Who should pay for dinner?

Question

For years my husband and I lived a thousand miles from his folks. When we would all get together we would 'argue' about who was going to get the check. That was fine when would see them once a year for maybe a week. Now we live close enough that we see them every couple of weeks and they want to pay for EVERYTHING! We don't mind them paying occasionally but we are in a better place financially then they are. What can we do to compromise?

Answer 1

Ways to compromise:

You and your husband pick the place, invite them, and say it'll be your (the two of you) treat beforehand.

Give your credit card to the restaurant discreetly soon after your arrival, and explain that the check should not be brought to your table without your credit card having been charged already.  This way, you still get a chance to look at the itemized bill to make sure it is correct, but it will be too late for your in-laws to pay.

Sometimes, parents insist on paying because they are the parents, even though the children are more wealthy.  If it will hurt your in-laws' feelings, try to pay for something else of a similar value for them.  It doesn't have to be exact and it doesn't have to be immediate.  For example, if they paid for the last 5 dinners and you figured you should have paid $X dollars total, pay for something they need for their house, like home repair or improvement, or give them a gift certificate, or send them on a short vacation, and etc.

Answer 2

Invite them for dinner at your home, instead of going out to eat.

Answer 3

This seems like a sticky situation. You could be honest with them, and let them know it's your pleasure to pay for dinner once in a while, and you appreciate they do, but that you feel spoiled, and you'd like to pay for your own.

You could also pre-arrange with your waiter that you'll be needing separate bills.

Another idea would be to eat at home more often together (at your place) therefore saving money, and you're still technically paying.

Once in a while you could come up with a celebratory reason to go out to dinner, and announce before hand it's your treat...

Hope this helps! Good luck!

Answer 4

Talk to the server beforehand and tell them separate checks sometimes or not when you are going to pay for them. Pride is very hard to overcome.

Answer 5

Alternate..

they pay one time, you pay the next.

Offer to pay, and if they say no, just smile and say "Okay, but we've got it next time." ...

if the next time they still say no, smile and tell them, "no no..you paid last time!" or at least offer to pay for your and your husbands half of the check.

Answer 6

Have them over to your place for a lovely home cooked meal.And make a little extra for them to take home.

Answer 7

tell them that they've done so much for you and that it's great that you dont live as far away from them as before and that you would like to pay. or just say that you don't feel right when they pay for everything and if that doesn't work you can just split the bill.

Answer 8

the next time you guys go out to dinner or somewhere, tell them that you want to pay this time, and next time they can pay. Tell them that you should alternate, because you do have money. And fight them for the check.

Answer 9

the man always pays. it is as simple as that.  

Answer 10

Split the check. You pay for half, they pay for half. And if they decline, treat them to something else they don't expect. Buy them something that they need without telling them, and they won't be able to pay for it :D

OR you could just make them dinner rather than always going out. That's the easiest way.