Who should walk me down the aisle?

Question

I'd really love for both my parents to walk me down the aisle when I get married next year, even though they divorced 5 years ago. I talked to my dad about it tonight, and he's in favor of the idea. But my mom can't stand to be around my dad at all (even for the sake of her daughters and/or granddaughters), and she's already said no.

It would mean the world to me to have both of them give me away, and I'd feel like I'm caught in the middle if I have to choose. I'm planning on seating them separately with their significant others, I would just like them to put aside their differences for a few minutes to walk me down the aisle. Is there anything I can say to my mom to make her reconsider and possibly change her mind???

Answer 1

Don't put your Mother through that if she feels antagonistic toward your Dad...Just have your Dad walk you down which is customary and then during your ceremony, to honor your Mother, I would give both Mothers 1 long stem rose with a tied ribbon lighting a candle for each Mother.  I saw this done and it was so beautiful it had everyone in tears.  Have the minister say:  "Now the bride and groom will light a candle for their Mothers and present to their Mothers a gift of love".  This way everyone is happy, everyone is honored and there is no hurt feelings.  

Answer 2

talk to your mom again, if she can not be mature enough to swallow her pride to do this for her daughter, then she does not deserve to!

Answer 3

It's usually just the father of the bride that walks his daughter down the aisle.  Your mother said she would feel uncomfortable, so please, don't do it.  She will be the first to be escorted to her seat when the ceremony starts, with her husband walking behind her.  Then your father's wife.  Then your bridesmaids, your maid of honor and your flower girl then you and your dad.  Your mother's probably gave this a lot of thought since it is your wedding, and she's probably doing a lot already just being cordial to your father and his wife during the rehearsal dinner and at the reception as it is.  It would look really awkward to have both walking you down the aisle, as the focus of attention will then not be on you, everyone will be looking at them.  Plus, it's just the father of the bride.  (Or an uncle, a brother.)  

Answer 4

Sounds like she's being a bit selfish, it's your wedding, after all. The main thing I can think of is to just explain to her that this would mean a lot to you, and explain it'll only take 2 minutes and she can just ignore your father, and once you are down the aisle, she can go sit down.

The other option is to do a switch off, not as good, I know, but what if your mom/dad walks you halfway down the aisle, then hands you off to your dad/mom, and then you walk the rest of the way?

I'm sorry this is happening to you, but maybe just bring it up until she caves, and tears always seems work if you want to play dirty.

Answer 5

What a tough situation. But it seems to me that on the happiest day of your life, the last thing you need is someone uncomfortable and miserable walking you down the aisle. If I were you, I'd probably just accept my mother's refusal to comply, and try to enjoy just walking down the aisle with my father. Perhaps you can find another way to honor and celebrate your relationship with your mom at the wedding--I'm actually having a dance with my mother as well as my father. :)

Answer 6

well really its YOUR wedding and ur mum should want to do this for u, forgoodness sake its 2 minutes and one moment ur remmeber forever and maybe u need to tell her this, if she still says no say fine and just have ur dad n never mention it to her again.her loss huni

goodluck

xx

Answer 7

It is sad that your mom can't put away her anger for just a few minutes for you.  You may want to try talking to her again and explain how much it would mean to you.  If she still refuses then at least you have your dad to walk you down the aisle.  Try to accept that and be happy in spite of your mom.

Answer 8

I would just keep trying to explain to  her how much it would mean to you if she could be a big enough person to put her feelings about your father aside that short walk. Or you could try another approach and ask her why she thinks your dad should get all the glory?

I had both my parents walk me down the aisle, it was a spur of the moment thing for me (my mum went to leave and I begged her to walk with me too) best decision I ever made :)

Either way I hope you have a fantastic wedding and a long and happy marriage :)

Good Luck and have fun!

Answer 9

This is a bit of a tough one where someones feelings may get hurt no matter the decision.  Your wedding is a beautiful, joyous occasion that, naturally, you want both of your parents to be a part of. But if your mom just really isn't comfortable with walking you down the aisle with your father, as hard as it is for you, try to accept it. I know because I've been there.  At my wedding, my dad walked me down the aisle, my mother helped me prepare with my gown and the finishing touches. She was already down the aisle awaiting us as I made my walk. They both had something to do that was extremely important to me and they both made my day even more special because despite their differences, they did set them aside to be there for me, even if it wasn't exactly the way that I had dreamed it. Divorce is hard on a couple and sometimes the pain that one feels shows itself as anger more than it does as what it is, pain.  Try to not label her as being "selfish" because that will cause resentment for a long time, but try to see things through her eyes.  

Answer 10

your moms being selfish. your her daughter she should put all diffrences aside. plus they are not gonna have to be next to each other. you will be between them. but just keep asking. tell her how much it would mean to you... if she still says no just respect her choice. but i would let her know how much it upsets you and how you fell that your wedding would not be complete.

Answer 11

The only thing you could do is try talking to her again, tell her you understand how she feels, but also how much it would mean to you if she accepted this proud role, and if she still won't accept, then maybe you could ask her how she'd feel about just your dad giving you away, and her making a speech instead?

But whatever the outcome try to focus on the happy things, you are marrying the man you love, the happiest day of your life, enjoy it!

Good luck and congrats x