Who should i give up??? Man, Dog, or Mom?

Question

I am at a loss. Long story short. I have my dog. She is a great dog, and everyone loves her, kinda. She's been living at my moms due to my lack of space. I tried to move her in with me and my boyfriend. Trouble is my boyfriend hates living amongst animals (he's central american- people inside, dogs- outside, end of story. My mom is upset about having to take care of the dog (I dont live far and make sure she is taken care of and that the house isnt covered in dog hair) Nobody seems to want the dog but me. If it were up to me, i'd have her with me full time. My mom threatens to drop her off and have me deal with it (she thinks I am favoring my boyfriend in respecting his very strong convictions about animals, and that im not putting my foot down) She loves the dog, and only has a problem because he doesnt like animals and she basically wants me to force him to accept it. I dont thinking leaving a loving relationship becuase of an animal is right. I love my dog and can't bear the thought of giving her up. If she does "kick the dog out" my already strained relationship with my mom will probably be done. I could move in theory, but can't afford it. Boyfriend understands, but is holding his ground (he's also allergic). Any suggestions on how to keep my fur baby and my relationships???

Answer 1

Get rid of the man. In a heart beat. If my fiancee EVER looked at me and told me "its me or the dog" in any way shape or fashion, he'd be outside within the hour.

Its unfair for the dog to remain in a household where its either forced outside, or isn't wanted.

Kick the man out, bring the dog in. Lets see how he likes sleeping in all of the weather conditions, hot, cold, wind, rain, snow, etc. He'll change his tune hellaciously fast.

Answer 2

Ditch the man keep mom and the dog. Find a bf who loves living WITH animals and who isn't allergic.

ADD: Even if he wasn't allergic he would still not allow the dog in the house. So trying to talk him into allergy meds would be pointless. Even if you were to try and get a low shed low dander the dog would still be outside. And yes if I were your mother the dog would have been at your place a while ago.

When you got this animal you made a choice to be responsible for it.  You are with someone who will never allow and animal in the house. That's not fair to you or the dog.

Answer 3

Dump the man! What is he going to make you give up next?  

Answer 4

Did your boyfriend know about your dog from the beginning? If you were straightforward about the dog being yours and that the dog was a part of your life, then your boyfriend sounds controlling and you should dump him fast.

If he was under the impression that the dog lived with your mom and you weren't exactly forthcoming about the dog then its your own fault and now you defintely have a hard decision to make.

Regardless, its not the dogs fault you ended up in this situation and shouldn't have to suffer for it. Find a better home for the dog soon.  

Answer 5

How do you figure you're ever going to be able to have a dog?  What's the difference between getting rid of the dog now and getting rid of the dog later?

Clearly, if you're going to stay with your boyfriend you're never going to be able to have an indoor dog - is that ok with you?  If it is you need to find a home for your dog - he is not your mother's responsibility.

If you want to keep the dog, you need to find your own place, break up with your boyfriend and live with your dog.  That is the only scenario that includes keeping the dog.  If that's not what you're going to do then you need to be mature and find a new home for him.  

Answer 6

Any man that doesn`t have compassion for a dog has none for a human. The longer you stay with him, the more of that side you will see. You`re willing to anger your mon and perhaps give up your pet over this guy, honey, open up your eyes and do what you should have already done. Show him the door. Your dog loves you unconditionally, can you say the same for your b/f ?  Apparently not, he`s already proved that. Enjoy your dog, she`s the best friend you`ll ever have.

Answer 7

Newsflash; people are more allergic to cats than they are dogs.  Your bf is calling your bluff.  What more will he push for when it's all over with?

Plus it's your dog, not your mom's.

Ditch the bf; take the dog back and love your mother with all your heart.  

Answer 8

man should buy allergy medicine and get a grip.  If he loves you then he would accept the dog in the house, end of discussion.  

Answer 9

Find a new man....

Answer 10

So you are respecting his strong feelings but is he even attempting to respect yours? If he's not even willing to compromise, even a little bit so you don't have to part with your dog, then I'd kick him to the curb real quick.  

Answer 11

Like many others said, give up your boyfriend. Cute boys may come and go, but family (including pets) is forever.

Answer 12

This is a power-play from your possessive boyfriend. He wants you to prove your 'love' for him by seeing how much you will give up for his sake.

Men like that are a dime a dozen. It may be a sexually satisfying relationship, but is not a loving, caring relationship. A loving partner would never want you to feel the pain of such a loss.

If a person is in truly in love with you, he wants your happiness. Living with your pet is a small sacrifice.

You made a vow/commitment to your dog...first.

Unless your mom talked you into the dog, she is the innocent bystander here. Put yourself in her shoes, caring for a dog that is not hers, with no end in sight.

Answer 13

I am so sorry.  Maybe you have a really close friend that you can give her to or another relative you visit often.  if your boyfriend if alergic I would get rid of the dog and I know how hard that is I can't picture lift without my Claire.  But I am worried your dog might get stressed being bounced from home to home.  It is better to be in a place where it is care free and knows it is accepted by everyone.  I think you know what you have to do.  Also think how long you have had your dog and how long you have had your man.  who could you picture being without more?

Answer 14

put your foot down it your dog not your moms take care of it and i mean now. you sacrificed for him he can do the same for you  

Answer 15

i didn't even read your story.  of the three your mom and dog won't ever let you down.  can't say the same for the man.

