Who should I walk down the aisle with?

Question

My father is not happy about me marrying my fiance and most likely won't be coming to the wedding. My mother and my two brothers will be coming. My oldest brother is coming with his family. My mother also kind of disapproves, but she will be coming to the wedding. I have a bridesmaid.

I was considering to ask my mum or my second brother, or to have my fiance walk me down the aisle. What do people think?

Answer 1

You really should just go have a coffee with your dad and talk about it. Tell him your'e sorry he's upset, and ask him why it is that he doesn't like your fiance. Figure things out with your father first, because I know for a fact that both of you will regret him coming to the wedding.

Ask him nicely, after you guys talk, if he would please walk you down the aisle--I mean, he's your dad!! You'll never forgive yourself if you don't at least ask him to come.

If he refuses, you should ask one of your brothers.

Good luck!! And congrats :)

Answer 2

I would ask your older brother, then ask your younger brother, if that does not work, then I would walk by yourself.

Answer 3

If u ask one brother & not the other, will that hurt the other brother's feelings?  ( I wouldn't think one brother coming with family would make a difference about which one would walk u down the aisle. )  Going by yourself would b ok if u r comfortable doing that!  Mum would be ok too, or both brothers walking u down would be another option.   Whatever decision u make , i hope it goes well, and more importantly I hope u have a great marriage!  

P.S.  Do think about why your father & mother do not approve of ur man? Parents usually want what is best for their daughter, and it makes me curious of what they don't approve of - if they just have ur best interests at heart.   I'm not trying to sway u or upset u, just look at it from all sides.  i really hope everything goes well!

Answer 4

Walk alone.

If you use a brother or some other family member, that just highlights the fact that your father doesn't approve.  I don't think you need to advertise that message on your happy day.  

Answer 5

I'm with Abby, have a talk with Dad. Just be nice, and tell him you are sorry he disapproves of the marriage.  But if it is a mistake, you are making it, nobody is going to blame him for the mistake.

And tell him that he is only allowed to say that "he told you so"  3 times if something does go horribly wrong.

Ask him to walk you down the aisle, tell him you will walk by yourself if he does not. Of course you can later change your mind and have whoever you want do the escorting.  

Answer 6

Any of these are fine, depending upon what you are most comfortable with.

My husband and I walked up the aisle together, with our attendants walking in as couples before us. People loved it, and so did we!

Answer 7

If the Older brother is happy for you, then ask your older brother. If he is not happy for you, walk down by yourself. I would walk dow the isle with anyone that is not happy for you, since this is supposed to be the happiest day of your life. Good luck

Answer 8

You can walk down by yourself that's totally fine....but if you want to ask one of your brothers to walk you down that would be just fine!  Also, if you have a grandpa that will be there, you can ask him if he'd like to walk you down!  

But usually it's a family member or close friend who walks you down the aisle because they are "giving you away"....so you might not want your fiance to walk you down since you are being "given away" to him.

Answer 9

All that family c**p sucks. My mum is walking me down the aise. My dad's not - we're not close and he hasn't put in an effort in our relationship at all. Mum and I have our up and downs but we're still close and she's had the most influence on my upbringing.

I considered my brother walking me down the aisle or walking myself down, but then I saw a television programme where the mum did the honour and i decided that's what I wanted.

Have whoever you find supportive of you to walk you down the aisle. Or, walking down by yourself with your bridesmaid could kind of be an act of independence - I'm a big girl, I can make my own decisions now, I'm not yours to 'give away' and it's not your job to decide my future anymore.

Good luck. I hope your dad comes to his senses and realises that this emotional blackmail won't get him anywhere.

Answer 10

No, don't walk down the aisle by yourself, and definitely not with your fiance.  Traditionally, the person who walks down the aisle with you is giving you to your groom.

If your father, won't be coming, ask your mother.  If she is reluctant, then your oldest brother, followed by the younger one.

It is sad to see pld traditions falling away - although it can't always be helped.  If none of  your direct family are willing, what about an uncle?

