hear they're slacking off! You need to find specific problems, then how to address them. Are you concerned with their spelling? Research spelling programs and talk to their dad about adding one in. Are they complaining about the books they been assigned? Do you tell them to suck it up and do it? Do you tell them to talk to their dad about reading something else?

Pretend you are all for homeschooling and do some research. Figure out what style and what resources you would use if you were doing it, and discuss it with your ex so you can find a happy medium between your two desires.

Answer 2

I agree.that you should be involved and perhaps even help with their education.    Perhaps you could volunteer to lead them in a subject that you have a particular interest or aptitude.

   Your sixth grader may know more than the 13 year old in some subjects but that does not mean that she is getting a better education.

If a child learns how to learn they are getting an education.

Answer 3

Who should you speak to?  Obviously, you should speak to their father.  Rather than being confrontational, you should just inquire about what program they're using, how does he go about assigning their work, checking their work, making sure they're making progress.  Just interested, as their mother should be.  Look at the books they use, ask them to show you their work, some projects, some tests.  Find out if they take standardized tests every year, and if so, how did they score?  Do they belong to any homeschool co-op or support group?  If you have concerns about their progress, ask them and their father about these concerns.  If you avoid sounding accusing and manage to sound "simply interested" you're much more likely to get complete answers and to show your sons that you care.  

Answer 4

If your children are coming to you and telling you that they're behind in their studies then you should believe them 100% and take action before it's too late.

Do whatever you can to get them up to speed then get them back into a public or private school. Their father obviously doesn't have the time and/or skill to teach them himself.

Parents make the decisions about their children's education but the children suffer for life if they make a wrong decisions.

Good luck, I hope things work out.  

Answer 5

Home schooling can be great for some families and really benefit the kids within those families. However a bad teacher can happen to any child in public, private, or home schooled setting. Your local home schooling group and public school system should have information to help answer some of your questions.

If you are really concerned and want to make sure that all your children are receiving a "proper" education then check out their home and public schooling programs. Make sure that you approve of what they are learning. Look into standardize testing to see where your kids fall within their appropriate grade/age group. Remember standardized testing has a both pros and cons and is not an absolute answer to how your children are doing with schooling. It can however give you some insight into their strengths and weakness so that you can be sure they are properly addressed.

Review their educational material is it from a good source. By reading reviews about their program and materials you will understand their education more. Make sure they are being stimulated enough by their home school programs. Plenty of resources to look up and compare on-line.

Talk with their father if possible and if not then work with a mediator from family services or family court system. Be prepared to ask your questions, have suggestions, and stay calm to get best results. As a parent you have every right to guarantee your sons future and not feel bad about doing some questioning. That's our job as responsible parents to insure our kids receive a quality education from the best possible source.

I believe in the freedom for us to make a decision on how to educate our kids. I also believe that all teachers whether they be a parent, public or private school teacher needs to be qualified and their teaching ability reviewed frequently to insure our kids are getting the best education they can.

In conclusion don't feel down that you are questioning the home school system, question all schooling systems and make sure your kids get the best you can give them. Hope this has helped you, remember to stay an active parent.

Answer 6

Obviously your husband has the right to make schooling decisions.  If not, he would not be making them.  I suggest you abide by the original custody order, and do everything you can to support their custodial parent rather than putting him down.

Homeschooling is the best educational choice.  It provide one on one instruction from a caring person.  It is a much more appropriate choice than outsourcing to a mere state employed teacher. I'm sorry you haven't felt the need to give your other child the option of homeschooling.

And remember that if you saw the books the children use, you would not be wondering about this.  Most homeschool programs are accelerated.  Abeka fourth grade materials look more like public school eighth grade materials.  It is very accelerated.  Grade levels mean nothing. It is the material and curriculum itself that is important.