Answer 16

Ooh, that's difficult. He does have a viable point. If his allergy is bad enough he can get truly sick even with meds. You can take the dog with you but since he's allergic I would suggest that you compromise and keep it outside for the most part. See if he'll let you bring her in every now and then and then agree to keep her outside at an almost equal amount of time. To keep the relationship that's all I can suggest. Especially if you truly love this man. If you do agree to have her outside then get a run. You tie it to two trees or posts and there's a mobile line so she can run and play wherever without running away or anything tragic. Or you could get a chip put in her ear and have boundaries put up. If she gets too close and tries to run away the boundaries will detect the chip and giver a small shock. Doesn't hurt just startles, like saying No! Bad! When potty training. This way you don't have to put her on a chain or worry about her running. I hope it gets worked out okay, and good luck! Remember it doesn't have to be one way or another if you can work out a compromise. I understand both sides as I adore my dog but am allergic. So I hope I could help in some way.

Answer 17

tell your boyfriend that you and the dog is a package deal and if he can't deal with it he needs to leave.

Answer 18

if this man truly loved you, he would get over himself and accept the dog. and if he still doesnt, they dump him, a dog will always love you no matter what!!

Answer 19

Ditch the man.

Answer 20

bye bye boyfriend

Answer 21

Wow.  Interesting answers so far.

Its unfair of you to expect your mother to take care of the dog when she doesn't want to.  Simple as that.  She has no obligation to that dog, you do.

Your boyfriend is allergic, and has his opinions.  If you're serious about him, respect his stance on it.  If you want to stay with him, you're not going to be able to have a dog (unless your situation changes and you are able to have an outside dog where you live).  

Decide now if you want to stay with your boyfriend.  If you want to, rehome the dog.  It isn't fair to your mother, or the dog, to keep them in that situation.  If you cannot take care of the dog (meaning, full-time), time to find an owner who will.

Answer 22

Say bye bye to Mr. I Hate Animals.

Answer 23

Easy choice.  Get rid of the man.

Answer 24

the thing is..that if you stay with this man you will never get to have pets. think about that you obviously love having them. and if he isnt willing to do this for you what does that say about him? he should realize and respect the love you have for this animal. if hes not willing to bend a little on this for you then just think what may happen later in life with other situations. its not fair that his word is law anymore than if it was you running the show if the tables were turned. get rid of the man.

Answer 25

I love dogs, the dog is like the best friend, is like part of the family.  Your boyfriend doesn't like animal and will always will have problem with that.  I would not have the heart to get rid of the dog.  I would rather keep the dog, no question about.

Ga

Answer 26

im sry but id ditch the man or youll never see tht dog again or any other one. i would never be with a dude tht didnt allow my babies in the house its diff if your married but not dating i would give him u if he cant except how you are and the "bagage" you come with (dog).  

Answer 27

I would say to ditch the man too!  If he is truly allergic then I sympathize with him, BUT, is he really???? Or is that just a way to control you and not allow the dog in the house.  Why should you be the one to give up your dog?  If he didn't understand you came as a package with the dog, then too bad for him.  Do you plan to never have a dog again in your home as long as he lives?  This is a decision that isn't just this dog this time, this is forever if you choose to stay with him.  There are many fish in the sea, and many men like dogs.  Find one who shares your love for dogs.  Sorry, probably not what you wanted to hear, but I don't like men who try to control others through demands and intimidation.  If he says, "It's me or the dog" Then there you go.  Get your dog and go.

Answer 28

Dump your boyfriend...NO QUESTION! Why on earth would you want anything to do with someone who places no value on your pet? Not to mention the fact that he's being unreasonable, and obviously has some "control" issues. I can't believe that you are actually considering getting rid of your dog though...wow. There is absolutely NO way in h**l I would ever even entertain that thought for one second! She's like my child (but better cause she doesn't talk back:). When you adopt a dog, it's a responsibility and it should be for life. Please re-read your question and try to see the situation from an objective point of view.

A man that dislikes dogs = A disrespectful, selfish, and most likely, abusive man.....LOSE HIM! Trust me, there are plenty of men out there.

And if you do give up your dog for him, you will end up regretting that decision for the rest of your life. Especially, when you guys break-up; which is inevitable. Dog lovers & those who do not like dogs, do NOT mix.

Answer 29

I would get rid of the boyfriend. If he cant let the dog inside then he is stupid. If he is like that then what else is he like, at the end of the day, she is your dog, and when you got her she became your job to always look after and always provide a home to. Your mum should be more important that your boyfriend.  

Answer 30

If your boyfriend has such strong convictions about animals I can only imagine what other things coming in the future you are going to be either giving up or doing with out because of his wishes.

Relationships are about compromise and it sounds like he is not doing any of that. Is this the way you are willing to live the rest of your life?

Tough question.

This time it is a dog what will it be next?

Your Mom is your Mom and always will be no matter what. That is family. She has done you a favor but maybe she things in the BF that she does not like and it pushing you to take a stand to see what he does.

Since he is allergic I understand he does not want to live with dogs. Are you willing to live pet free the rest of your life?

If it were me the man would go. Men come and go and all of them will give conditional love. Your dog gives unconditional love.  

Answer 31

I wouldn't sacrifice a companion animal for a man, at least not without a h**l of a good reason.  In this kind of case, I think I'd just consider it a case of irresolvable culture-clash.  I have sacrificed a lot in relationships, and still do, but the dog ain't one of them.  

I don't agree with your mom's opinion either, but in the end she's probably just upset to have someone else's dog in her house, and that I can understand.  Her opinion makes more sense to me than the boyfriend's.

He's putting his culture above yours, and there doesn't seem to be much room for compromise here.  It's okay to realize that you have enough of a rift in lifestyle that you can't make it work longterm, though it's better to decide now than when you have kids and you're too far apart culturally to agree on anything about them, either.

Take a hard look at your future life with this guy, what you are willing to sacrifice and what HE is going to sacrifice, and then decide if that's what you want.