Who thinks this is a fair biting policy?

Question

I run a small in home day care, and I have a child enrolled who bites on a pretty frequent basis -- I'd say between 1-5 times per week. We have tried everything we can here and at home, and are following all the correct guidelines and doctor's orders, so please do not give me suggestions on how to stop him from biting -- we know what to do and it's not working.

What I want to know is if the policy I am implementing starting today is fair or not. Here it is without all the legal mumbo-jumbo, just putting it in simple terms here and not putting in the actual copy -- don't worry their copy will be professional:

If a child bites 5x within 2 weeks, they will be asked to take a 1 week break from daycare (still have to pay.)

When the child comes back, if they bite 3x within 2 weeks, they will be asked to take another 1 week break (still pay as well.)

When the child comes back again, if they EVER bite 3x within a 2 week period, they will be asked to leave permanently and will have 2 weeks to find an alternate childcare provider.

Does this seem fair? Please advise -- thanks!

Answer 1

Your policy seems very fair on the biter and their parents.

However you may find that other parents will have their children out of your day care a lot quicker than it takes another child to bite 11 times.

What happens if the child picks one other child to bite, do you wait until that child has been bitten 11 times before taking serious action?

I may have understood 1-2 bites, but a 3rd and I would expect that child to be removed permanently for the safety of the others.

Answer 2

Seems fair enough.  My daughter's daycare has a similar system for incidents like this but they offer 2 vacation weeks/year where the parents don't have to pay and still keep the child's spot.  This is of course can be used for vacations, if the child is sick and misses a week, and can be used for mandatory time away (for incidents such as the one you described, etc..).

I'm not sure about charging when my child's absence is mandatory like that. This means I have to find (and probably pay) for someone else to care for my child so not only am I paying for you to not watch my child BUT I'm paying additional money to have someone else help???  I'd charge them half of the weekly rate to maintain the child's spot in the daycare that way it will be more affordable for the parent to get help during the 1 week break(s).  Just my personal opinion of course.

Answer 3

When I was starting my daycare (I moved so I never got to start it) I wrote up a specific section in the manual for biting.  My policy was Bite the first time-the parents get a warning.  Bite a second time-they are asked to remove the child for one week-while still paying.  And the third time they were no longer to have their child in the daycare.  I think that 5x and 3x is A LOT of chances to give them.  Biting is a serious thing and if you give them all those chances, the parents wont have to deal with it as soon as they should.  

Answer 4

No I don't think you should give that many chances. That's a lot of biting still going on. The 1st is a warning to the parents, The second is the suspension, and the 3rd is find different child care. Period. Think about your other children. If my child got bit twice in 1 week I will pull my child so fast you won't remember she was there.

Answer 5

Sounds very reasonable, you are giving the parents EVERY opportunity to get a handle on their child.

Answer 6

What are you going to do when the children bite immediately?  You're talking long term and that's fine.  But you need to have an immediate plan of action.  I work with toddler and we never have long range plans for them, just short term, like end of the week or day to day plans.  With biters, you can never tell how they will behave or what will "set" them off.  

There is a book "Teeth are not for biting" that is really great. I read it to my class and we discuss that the only things we are allowed to bite are our food.  Period.  There is also an article that I give to my parents, the biter and the victims, about biting from NAECY.  It is really good and describes the different types of biters.  

If a child continues to bite as much as you are citing, you really need to look at the factors of why they are biting.  You shouldn't kick them out, you need to amend what you are doing and change your enviroment so they no longer have cause to bite.  

Good Luck!

Answer 7

Firstly I would resent being expected to pay whilst my child was 'suspended' from daycare.  The parents should be made aware with each instance of biting so that they can do what they can before you suspend their child and charge them for the privilege.

Secondly - you are not showing any commitment to solving the problem of biting yourselves.  Perhaps if a child persistantly bites you should speak to the parents in a more formal setting and ask them to work with you to provide an answer.  You can not simply stop a child from bad behaviour - sometimes it takes all involved with the child working together in a consistant way to break the bad behaviour.