Answer 11

Ask your mother first.  In fact if any of your grandparents are alive ask them. I think it would be very nice if your mother & her mother (your grandmother on your mother's side) both walked you down.  Your would have 3 generations together.  What a keepsake picture that would be.

Then if she says no, ask your future father -in- law (if you think it would enhance your relationship with fiance's family).  But be sure that he escorts all the appropriate other women down the ailse first & then you last.  Who cares if he isn't a blood relatie.

However, if you ask your future father in law, will anyone else get upset because they would like to be the one walking you down the aisle?  

Are you trying to do a traditional chinese wedding?  

Answer 12

It is your wedding, you should have whomever you want walk you down the aisle.  Don't worry about what other people will think or how they will feel, if they really care about you they will just be happy for you.

Answer 13

I think it would be fine to go with the brother you are comfortable with:)

I also think if those are the only reasons your father has, and your fiance is a  good person, your dad is being incredibly unfair! I wish you much luck in life!!!!!!!!!!!

p.s. maybe you could also as the priest/minister or whoeevr is marying you what would be appropiate :)

Answer 14

i would either walk alone, then you can have you moment to shine!  maybe ask your god dad if you have one, or someone you think of as your dad.  you could also just have your brother or mum walk you down...

walking down alone is really ok

or you could walk to the beginning of the aisle, wait and have your fiance come and get you - that would be adorable!!!

Answer 15

If you are close to your dad, I would have a sit down with him & ask him to please walk you down.  If he does not, you will both regret it.  This sit down will also give him the chance to tell you why he does not approve.  Be calm & listen to what he has to say, he may be right.

If you are not close to your dad, ask one of your brothers.

Again, if the people that are closest to you are not approving of who you are marrying, give it some serious thought!  I was in your shoes & married the guy anyway - only to get divorced 3 1/2 years later.

God's blessings to you!  Hope it all works out!

Answer 16

I say go yourself.  Your dad may very well turn around and decide to do it anyhow, but really, on your own sounds like it'd be the most appropriate.

Answer 17

I say go yourself.  You don't need someone to "give you away."  

Answer 18

If you're not particularly close to your brother, don't do that. It's your day, you shouldn't have to compromise.

Walking yourself down the aisle shows your parents that you are confident in going into this marriage.

Asking other family members is risky- I doubt they want to take sides over this.

You can't ask the bridemaid because she (if you have one) has to hold up your dress.

All the traditional people that gave me thumbs down, tradition is good but sometimes you can't be traditional. The tradition might be blighted by the fact that the father strongly disapproves. And you don't want your wedding blighted by anything.

Answer 19

Hi.  Any of the above is appropriate....

~ your mom.

~ your brother.

~ walk alone.

~ bride AND groom walk together.

Answer 20

talk to your father, even if he dont like the guy when you descided him not coming wont change mathers

your his only daugther by the sound of it, try to reason with him, that he dont have to like your guy to be there for you his daugther, and it would mean the world for you to have him there, and to please reconsider as this is your only wedding day, and neither of you can get the day back in the future, so if he can put his feelings aside for one day...and focus on you instead

Answer 21

go by yourself...

make a difference and be bold...

$$** LIVE LIFE KING SIZE **$$

Answer 22

Tradition is so.....traditional. I would ask your brother or your mom, wither will do, its YOUR day!  

Answer 23

Do you feel comfortable with your second brother? Does he disapprove, or is he supportive? I wouldn't ask your mom if she also disapproves - you don't want anyone to take away that moment of happiness walking down the aisle by making you uncomfortable.

If your brother makes you feel comfortable and relaxed then you should definitely ask him.

Or - what about having your future father in law walk you down the aisle? I've seen some brides do that because their father could not be there. It was very sweet.

Either that, or you can walk down the aisle alone. There is nothing wrong with that.

I have to say that walking down the aisle and having my husband see me in my gown for the first time was an absolutely wonderful moment. Be sure that you are relaxed and comfortable so you can enjoy every minute of it.