Perhaps you could suspend after the first 5 instances - then draw up a behaviour contract with the parents - explaining what you expect them to do in order to solve the behaviour problems and show what you will do to help them.

Then - if all else fails - give them their notice to find someone else.

Answer 8

You're going to p**s a lot of people off with the whole 'take a break but still pay us' bit. Other than that, it seems fair.

Answer 9

no obviously you have not done everything you can or he still wouldn't be biting your policy is not rational and i would not have my children in your facility!!!

Answer 10

Why do they have to pay when their child is suspended?  You do realize that the parents need to find a place to keep their kids while they go to work.  That needs to be done ASAP.  So, I don't understand the paying bit.  Also, here's a surefire tip that will not fail.  If the child wants to bite, offer him your finger.  When he/she come to bite, put your finger down their throat.  The child will gag and pull away (no permanent damage).  Offer him a bit again.  Repeat the gagging.  I'm sure that the child will not take you up on the third offer to bite your hand.

Good Luck.

Answer 11

Oh biting, isn't it fun!

Like you have stated it's a fairly normal part of development to a point, obviously you have a little pit-bull on your hands, I have been in a similar position and it's not fun for anyone involved.

I assume the child in question has had developmental issues ruled out, often that is part of the reason.

I think your policy is generous, as most places go with the 3 bite rule, it's what I would put in place but you know the child best.

Have you found out what policy your state has? I do think parents of the children who are victims may not like that the child has 5 times to bite in a 10 day span, my honest opinion? I wouldn't allow my child to attend a center with that lenient of a policy.  I think it's very biter friendly, and I understand it's not always an easy process to stop the biting.

I feel you have to take all children into account and that they deserve a safe environment and that if the child who bites frequently must be removed.

It's really hard and not a fun thing to do when it's obvious that everyone is trying to help the child who is the biter, but in the end the safety of the other children is more important.

I don't envy you at all, you are in a really tough spot. In the end though parents will start pulling children out. I've seen it happen...

Good Luck with what every route you choose.

EDIT**--- I just wanted to add that it would be in your best intrest to follow the guidelines for your state or you may be opening yourself up to litigation.

Answer 12

Hi!

  I think your policy sounds great, except the paying part. At the very least, you should cut the rate by 50% for the two weeks they are not there. But I can't imagine they would go for "stay away for a week or two, but I want full profit".

  I do not believe it is your job to teach this child not to bite. It starts with the parents. You should enforce the no biting rule, but you are not responsible for teaching him life... that is the job for the parents.

  So, yes, give them a few chances to correct this behavior. And you are perfectly justified in asking him to leave if things do not improve. I would not put my child in a carecenter if I knew a problem child was there.

Good luck

Answer 13

i think that is rediculous. how is that helping the child with biting?

I worked in a daycare, and we had a biter there aswell. You can not leave the child alone long enough to get his teeth into anyone. The child we had was around 2, and he had to be under constant eye. if i left the area, he came with me...it is a faze that they grow out of, but you have to stay on top of him. If he happens to bite again, do the time out with him. tell him NO, Biting is OWY, show him the mark he made on whom every, and sit him in a time out chair. Dont give up on him. you say you have done everything, but you have not. if you have, he wouldnt be biting still. he needs consistancy.

I think your policy is crazy, and if i were the parent and you told me that is what you were going to do, i would pull my kid out that day.

Answer 14

My son attends a 2 yr old program that has a zero tolerance for biting, first offense, the  child is out for the week, 2nd time expelled.  This I think is harsh.  I think that your policy is fair.  

In addition I had a biter (I still have him, but the biting resolved).  My youngest is known as a sensory seeker.  He does get OT for sensory issues and it resolved the biting.  We do some vibration, and used to give him appropriate therapeutic tools to bite on like the ARK baby grabber and a tri-chew.